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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect baby group to be open during the holidays

160 replies

PeggyPatchandPoppy · 17/07/2017 21:22

I live in the countryside and I'm fairly isolated. I have a newish baby and enjoyed going to baby group 3 days a week. I didn't particularly have any friends there but enjoyed the process of going somewhere different to the village shop and talking to different people.
The groups finish this week because it's the end of term. That means that me and DD have no where to go to interact with other parents. The library clubs have always stopped for half term so we are really stuck for things to do.
I know there are reasons the clubs can't run during term time E.g. Parents have to older children they need to do activities with. Am I being unreasonable in thinking they could keep at least one club a week going?

OP posts:
adifferentnameforthis · 17/07/2017 23:45

I completely agree! And my paid for groups stop too. I've offered to volunteer but they've said no. I'm dreading the next 6 weeks, it feels really isolating

BackforGood · 17/07/2017 23:46

Belfast has explained it well, but, if you really think you can't manage 6 weeks without a group, then you will have to go round everybody this week, collect their numbers and form a WhatsApp group, or, start a closed FB group and give everyone a note of it's name and ask them to join, and then those that want to can meet up in each other's houses, or meet in a park or whatever suitable place there is near you.

ExplodedCloud · 18/07/2017 00:42

And on a further note, in September, ask if you can volunteer with any of the groups. I'm rubbish at social stuff but committees were very keen to get new people and with a veneer of being 'official' I was able to chat. It's like joining the PTA at school in terms of meeting people.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 18/07/2017 00:59

Whilst I feel your pain, and I do get it - I well remember the endless monotony of the baby days.

There is a part of me that is screaming this is a website BY parents, FOR parents. You didn't have to have a child. there's a really sad thread on here about someone who can't conceive.

I find threads that read "ug, I hate the holidays" "me too, can't wait til they go back to school" just horrible.

Did you not choose to have a child?

Sorry, not trying to be horrible, but it upsets me so much when parents complain about having to be - um - parents. What did you think it was going to be????

Yes, it's tedious. Yes, it's boring. But don't you love them to distraction? You're angry you have to be in charge of your child? Threads like this do my head in!

My bad. I work in primary schools,and loads of parents like you are not going to receive the break/support they rely on for 6 weeks. I worry so much for those children.

Original poster
PeggyPatchandPoppy · 18/07/2017 06:09

KeepServingDrinks
How dare you be as rude and assumptious to accuse me of not wanting my child because I want to take her to baby group! You have no idea about how wanted she is or if we had fertility problems.
I'm angry to be in charge of my child? No I am a first time mother who sometimes feels overwhelmed and would like to be around other mothers for an hour or two a week. I don't need support. I enjoy support.
You work in a primary school? I'm head of year in a primary school. So what's your point there?

OP posts:
TheLegendOfBeans · 18/07/2017 06:12

Keep

"I worry so much for those children.

I worry so much for the parents: groups like this are a lifeline for those feeling overwhelmed, those who basically need reassurance they're "doing it right" from other mums", those who have no family or help in the area, those who just want someone to talk to.

Your post reeks of melodrama and uses a serious - yet irrelevant for this thread - issue to make a completely missed point.

Wring your hands elsewhere.

Saiman · 18/07/2017 06:13

The groups will be dead in the summer. Most people wont attend. So even if they are open, there won't be many there.

BertieBotts · 18/07/2017 06:21

KeepServing obviously doesn't have children...

TheLegendOfBeans · 18/07/2017 06:22

Bertie

The first sentence infers they do, making the whole post even more stupid.

ImAFurchester · 18/07/2017 06:25

KeepServing

Wow. Have all the Biscuit

To the OP: no YANBU. This does my head in too. I'm in SE London and everything shuts. 6 weeks looming with nothing to do with my toddler....argh.

I offered to volunteer myself but they said no one would come in the holidays!

AceholeRimmer · 18/07/2017 06:35

This didn't bother me as I have DP so never went much anyway, but I imagine as a single parent it does get lonely. It would be great if some of the parents alternated weeks having everyone round their house.

bookwormnerd · 18/07/2017 06:43

They usually close as those who have older children are looking after them and they cant attend with the older ones so groups dont have enough people. Look at children centres, they wont run play group but most have fun sessions or trips on over summer. Im shy but when my oldest was little i went on netmums and to the meet a mum section. I met a mum on there i still talk to and meet up with a lot. Going to park also helps. Look at museums to, they will have loads of fun stuff on for children. If you look around local area you will find there is still stuff on, just not under label of play group

tinypop4 · 18/07/2017 06:49

Yabu to expect them to continue when they are run by volunteers who have their own children to look after in many cases. Yanbu to feel frustrated though- I often feel the same when at home with toddler number 2, and felt the same when dd was little. It's hard to keep them going but the usually better weather means you can hit the parks to fill the time!

