To think if a young child asks about periods you should just give them the facts?

[RedStripeIassie]

My dd (just 4) is a superglue child and still comes with me to the toilet 9/10 times. She notices each month I 'have blood wee wee' which is what she calls them and she's just started asking more. I've explained that women and older girls have blood in a part of their tummy that comes out and we use types of bandages to catch it. She's asking lots of questions and saying randomly 'boys don't have the blood in their tummies' etc. She wanted to know where it comes out so I told her out of my fanny and so she did the whole 'girls have fannys, boys have willys' thing on repeat.

To me that all seems ok but I'm doubting myself now as she'll be talking about it at pre school and I wonder if teachers etc will be at what I've said or the fact she's on with me whilst I'm changing tampons etc. It's ok isn't it?

When I was very little I asked my mum what sanitary towels were for, she muttered something vague about blood and bleeding. Seemed a good idea to me. So the next time I fell over and had a bloody knee I hobbled upstairs and found a warm ,soft, fluffy wrap for my sore bit. Couldn't work out how to fasten it securely as I wasn't very good at knots so just held it on and went down to where my mum and her friend were having a cup of tea.

It must be a regional thing, but fanny isn't the sort of word you'd want to hear young children saying. It's crude where I am, same sort of level as the words minge, knob and shag.

But yes, I think you should be as factual as you can.

Definitely tell her all the facts! I didn't get told anything about periods other than they start when you're older.... in my head I thought when you're in you're twenties or something. My mum is a MASSIVE prude and I was off school sick when we had sex ed. It was fucking terrifying when I started my period at 12 and didn't know why blood was coming out of me!! I thought I was seriously unwell!! Haha! I will be telling my DD all the facts!

Perfectly reasonable to teach children the facts of life in response to their own curiosity. Except for the tummy bit. Your choice if you want to use the word fanny with a young child (I wouldn't), but tummy is just wrong. Tummy means either stomach or the area vaguely around the abdomen. Neither has anything to do with periods. If you don't like uterus for children then womb is also accurate.

DD always laughs when she overhears people telling their children that babies grow in the mummy's tummy because it sounds like the mummy ate the baby!

I think it's fine. Have taught mine the cold hard facts since as early as I can remember! All correct terminology as well. It makes it easier in the long run

I think it's fine. My 4 year old always follows me into the loo and I've explained periods to her although she did have a phase of asking me loudly in public loos weather I was having a wee, a poo or a period 😱

I told my daughter about periods when she was 6 as it came up in conversation. I never knew about them myself so had a shock when they started at 10. I didn't know what the fuck was happening to me.
Luckily I did tell her as she started hers at 9 and was completely relaxed about it. I didn't make a big fuss speaking about it so she felt comfortable telling me.

I had a great aunt Fanny. Lovely name

Fanny is what I grew up. I do t go in for calling it a frou frou or whatever.

Is 'arm' grown up? Or 'leg'? What's 'grown up' about vagina?

What I can say is that abusers love the fact that children aren't given the words they need to explain what's happening to them - it makes the abusers life a huge amount easier to have 'innocent' children who can't say 'vagina.'

fink true! Dd rehashes how she got in my tummy by saying 'I was really small and you put me in your mouth and I went into your tummy'

@ceeveebee love the pillow thing. I'm taking that one.

Thanks!

As horrible as it is to write about it. Surely a child saying 'he touched my would still be able to understand?

To sparrowhawk

Fanny is fine where I'm from,it's on the same level as 'bum.'

OP you did the right thing.

If you're old enough to ask the question, you're old enough to deserve a proper answer.

But I wouldn't use "fanny". It's on a level with cock and dick in most people's vocabulary.

Not necessarily Red. If the word is 'flower' or 'minnie' or some such then an adult might not listen or think that the children is talking about some toy. 'Vagina' is what the thing is actually called! So don't prevent the child from having the basic control of being able to name their own body.

Having a child call their vagina/penis a fanny/Mary/foof/willy/widge/bobbin shouldn't automatically be linked with abuse.

Let's not go off on a tangent.

True sparrowhawk but a fannys a fanny no?

I think fannys ok where I'm from but my family can be quite sweary and I was calling my sister a twat from about age 7/8 I'll have to check with someone outside the family!!

What I don't get is the persistence of 'tummy' instead of 'womb' or, if one prefers, 'uterus'. Completely different organs with completely different purposes.

My dc knew from early on that the womb prepares cushions every month, made partly of blood, for an egg to burrow into and develop into a baby if the egg was fertilised. If the egg didn't meet a sperm or burrow in to start turning into a baby, the blood cushions needed to go out of the womb so there could be fresh ones next time. And that was a period.

Yes I told my kid all about female biology some time ago - we were reading about wees and poos from an usbourne book anyway.
I always think of the reason the samaritans got started and think girls should be prepped asap!

But I wouldn't use "fanny". It's on a level with cock and dick in most people's vocabulary

It really isn't depending where you live. As OP has used it with a child I imagine she lives somewhere where it's not seen as hard core swearing.

Completely agree with ' if they're old enough to ask you should answer' though.

I just didn't want to confuse her with a big biology lesson I guess.

I told my DDs about periods, they thought it was hilarious . I don't think they believed me. Bleeding from your privates every month...hahaha. I think I need to raise it again at some point and explain it all again.....

I don't think you're understanding what I'm saying at all m4rday.

'Willy' is practically a universal term in the UK - everyone understands it. But there are very few well understood terms to for vagina - and in some cases even grown women don't know the difference between a vulva and a vagina. Denying people language is a major way of keeping them weak and preventing children from naming parts of their body implies that those parts are dirty and embarrassing in some way - that hardly encourages them to talk about them if they need to. As an abuse survivor I feel very strongly about it.