Disgraced myself on a work night out

[ethanrayne]

Can anyone share their tales of similar drunken foolishness to make me feel better???

I can't remember most of details but according to a co worker vomiting and falling asleep in bar were involved 😳

I feel quite restrained that aggressive pool playing has been my only sin.

Not me but a colleague. I repeat not me. And it is entirely true. At an afternoon work Xmas party involving art and craft games (yes I know wtf) she smuggled a bottle of vodka in and drank all of it over the event.
The last task was working together to make a plaster of Paris balloon: she decided it would be more fun to attempt to plaster her pierced nipple and breast. Promptly lopped it out at the table asking everyone to have a go. Cue amused titters and looks of utter horror. She was led away by a friend, saying it was ok people could touch as she had had implants.

Later that night she offered my friend's married boss oral sex on the dance floor of a London club. This involved kneeling, rubbing her face in his crotch and attempting to unzip his flies with her teeth.

She recalled none of it the next day except he fact that one of breasts had lumps of clay on.

When I was clerking in a firm as a youngster, we had a pre-Christmas do in the office (different teams had had lavish evenings in restaurants, but the whole firm gathered in the office for this "fun" cheapo boozy do). I didn't drink as I was on some kind of course of meds at the time.

Jesus, it was a terrible night. Lots of banter that turned nasty, body fluids of all kinds, things smashed up (personal effects of the lovely secretary pool smashed up by lawyers). One senior associate was sexually assaulted by her taxi driver afterwards.

My current workplace's parties are not nearly as bad, but I stay sober.

Work: doing tequila shot at the bar and throwing it straight up on top of the bar
Meeting OH's family for the first time: flat out drunk at family bbq telling his whole family how much I love him and we're gunna have a baby together and call it noah and then throwing up in his aunts toilet it's a funny tale now, but god knows why he stayed with me after that

OP we've all been there

I said this to my DD whilst sitting on a busy commuter train, when she was describing the previous night's drunken antics of her uni friend.
"Oh well, we've all been there" says I.
"Well 'I' most certainly haven't!' said she, in a shocked and morally superior tone.

The man sitting opposite almost spat his coffee on me.

My brother does events in a nightclub near me and I've been chucked out more times than I can remember due to drunkenness. Nearly every single time I go I've thrown up or fallen over/lost my belongings. I used to work there too so I'd get grief from them about it the next weekend. Just laugh it off and pretend you can't remember. They'll just be glad it wasn't them!

Oh the shame, been there done it. Do you have any of their phone numbers so you can text taking the piss out of yourself, might clear the air before Monday.

Accidentally started a riot about 20 years ago. Loads arrested, made the front page of the local paper. Didn't remember until some one showed me the headline on Monday morning.

Dances with otters wins it. I couldn't say all of the stupid shit I've done after a few sherbets, it'd be very identifying.

Do t worry too much op; they'll have seen much worse.

There are three things that spring to mind here:

1. You have all made me feel MUCH better not least because I have never shat myself (whilst on a night out)
2. A night out a few Halloween's ago with my DP and going to one of his bosses' houses for a H party. Got given sambuca's (rarely do shots, don't even like sambuca). Am dressed as a devil with horns, short black net tutu, black basque (looked pretty good although I do say so myself). Got fuckin' hammered in a very short space of time. A basque should have a risk assessment as I was SO pissed I (apparently, thankfully drink-induced amnesia prevents me remembering). The party invitees included the manager and his wife's own son (17 or so) who must have so enjoyed seeing me rolling around in the garden with my boobs come loose from my basque - probably one of the best nights of his life (I like to think I've contributed to someone's enjoyment of the evening at least...)
3. Recently joined an organisation where there's a fair amount of going out. Swore I'd go light but ended up having many many drinks and apparently I just 'disappeared' during the night... as my Manager told me the net day... Other than that though OP, I just brazened it out and no one's mentioned it since. Thankfully there was no puking on colleagues or shitting all over myself, so something to be proud of there! I can remember not far from my home, throwing up in my hands in the back of the taxi but no idea if the taxi driver clocked it or if anything happened about it.....

Folk should also think about that not only is it that people don't 'going out with the intention of getting pie-eyed' - those of us who suffer from anxiety, that's a bit of a downfall for me because there's no tablet I've been given yet (from the Dr's) that 'takes the edge off' like alcohol. Sadly, I don't have a period of time on a night out where I think crikey I've had quite a bit too uch, I'll stop now - I can go from really happy, enjoying myself to ---- back at home waking up the next day, NO idea what went on between...). It don't WANT to get pissed out of my mind but there doesn't seem to be a 'still conscious and able to make decisions before it gets too serious' phase and that's the difficulty. I should really stick to 'two drinks and that's it'.

Some boring fuckers on 'ere! This thread is hilarious. "Shat into his special Scottish socks" is one of the greatest sentences ever crafted.

