To cancel on my friend last minute?

[andshewillbeloved]

Last year my friend booked tickets to go to the theatre with me and her other friend. Since we booked things have changed a lot and money is really right at the moment. The show is in a week and the tickets are £40 - she said I could pay her on the day. As well as the money I would have to leave dd for the day who is really clingy with me and would probably be upset if I went off for the day.

I hate cancelling but for the reasons I've mentioned I can't see how I can go. Am I being a bad friend?

It would be deeeadful if you. I literally can not believe you ba elder it so late.

Pay for the ticket and now see if you can sell to recoup a bit.

Seriously

Would you still pay her or is she supposed to just take a hit on the cost of the tickets? If no payment then yes, YABU.

Has she already paid for the tickets? Will you pay her for the tickets if she has?

If you cancel, you still have to pay her for the ticket if she can't return it or sell it on.

yabu

You can cancel, but you'd still owe her £40 unless she can sell the ticket on the day.

Well leaving your friend to pay the £40 is hardly fair is it? Why should she be out of pocket?

You're planning to leave her £40 down?

That would be the end of the friendship if someone did that to me- it's not a huge amount it's just such a shoddy thing to do.

Yes that's "bad friend" territory. It's too last minute. You've known about your financial situation and that your DD is clingy for quite a while. Pulling out now is unfair.

Sounds like you can't be bothered to me.

She booked and paid a year ago.
The event is next week.
Presumably childcare for the day was sorted ages ago.
It would be really rude to cancel with such late notice (and you would still have to pay.)
Why didn't you pay before now?
Who were you planning on leaving DD with? How old is she?

Of course you still need to pay for the ticket!
How old is your child?

Nah you're not being a bad friend. Just let her know you can't afford it any more and see if she can find another friend to go with them instead of you who will pay your ticket instead. You do the same - find someone else to take your place.

If you can't find anyone, just pay the 40 quid and still don't go.

No friendship lost in those cases, I reckon.

Would she let you pay her back over a period of time if she's paid for the ticket? Tenner a week maybe?

Whether you go or not you still have to pay her for the ticket.

Sorry I should have said.. yes I will definitely pay for the ticket but wouldn't be able to afford train tickets/dinner etc that she was planning.

If she says yes I'd still go. Sounds maybe like you've changed your mind about going?

If you can't afford the ticket then you need to find a buyer for it, she shouldn't be left with the hassle.

You have had a year to save the money. This is really off.

You could have let her know any time over a year. You must pay for the ticket even if it's in instalments.

Don't go for the dinner then. Surely your train can't be that much that you've not been able to put a bit aside for it since this was booked.

As I said, a lot has changed since it was booked - unexpected house move mainly - and to be honest I completely forgot about the show until she mentioned it last week. Dd is 2 and originally I was going to ask my dad to look after her.