Friends child nearly run over...

[LovelyBath77]

"I think he's learned his lesson now' she told me. He's 7. Ran into the road at a crossing by the school, after pressing the button but not waiting for the green man. Apparently she was 'chatting away as usual' to someone. Wasn't holding his hand. Car was driven my school staff who did an emergency stop, little boy was flung onto the car bonnet and into the road he is very lucky to be OK. Staff ran them to the hospital to get him checked over and he was fine. Must have been pretty scary for him though.

I don't get my friend's reaction though. I would hold their hand at that age, at a crossing, my DS 8 does that with me. But is was all about him being a livewire and having learned his lesson. AIBU?

She sounds irresponsible. Having been the driver when a child ran out in front of me it is an awful experience.

"I think he's learned his lesson now' she told me.
Who told you?

Have copy and pasted this from a longer facebook post?

I feel for the driver.

At 7 the child should have some road sense without his hand needing to be held, he obviously hasn't been taught any by his parents.

How awful. She probably feels shit and doesn't need you to judge her.

Also, I don't always hold my DS' hand at the school crossing. Mostly I do, but if I wasnt holding his hand it still wouldn't occur to me that he'd run into the the road. 7 is old enough to know road safety.

I hope the member of staff in the car is OK.

I nearly knocked a child down yesterday. He shot out on a scooter from behind a parked car. It was a 60mph road and I was slowing down for the junction. It gave me quite a fright. Luckily my brakes are excellent and I managed to stop in time. The area is not an ideal place for children to ride scooters anyway.

She told me "I think he's learned his lesson now" Sorry if that wasn't clear.

A 7 yo should be able to wait for the green man. All of my DC, my DN did that from 4. He sounds like a terror and provided there were no SEN issues involved he may well have learned his lesson.

She told me "I think he's learned his lesson now" Sorry if that wasn't clear.

But who is she, the friend you mention at the end of the post, the car driver, the mother?

Well obviously YANBU or else he wouldn't have nearly been run over, nobody is going to say otherwise

It sounds like the sort of thing you say to try to downplay your shock etc. I wouldn't judge her harshly. At 7 I would expect most children to know to stop, so it isn't that irresponsible not to be holding hands.

JustadaftProfessor

she is the OP's friend, the mother of the child.

Ah thank you Derelict.

At 6, I was cycling miles along country lanes on my own. Scary to think of it now, looking at my 5yr old, but I would not expect to have to hold a 7yr old's hand at a crossing like that.

I wouldn't necessarily hold onto my 7 yr old whilst waiting at a crossing. I would also often be chatting away to someone. I think your friend is probably still in shock, unlikely she's actually just brushed it off as oh well he won't do that again.

I wouldn't read anything into her reaction, and I don't think you should be judging her. It sound horrible for all concerned.

She's the friend, the mother.

I think you are being unreasonable she's not saying she wasn't upset or didn't care just that hopefully he has learnt from the ordeal and will take roads seriously from now on.

I think the OP's post is clear, not sure why there's any confusion.

I wouldn't necessarily hold a 7 year old hand but I would be watching them. She made a mistake. Most likely downplaying it because she feels shit, I would assume

I don't get why you're judging her reaction. This is probably haunting her and maybe she isn't able to articulate that just now. Maybe she's playing it down to comfort herself? She probably feels awful.

I hold my 6 year old's hand because he has SEN but I don't necessarily think all 6/7 year olds need to be held on to.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't think to always hold my 7 year old's hand at a crossing. 7 is quite old enough to k ow not to run into a road. Also, if I was with my friend I would be chatting too. The only difference is I would have a nervous breakdown if my child got hit by a car!

I hold my DS's hand, because when he was four I let him cross at the green man without holding hands and he ran ahead of me. A driver didn't see him and jumped the red light. She had to swerve across the road to miss him. God, I feel sick just thinking about it.

Possibly because she tends to do this, doesn;t seem to take responsibility for things and blames it on others. it shocked me and if it was me I'd feel terrible about it.

So I hold his hand just because it's harder for a bad driver not to see an adult.

I hold my Ds (8) hand because i know he may do something like this, possibly, just in case.

I would expect a 7yo to be able to wait at the crossing without the need to hold hands. I work at a special school and have 5/6/7 yo with ASD and similar complex needs who I expect to be able to wait sensibly at the crossing for the green man - we encourage independence and discourage holding hands for students who are able to wait and this is one of the big things we teach in Autumn term when we start walks in the community with all our KS1 pupils.

A 3yo yes, I would definitely be holding hands but I think a typical 7yo is old enough to learn and understand basic road safety and use a pedestrian crossing safely and sensibly. Obviously there should still be a level of supervision but I don't think this sounds like the Mum's fault and you sound very judged.

Shame the driver can't sue the mother really. But she is covering but really how battered does the child have to be before she teaches him with discipline rather than allowing him to explore the world dangerous or not!!