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Original poster

To think if a young child asks about periods you should just give them the facts?

155 replies

RedStripeIassie · 18/07/2017 13:38

My dd (just 4) is a superglue child and still comes with me to the toilet 9/10 times. She notices each month I 'have blood wee wee' which is what she calls them and she's just started asking more. I've explained that women and older girls have blood in a part of their tummy that comes out and we use types of bandages to catch it. She's asking lots of questions and saying randomly 'boys don't have the blood in their tummies' etc. She wanted to know where it comes out so I told her out of my fanny and so she did the whole 'girls have fannys, boys have willys' thing on repeat.

To me that all seems ok but I'm doubting myself now as she'll be talking about it at pre school and I wonder if teachers etc will be Hmm at what I've said or the fact she's on with me whilst I'm changing tampons etc. It's ok isn't it?

OP posts:
leafv · 18/07/2017 15:01

I'm a science teacher, secondary so a bit different but I wish more parents would talk honestly about these things with their children. You wouldn't believe some of the things they think are true!

pigsDOfly · 18/07/2017 15:03

There was a thread on here not long ago that threw up the fact that many grown women appear to be under the impression that they pee and give birth from the same orifice. Bearing that in mind, it's not really surprising that there are still a great many people who having little or no knowledge about their bodies, how they function and the correct names for the various parts.

TheSparrowhawk · 18/07/2017 15:03

'I'm a science teacher, secondary so a bit different but I wish more parents would talk honestly about these things with their children. You wouldn't believe some of the things they think are true!'

This is what I mean leaf. For the most part parents are so keen for their children to learn. Except when it comes to anything vaguely sexual. Then they seem happy to have their children knowing utter nonsense and being totally confused.

Armi · 18/07/2017 15:04

I just told DD that women bleed for a bit every month and it's nothing to worry about. Have told her she can have more details when she's a little bit older. My main concern was reassuring her that I was ok and that periods are normal.

Areyoulocal · 18/07/2017 15:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gluteustothemaximus · 18/07/2017 15:04

Same here TheMysterious - I explained it as blood builds up around my uterus. The blood is there for a baby. If there's no baby, then the blood comes out as a period, then builds up again for the next month.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 18/07/2017 15:06

Sorry about you experiences sparrowhawk Flowers

OP posts:
TheSparrowhawk · 18/07/2017 15:08

Thanks RedStripe.

Children need to be able to say specifically 'this happened and I didn't like it.' Vagueness only increases the risk that abuse will go unnoticed.

TheSparrowhawk · 18/07/2017 15:11

Even if there's no worry of abuse, though, why not tell children about the whole process? Periods aren't exactly exciting but children do love knowing things about how bodies work - they find it fascinating.

TheSparrowhawk · 18/07/2017 15:19

It's worth remembering too that a child can feel very foolish and embarrassed if they've been told something vague and they repeat that to their friends who laugh because they know the actual truth. Children rely on their parents for information - they ask in good faith and they expect a truthful answer. If you tell them something that's not quite true you're setting them up for disappointment and confusion later on. There's just no need for it.

Hidingtonothing · 18/07/2017 15:22

I think I told DD when she asked at about age 6, I just did a basic run down of the biology of it and told her it was normal and natural and nothing to worry about. She's asked a few questions since (she's 8 now) which I've answered in a bit more detail but I'm thinking a book might be in order fairly soon. Can anyone recommend a good one please?

Red I think you handled it fine, we all have varying opinions about language but the important thing is that DD understood, at 4 I think that's all that really matters.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 18/07/2017 15:26

Cheer hiding Grin. You know when you just stop and think uh? Was that ok to say?

sprarrowhawk good points. I still think everything dd gets the wrong end of the stick with or can't say properly is cute but she starts school after the summer and things will change.

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 18/07/2017 15:28

Fanny equal to dick/ cock here too...

And it's better to have a word like fanny than to be taught your vulva is your vagina

Why not be taught that your vulva is your vulva?

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 18/07/2017 15:28

Cheers I meant Blush

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/07/2017 15:31

Around here fanny is quite rude and likely to get a bit of a shock reaction but 30 mins up the road it's not

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 18/07/2017 15:34

Absolutely right to talk to her OP but I would say pads/tampons, why not? There's NO need to replace perfectly acceptable normal words for these objects with "bandages" and it might be confusing for her and the school nurse she ever needs first aid at school!

innagazing · 18/07/2017 15:39

KingJoffrey
Was that 'bobbin' as in 'in and out' or 'up and down' maybe? Grin

ellenripleysbiceps · 18/07/2017 15:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
RedStripeIassie · 18/07/2017 15:41

I'm definelty going to stop saying bandages. I don't know why I didn't just say pads and tampons.

OP posts:
FlakeBook · 18/07/2017 15:41

Fanny is like saying dick here. I'd tell a child off for saying it and I'm certain a teacher would too.

callmehannahbaker · 18/07/2017 15:53

DD knows I 'have blood' every month (her term), that it's generally called a period and is because I'm menstruating. She know's it comes out of my vagina (which she still prefers to call a front bum), and that she'll get them when she's older. She also shouts through the house "do you need a talpom?!" pretty much every time I go to the loo (I hadn't any to hand once, two years ago!)

I think whatever terms you use, as long as the facts are correct, it's fine.

Doing as my DM did and saying "whoops! I don't know what's happened there" when I saw is not good!

Same with the facts of life, the mummy does not swallow the seed to get pregnant, it winds me up!

pinkdonkey · 18/07/2017 16:02

I wasn't ever given a name for my vulva/vagina as a child just told that grown up ladies had an extra hole in the middle that babies came out of and sex ed ammounted to "don't do it until you are married" I also remember much hillarity in a class at school where a teenage boy asked why babies don't fall out their mum's bums when they have a poo!

DH who is normally very forthright in conversations about such things completely confused me and his young DN by telling her to wipe her "mary" when she had a wee!

I will definately be teaching DC in an age appropriate way when the time comes, not sure about using the term Fanny now, I've always considered in a polite name similar to saying willy, didn't know it was considered rude.

Hapaxlegomenon · 18/07/2017 16:04

Fanny is not a course word for vagina in my opinion. I said vagina once and my Nan corrected me to call it fanny! Still call it fanny Blush

bbpp · 18/07/2017 16:11

For the fanny comments: I said earlier it's crude where I am, and it is, but only for when its referring to your vagina IYSWIM?

Fanny pack, fannying around and Aunt Fanny wouldn't bother anyone, but it is vulgar when used in the context of referring to a vagina. Fanny is almost exclusively used by teenagers/YAs in a sexual or jokey way here, equivalent to knob (another one that's fine in a different context i.e door handle, but you don't want to hear a 5 yo call his penis that!).

HiJenny35 · 18/07/2017 16:13

I'm a teacher and to be honest I think you should actually give facts, it's not a blood wee wee, fanny and bandages simply because as she gets older it will just confuse more when other girls start talking about things and teachers may ask questions if she says mummy has bandages on her fanny!
Just say it's called a period and it a bit of blood that doesn't hurt. Ladies have it when they are older and it shows that the parts of their body that make babies are all working correctly. I wear a pad to keep me clean. It comes from my vagina. My four year old understands that level of description perfectly well and doesn't go around brining it up.