what age would you let your DC do the following things?

[deliverdaniel]

Trying to work out if IABU

What age would you let your DCs do the following (FWIW mine have no special needs/ unusual circumstances etc)

1. Go to the small park at the end of your own road to play alone or with a friend (safe area, no roads to cross, about 100 feet from the house round one corner)

2. Go to the local shop without an adult (4 min walk with one main road to cross with a pedestrian/ traffic light crossing and no other roads to cross)

3)Walk to school alone or with a friend- 15 minute walk, several side roads to cross but no main road.

All in a safe, quiet-ish suburban area

Thank you!

About 9 for the first two and 10 for the school walk. Though mine are both summer born, so did some things earlier because all their peers had been doing them for ages. they'd finished primary by age 10 because of when their birthdays fall.

5

5 or maybe 7 depending on the exact layout of the road crossing etc. The road crossing is the only reason it wouldn't be 5.

5 or 6 but it wouldn't really come up, due to school policies.

I do wonder if these 5/6 year olds who go to the park alone are also left at home alone for a few hours

Nope, but then there's never been a need or a desire by the child, the desire is to go to the park / play out with their friends by themselves, that's what DD wants. She doesn't have a similar want to stay in - and there's never really a reason to leave her in on their own.

I'm in London and fairly central so for mine:-

1. 7 to go to the (supervised) adventure playground around the corner crossing one quiet road but 10 and in a group of other children to the unsupervised park next to it as people hang out drinking and doing drugs there.
2. DD1 8 and DD2 7 to go to shop together crossing an extremely busy main road at the green man.
3. School wouldn't let them go alone until the eldest was in year 5. I delayed it until the nights and mornings were light and then DD1 was 9 and she and another friend in Yr5 were walked to bus stop and they took dd2 (then 8) to school and back. DD1 had a mobile and had to call me to say she'd got to school OK and that they were on the bus on their way home. They also had to sit downstairs as a lot of very rowdy older children also on their way to school.

Having said that, at age 9 I would put dd1 on the tube (in a carriage with lots of ladies) at about 4pm and she'd make her own way to an activity by London Bridge Station twice a week. Again she had to phone to tell me she'd got there and we had a few drills so she knew what to do in an emergency.

I'm surprised by some of the early posts on this thread as by age 11 they were able to negotiate a busy suburban railway station with several platforms to get to and from school, like a lot of London school children.

9/10 for all of them. DS walked to school in year 4 and has been meeting friends at the park since year 5. We live in a largish town but school / park / shop are all within 5 minutes walk.

8ish for me. My ekdest was doing the shop and school equivalents at 9, the younger around 8 (met him partway from school). Had perhaps done a shop visit, no roads to cross and 2 mins down the road, at 7 going on 8. Tbh i'd struggle most with the park thing, though we never had that situation.

Also in Germany and I have always been on the way overprotective end of the scale here. My 9yo cycles to school alone (1 road with crossing, uses the pavements otherwise) and to his best friend's cycles with friends to an activity across town once a week. Extremely normal here, but I expect I'd be reported to SS in the UK.

9 for the first two, 11 for the 3rd (so secondary school age). Depending on how trustworthy/mischievous they are!

Wow...I'm taken aback by some responses.

Absolutely not saying that PP are wrong...I guess it's just that I wasn't allowed to do any of those things before about 10/11 and that was 20+ years ago in a relatively quiet village setting.

Is there a regional difference?

In the South East I would say I never, ever see 8 year olds alone TBH.

Again...not saying PP are wrong. I'm just taken aback at the difference in ages. Could well be over protection here.

I'm in Wales and it's usual from about Year 3/4 onwards to be out and about with friends.

It also depends a lot on how many other kids are out and about. Mine had masses of freedom at the park near their infant school, where all the parents congregated in one corner while kids from age 3-11 roamed freely, over a very wide area and often out of sight. But at the same state I would have felt less comfortable about them walking along to our nearest park, which is always strangely deserted.

Similarly, if every child was expected to walk alone to school from a young age (as it would appear they are in Germany), there would be safety in numbers and parents would feel confident that the community at large was looking out for them, because everyone's children were in the same boat.

I let my almost 7 year old play out unsupervised but I probably wouldn't leave him alone in the house (though it hasn't come up yet) - he does get up on his own in the mornings though and spend an hour or so unsupervised.

there would be safety in numbers and parents would feel confident that the community at large was looking out for them, because everyone's children were in the same boat

That does make a huge difference. When you regularly see young children out and about by themselves/with friends then it feels much more safe to let your child do the same.

Around here, happily from 7/8

Actually, the shop from 4, but that's a bit of a cheat as it's a village shop a few doors down & they know us 😊

However, there are a few places I drive to for work and if we lived there they'd not be allowed out until they could drive.

DS started walking to school and back by himself at the start of year 5 - about a ten minute walk over quiet roads. If he had to cross a trunk road I probably wouldn't have allowed it. He hasn't expressed a desire to do 1 or 2, but I would let him do them now (he's almost 11) and I would have allowed it a year ago.
He does very occasionally pop into a shop on the way home from school.
I agree with Bertrand - kids don't have enough independance nowadays, and they need freedom to develop.

1)8
2)9/10
3) Year 6

Not till secondary school, so 11.

1. 7 or 8
2. 8 or 9
3. 10 or 11

Remember moving from north London to NZ and seeing young children 7ish walking round barefoot and crossing roads unaccompanied, was a shock.

For my children in Switzerland, following what the locals do:

1. 5
2. Going to the shop and crossing minor roads: 6-7 - they even had this set from school as a homework task at 6, to go to the local bakery on their own.

Crossing a main road: depends on how fast/busy it is 7-11

1. 6 (on starting school, parents get a letter telling them how positive it will be for their child's social and emotional development if they get the experience of walking to school on their own).

they even had this set from school as a homework task at 6, to go to the local bakery on their own

Love that!

Haven't RTFT but

1. 8
2. 10
3. 9

1. 8
2. 8
3. 9-10

Will read the thread now.

8-10, depending on child. I was doing it at 5, but that's the early 70's for you.

It's all very situation specific, and maturity of child.

We used to live in Big City. But home was a quiet cul de sac full of kids playing out, so they were out from age 4 - supervised by parents all looking out at various times, good sight lines and a big "pack" of kids of all ages, so the small ones were looked after by the sensible older ones.

Now we live in Medium Town, but on a big road, no kids nearby (older neighbours) so no playing out and nearest parks are 5-10 mins walk over roads with few crossings. Ditto nearest shop. So in our scenario now, the park/shop stuff would be a bit older than 8, or require more practice runs and a greater degree of trust. But in OP's scenario I'd be cool with a much younger child going out.

1. 6-7
2. 7-8
3. 8-9

8
8
11