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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don't want to think about silly things like that

76 replies

WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 11:39

We have a problem in our relationship, dp seems to think he's super intelligent and can't be thinking about "silly things" like what time to have dinner tonight.

So as not to dripfeed I have done all the cooking for the past 4 weeks! He hasn't done any.

The conversation went like this

Me "I'll make dinner and you make breakfast"

Him "ok, what're you going to make?"

Me "a roast"

Him "as long as it doesn't take over the time for our game"

Me "well, shall I make it for 5:30?"

Him snapping and getting angry "oh I don't know, I don't want to think about silly things like that"

Me "what do you mean? We were just discussing it..."

Him "I mean me, I don't want to think about those silly things"

I'm so annoyed, he is so self centred, anything I say is usually ignored and sighed off until he's ready to have a long lecture about some political thing and all these ideas he's had! I'm so fed up of it, like he's too important and smart to do anything around here or to even think about any of it!

Aibu to feel this way? Given what he said there, or did I read it wrong...

OP posts:
SelfObsessionHoney · 16/07/2017 11:42

That would piss me right off
I also wouldn't cook him anything if discussing what time to eat is so beneath him.

Justhadmyhaircut · 16/07/2017 11:42

If his tea is such a silly thing then let the lazy fucker make his own. .

You are enabling him by cooking every night imo. .

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 11:44

I have to cook for ds, if I don't cook then nothing gets made at all!

Dp is so unappreciative lately of anything, he doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say and responds with things like that. It's just pathetic

OP posts:
TheStoic · 16/07/2017 11:45

Well you know how to respond when he asks where his dinner is.

Or...lather, rinse, repeat.

URaflutteringcunt · 16/07/2017 11:47

Just do enough for you and the kids. When he asks where his dinner is say "sorry, I didnt want to think about silly things like that"

ilovesooty · 16/07/2017 11:47

If it's happening "lately" would it be worth exploring his recent lack of respect at a time when you aren't talking about things like dinner?

missiondecision · 16/07/2017 11:52

He sounds tedious.
Mirroring could work. If only to amuse you. When he talks tell him you don't have time for his clap trap silly convo.
Or a sensible conversation about how belittling it feels when he brushes you aside.
What is the "lately" perspective ?
Is he stressed ? Have others things been different lately. Yanbu btw.

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 11:52

@ilovesooty I've mentioned it many times. Many many times.

One time it was brought up and I really wouldn't let it drop, his response was basically that bringing up anything from the past ruins the relationship now, so everything has to be forgotten about. Wouldn't even discuss anything, wouldn't apologise, nothing.

He's just asked me to sort something out on my computer that's he's using! I've replied "no, I don't want to think about silly things like that"

Him shouting "this isn't sill though is t, this allows me to work, why are you being rude like that (insert my name)"

And that's how it goes, ok for him, not on for me, I've told him I'll be cooking me and ds food as it's how he wants to behave

OP posts:
missiondecision · 16/07/2017 11:55

Let him worry about his own silly things.

GinaFordCortina · 16/07/2017 11:55

He's a miserable bastard isn't he.

dh someone needs to think if these things, are you saying it's ok for me but beneath you?

And he'd make his own fucking dinner

ilovesooty · 16/07/2017 11:56

I see. If he isn't willing to communicate effectively and insists on continuing to behave like this perhaps you need to give serious consideration to whether the relationship is worth continuing.

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 11:58

@GinaFordCortina he can be miserable, but mostly it's selfishness mixed wth thinking he's oh so fucking smart! He's so smart he can't possibly do the laundry, or the child care or play with ds! He doesn't even play with da because what ds wants to do is too fucking stupid for him.

He's making me angry, walking around the place in his pants and t shirt, smirking at me while he brings his own mess out from the bedroom,it's a smirk as if to say "feeling happy yet?" Because he's completely over it all! 😡

OP posts:
Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 12:00

@ilovesooty I've been having these thoughts because now I've noticed that I'm surrounded by toxic people a lot!

I have dp doing this and a friend who spent the day Thursday telling me I've put on weight because my bum is bigger (she wasn't this polite) and then telling me she's going to look for new hairstyles for me rather than the "piece of shit" in her words, that I have now!

OP posts:
SittingAround1 · 16/07/2017 12:00

Ask him what's wrong because he seems to have changed and you don't like it.

ExplodedCloud · 16/07/2017 12:02

Basically he's not interested in you or family stuff and wishes to exist in his own little single person world.

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 12:02

@ExplodedCloud precisely that

OP posts:
RunRabbitRunRabbit · 16/07/2017 12:04

What's the point of being married to him? He sounds like a cock.

Stop doing his laundry! Stop cooking for him! Doing those things is telling him he's right and it's fine, even if your words say it is not OK, your actions say "Carry on dear."

BouncyHedgehog · 16/07/2017 12:04

washedout Bloody hell, I'd rather be single with no friends than have a "D"P and friend like that. What utter pricks.

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 12:05

@RunRabbitRunRabbit yea this is a good point, a very good point indeed! He acts like this and it's all done for him still... or it was

OP posts:
Bumdishcloths · 16/07/2017 12:05

Re: the 'friend'

What a bitch.

Theducksarenotmyfriends · 16/07/2017 12:06

He's a knob who needs to read up on the 'mental load' if he's so fucking smart and do his fair share. Throw some rad fem discourse in his face next time he bleats on about 'silly things' and tell him to educate himself! I'd refuse to do anything for him until he's prepared to act like an adult and an equal in this partnership. I'm furious on your behalf!!

Original poster
WashedOutFromWork · 16/07/2017 12:08

@Theducksarenotmyfriends regarding the mental load, that's all mine, all of it, he wouldn't read it, not smart enough for him, he'll toss it aside as if it's nothing! Makes me furious

OP posts:
Theducksarenotmyfriends · 16/07/2017 12:11

How amazing for him to be in such a position of privilege to toss it aside as nothing. He clearly lacks the intellectual capability to even begin to understand it. I'm sure he'd start understanding it if you kicked him out and the poor love had to make his own dinner, do 50% child care, wash his own bloody socks (in short, be an adult). He needs a maid and a time travel machine to the 1950s.

Show him this thread op :-)

GinaFordCortina · 16/07/2017 12:14

You realise he thinks you're stupid yes?
Ltb

thereallochnessmonster · 16/07/2017 12:15

She's no friend. I'd have asked her to leave the minute she said something like that.

He's so smart he can't possibly do the laundry, or the child care or play with ds! He doesn't even play with da because what ds wants to do is too fucking stupid for him.

And this? What a waste of space. Is there ANYTHING good in your relationship? He sounds like an arrogant, selfish tosser.

Flowers for you

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