Friends child nearly run over...

[LovelyBath77]

"I think he's learned his lesson now' she told me. He's 7. Ran into the road at a crossing by the school, after pressing the button but not waiting for the green man. Apparently she was 'chatting away as usual' to someone. Wasn't holding his hand. Car was driven my school staff who did an emergency stop, little boy was flung onto the car bonnet and into the road he is very lucky to be OK. Staff ran them to the hospital to get him checked over and he was fine. Must have been pretty scary for him though.

I don't get my friend's reaction though. I would hold their hand at that age, at a crossing, my DS 8 does that with me. But is was all about him being a livewire and having learned his lesson. AIBU?

You are being over the top holding your 8 year olds hand crossing the road. How can your child learn about road safety and using crossings if you are always holding his hand, he won't look/ check for himself if he knows you are doing it for him. At that age children should be trusted to walk beside you and not to run across the road. Sorry if that sounds judgey but it's no more so than your op.

All things being equal a seven year old should know not to run out into the road.

Well OP, what exactly is your point? The child got run over, fortunately he is ok, and his DM's comment is spot on: he certainly has learned his lesson, I doubt he will ever cross a road without looking or waiting for an adult for the rest of his life.

I have an older child who is capable of walking himself to school with crossing, but in common with the majority of posters on the recent thread about what age to let children walk to school alone, it seems most people should think a child of 8 would still need support with this.

Over time, I have got my children to lead me through crossings etc, getting them to decide when to cross, pretending I am an old lady who needs them to get me across and yes I do hold their hand just in case at age 8 (not older) as they are my responsibility should anything happen, and it is a busy road.

This has worked well for us, children do take risks, in fact their brain develops so that they don't perceive risk like adult do, for quite a while.

Basically, my point is that she was wrong to blame her child for it and maybe should be a bit more responsible. I'll leave this now as it seems i'm alone in thinking this. Thank you for your comments though.

I don't hold my 7yr old and 5yr olde hands to cross the road unless it's a strange very busy road. I let the 7yr old run off ahead to the park by his school we need to give them bits of independence otherwise they will never learn how to behave around roads etc

You are coming across as a little sanctimonious - you're a better parent and it wouldn't happen to your dc.

I understand your shock at the accident but try to show this mother some empathy. I'm sure she is riddled by guilt by what she could/should have done without others criticising.

You're probably right about me being a bit judge about this. I do judge people letting kids run into the road, not holding hands, it is the main cause of death for your children and something to be taken seriously.

I'm failing to see in your post where she's blaming him. She's right he would have learned his lesson and I'm sure she'll be a bit more aware next time too. I'd expect a 7 year old to know about road safety. Canning ask why not older than 8? Do they just switch on at 8 or something?

She hardly let him do it

She could have prevented it, though.

Because she kept saying, he's like this, he's learnt his lesson now.

it is the main cause of death for your children
Surely malaria is the main cause of death for children?

I hold my 7yo's hand. Do people really not? He's still so little to me, and easily distracted. Plus people drive like fucking maniacs.

I can trust my nearly 5yr old not to run out into the road, I usually hold her hand but that's because she'd dawdle across the road if I didn't.

Your being way ott holding an 8yr olds hand to cross a road.

I don't think the main death in children is being hit by a car either, where have you heard this?

A 7 year old shouldn't need to have his hand held and he probably has learned a lesson. Should she she be wailing and beating her chest with guilt? She was probably scared to death when it happened.

7 is definitely old enough to be able to cross a rode on your own!

She could have prevented it, though.

That's a bit of a shitty way to look at it when it's your friend. I'm sure she feels horrendous over it and is downplaying her feelings on it.

I think the OP's post is clear, not sure why there's any confusion.

It was perfectly clear, to all but one person seemingly. 🙄

I can't see why it's unreasonable for a NT 7/8 year old to wait patiently at the lights. I wouldn't be expecting to hold a kid's hand/have to watch them like a hawk at that age.

I think it's road traffic accidents not being hit as a pedestrian

Interesting that responses are so different on the thread about would you let your child walk to school. Yes it is the main cause of death in young children, thought people knew that. In UK anyway.

Road deaths in general perhaps. Biggest problem in teens / teens is being on their phones apparently and walking into the road. Does;t bear thinking about.

Wow I'm glad I dont have friends like you OP.

Oh me too, Louise, a horrible friend I am.

Here's link to thread about children walking to school, very different to replies on here.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/2683591-What-age-can-children-walk-to-school-alone