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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have allowed my 15yo a second ear piercing?

91 replies

pizzagal · 20/07/2017 20:59

This won't change anything that's happened but just interested to hear a second opinion.

My DD is 15. She had her first ear piercing aged 13 and as an end of year treat I've allowed her a second one, which is just behind the regular piercing. IMO looks lovely and really suits her.

DD has been texting MIL this evening who is a stroppy interfering cow at the best of times and decided to send her a pic of her new piercing. MIL is disgusted and has been ranting on the phone to me about how 'unprofessional' it looks, how chavvy, how inappropriate it is for a girl of DD's age; the list goes on.

Of course I won't make DD remove the piercing now but just interested to hear the general opinion.

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 20/07/2017 21:01

Your MIL sounds like my mother. You have my sympathies.

CruCru · 20/07/2017 21:01

Meh. Lots of people have had that done. If she decides she doesn't like it later, she can take the earring out.

Notgotajarofglue · 20/07/2017 21:02

I had my second set done age 10 in an attempt to coax my 2 year old sister to have hers done

not helpful

CruCru · 20/07/2017 21:03

Also - unprofessional? A 15 year old is not a professional.

LindyHemming · 20/07/2017 21:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicolasFlamel · 20/07/2017 21:03

Blimey I wouldn't have thought twice about it really.
I think me and my friends went off and got our second holes done at 15/16 at some dodgy place that didn't bother checking how old we were anyway. They've closed up now because I didn't wear earrings very much. Nobody has called me unprofessional. I wouldn't worry. None of MIL's business anyway.

early30smum · 20/07/2017 21:03

I think it's fine. Plenty of professional women have a second ear piercing. If that's the worst thing your 15 year old does you're doing a good job with her! Also it's great that she asked you, many 15 yr olds would have just gone and done it. By allowing her to make the choice about something relatively harmless, you're saying you trust her, and it'll hopefully mean she's more respectful of you and of your rules and stance on others things.

ZanyMobster · 20/07/2017 21:03

It really wouldn't bother me, a simple 2nd eat piercing is nothing to get wound up over. Totally ignore MIL, I bet your DD was excited too bless her.

Original poster
pizzagal · 20/07/2017 21:04

Ah glad to hear I'm not totally mad! SaucyJack if you want a MIL/mother based rant any time I'm totally up for it :)

OP posts:
barefoofdoctor · 20/07/2017 21:04

Silly woman wants to get a grip and learn some manners. It's hardly noticeable if DD changes her mind is it?! At 14 I was regularly sticking pins and jewellery through various body parts but DM just smiled and said 'how nice dear'. Of all the things DD could be doing to/with her body.
It's a lesson on small minded idiots though.

MrsCharlieD · 20/07/2017 21:04

Yanbu. I had my ears pierced at least 3 times by that age. I then pierced my lip at 18 and now I'm heavily tattooed. I hold a senior management position in a national company. Your mil needs to get herself out of the 50s and do one.

nancy75 · 20/07/2017 21:04

Unprofessional? How can she look unprofessional - she's a school girl!
Does your mil know you can take earring out? Yanbu & your mil sounds like hyacinth bucket

ZanyMobster · 20/07/2017 21:05

I work in a professional job and have 6 holes in my ears now, no one has ever mentioned it to me.

thefutureisfemale · 20/07/2017 21:05

MIL needs to mind her business and not communicate with your DC until she can do so with respect and kindness.

Moanyoldcow · 20/07/2017 21:05

I've got two holes in each lobe. And a pierced pinna.

I'm an accountant. Unprofessional my arse.

Let her enjoy it.

Original poster
pizzagal · 20/07/2017 21:05

early30smum exactly my thinking, my DD is a lovely well behaved girl and I'd much rather her have it done properly in a salon rather than alone with a needle and some soap Hmm and yes - she loves it and is v excited!

OP posts:
BoobieHolster · 20/07/2017 21:06

It's her body! And it's only an ear piercing for goodness sake, it's hardly an enormous facial tattoo or something. Bet it looks lovely Smile

NinaMarieP · 20/07/2017 21:06

I got my second piercings when I was in my late twenties, and I wish I'd done it far earlier as I love them!

Nothing unprofessional about them in my opinion, and if a job requires no piercings they can be just as easily removed as the first pair.

Original poster
pizzagal · 20/07/2017 21:07

Yep, MIL is ridiculous, loads of hilarious tales about her but I'll save them for another thread Wink

OP posts:
thefutureisfemale · 20/07/2017 21:07

Can you ask DH to talk to his mother about the right way to speak to your dc?

Original poster
pizzagal · 20/07/2017 21:09

thefutureisfemale my poor DH had awful family issues growing up which still trouble him. He's scared of his mother and hence probably wouldn't choose to tell her off. Hence, none of her teenage grandchildren like her. It's very sad. Sad

Actually while we're at it, does anyone have thoughts on how to manage the above situation?

OP posts:
Vinorosso74 · 20/07/2017 21:09

Oh dear my DM would be the same. Sadly it seems to be a generational thing (mostly). She is 15 and wanted it done, you took her somewhere rather than her going somewhere dodgy so no issue in my view.

DramaAlpaca · 20/07/2017 21:10

I'm a professional who got a second piercing aged 50 something. I think it looks great & your MIL needs to mind her own business. I wish my DM had allowed me a second piercing at 15, but she was of the same opinion of your MIL.

BoobieHolster · 20/07/2017 21:11

I want to get mine done again now Grin does it hurt much? I've forgotten!

nibblingfingernails · 20/07/2017 21:12

My youngest DD had 2 ear piercings, she asked me and I agreed - would much rather she speaks with me and asks than go to (or even get a friend to do it). She is now 17, and a few weeks back asked if she could get her top ear done on 1 side. We respect each other, she listens to me and I listen to her. It's not something I would want in myself but the way I think is that there are worse things she could be doing!!!