InDubiousBattle · 18/07/2017 06:55

not trying to be horrible

Yes you are.

tinypop4 · 18/07/2017 06:55

Keep wtf? Of course op wants to look after her child and isn't angry that she has to look after her. What a load of shit. Everyone benefits from some interaction especially in this baby and toddler stages, where lets face it, even if you love them to distraction which most parents do, they're not all that communicative or exciting. Op, cast aside that shitty comment.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 18/07/2017 06:57

YABU to moan they are not running when you don't volunteer at any.

To an extent I do agree with Keep. There will be a barrage of threads now it's the summer holidays where people moan they have to look after their own children, spend money etc. It's like it comes as a shock to many that there is some actual parenting to be done. So many chidren are seen as a chore rather than a joy.

NerrSnerr · 18/07/2017 06:59

Keep you do realise the OP is looking after her child when at the toddler groups? She won't be leaving them there and going off to the pub! What a horrible post. Just because someone wants to spend time with other people as well as their children does not mean they don't want their children. I can only imagine you were trying to be unkind.

OP, I really feel for you, we're lucky that our local groups in the library and community centre keep running, they're a lifeline for me with a toddler and a baby.

HoldBackTheRain · 18/07/2017 07:01

YABU for complaining when you don't volunteer. My baby group doesn't run in holidays, so those of us who can organise other stuff and invite people along or just set up playdates.You're going three times a week. Try giving something back, it's not hard

To think I was offended on OP's behalf by this little gem on page 1. And then along came Keepserving !

OP, it's good that most people here understand how you feel. I was really lucky when my son was a baby/toddler because we used to go to Norfolk in the holidays to my nan and grandads bungalow and we really looked foward to it. If I had been in London I would have been at a loss as to what to do for the 6 weeks summer holidays when the playgroups shut down. Some posters forget that August is also the time many families go on holiday themselves, so not only are the usual playgroups not up and running, but friends with babies are also away.

I agree with the posters who have suggested trying to get together with others in the same situation. And as for some of the other views on here, laugh at the sanctimonious shite that some people come out with. We all have different opinions, but some people just love to write theirs in an antagonistic way, the silly buggers.

Original poster
PeggyPatchandPoppy · 18/07/2017 07:01

Rainbow I offered to have it at my house? Can you volunteer and take your baby along as well? She's 12 weeks so I might be a bit preoccupied.
I have never ever said she is a chore. You are projecting on to me. I said I enjoy interacting with other parents.

OP posts:
user1498911470 · 18/07/2017 07:02

It's just the way it is, most things are run by volunteers with children themselves or by staff who work term time only because the interest isn't there as much in the summer holidays.

kaytee87 · 18/07/2017 07:05

keep do shut up. Op takes her baby to mother & baby groups as it provides an outing and a bit of interaction with other adults. Like nearly everyone who's been on maternity leave or is a sahp. It's not about not parenting your child, you're still parenting your child at the groups!
You clearly don't have a clue and just wanted to give op a kicking.

I'd second inviting them to your house. A class we go to on a Monday was cancelled yesterday so I invited the other mums & babies to my house and we had lemonade and biscuits outside while the babies played with the toys I put out. Was a nice morning.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 18/07/2017 07:06

Yeah it's shit OP . But they are all volunteers so not
Much you can do really

Can you be brace and create a what's app with any other lost Mums and do summer park plays ??

Notso · 18/07/2017 07:09

OP do you have a children and family information service? Ours hands out a questionnaire asking children's ages etc then gives out a list of suitable activities taking place during school holidays.

newyorkminute · 18/07/2017 07:10

Long shot, TheLegend, but you're not in Brussels are you? 8 weeks of shut down sounds familiar (although I realise that applies to most of mainland Europe!). I would welcome a meet up (3DS's) once we're free of chicken pox...

BikeRunSki · 18/07/2017 07:14

I bet you're not the only mum at these groups feeling like this.

Suggest that you meet at a soft play centre next week. Take it from there.