I saw a senior manager get very drunk and leery at a Christmas party when I was much younger. I lost all respect for him after that and I never drank more than one small glass at any work related do in all the years afterwards.
I think it's even trickier now with the advent of socia media where pictures of your worst behaviours can be posted for everyone to laugh at plus googled by a future employer.
If you enjoy getting drunk to the point of vomiting, definitely don't do it whilst on a works do with your colleagues. Stick to your closest mates instead.

You fell asleep in the bar? That's a very very good thing, it means that at your most drunk you were all passive and generally harmless (obvious safety issues aside) rather than a fight, flirty, sad (or mixture of the three all at the same time)

Such a funny thread. Just goes to show how many people are unfortunately overcome with minor food poisoning leading to vomiting and minor mental confusion on works nights out!!!!!

My first job in a sales office years ago and I tried to keep up with all the hard drinking sales team at the bar drinking a blue drink called AfterShock.

After a few hours I collapsed under the cigarette machine crying that I 'd gone blind. I remember two office girls kneeling on the floor saying "Just open your eyes"
Luckily everything else from that evening is blank

No social media thank god, although I suppose someone could have taken a picture of me sleeping

Pizza is on it's way as I now feel able to eat. I have text boss and colleague who have mildly reassured me - surely they would tell me???

I never go to work dos (unless I can leave right after the sober bit) but I used to have a habit of waking up in odd places. A friend's bath, a different friend's trampoline, three towns over from where I started, a nice bush with a judgemental cat staring at me, another friend's housemate's bed (he was naked. I was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans), and 'coming to' mid conversation in an inner-city McDonald's.

I'm told that when I'm drunk I mostly mainline sweeties, chatter away happily and give elaborate compliments, so there's that, I suppose.

One of my colleagues got pissed and snogged the IT guy in full view of all of us. She then stayed back from getting on the tube with the rest of us and went off with him. She had a boyfriend she was living with at the time.

It was all forgotten quite quickly.

Oh Ethan. I have lots of sympathy for you with The Terrible Fear today - it's mainly physical and will feel much heater tomorrow. Have done my fair share of this kind of embarrassing stuff. Can't disclose full story coz still at same employer but offering out a bouncer for a fight, falling flat on my face in a theatre, calling a colleague to collect me coz I thought it was super late (was 8pm), heckling a talent show full of proud families of the performers (which colleagues had organised), sitting in a cab on top of another passenger who I had not realised was in it already. I'm usually quite shy but when drunk think I'm HILARIOUS. I'm not. The list goes on. Had to call a colleague at 5am when I woke with a horrific hangover to ask should I resign and was I that bad. Am shuddering thinking about it. Anyway, given up drinking wine at work dos and don't drink anything for at least first 3 hours. Just go in, apologise privately to people who matter/helped and don't mention it too much. A quick "oh I know, don't!" usually stops conversation.

Lots of times.
My first job when I was 16 there were some people smoking weed, wanting to appear a bit cool and older I had some, I'd also had a lot to drink and ended up spewing everywhere.

Another time my manager had lined up 5 shots along the bar for me and a few others, not being able to handle sambucca I vommed over the bar and got kicked out.

And once after a few too many I was dancing on the bar, probably trying to re-enact that scene from Coyote Ugly or something, when I slipped, cracked my bum off the bar and was signed off work with a broken coccyx

Fortunately I'm a sahm now and the only way I can embarrass myself now is by mum dancing to CBeebies heme tunes.

Christmas do last year. Cried. Told senior partner I fancied him. Fell backwards off a tall bar stool. Cried again. Good times

To the smug sounding people wondering why people feel the need to drink too much; for me I have such crippling social anxiety with regards to eating or drinking in front of people that the only way I could possibly manage to attend work do's was by drinking enough alcohol to stop my hands from noticeably shaking.
No one ever had a clue that I found the do's torture as to all appearances I'm very sociable and confident. Of course, after enough to stop the panicky anxiety the off switch is well and truly off!
Nowadays I'm SE so not an issue. In retrospect, I wish I'd had the confidence to not go out, but there's an expectation that you will attend eg. the Christmas do.
So, well done all you who can wander around with your lemonade and sneer at the people who've had too much to drink. Bully for you

Parked my car on a side street near train station (company car) got on train, met work colleagues in next town. Pissed, threw up, slept in hotel lobby.

Travelled back on train day after, thought car had been stolen. Called it in. Two weeks later, call from local compound to our head office with a massive bill that took me months to pay off.

That is my embarrassing story. 13 yrs ago. We still laugh about it now.

OP, bless you. You will be okay. Front it out.

I have so many of these from my teaching days. I find that people generally understand as long as you're bloody good at your job.

I'd rather a colleague got too drunk once a year than consistently malinger or be unprofessional in the actual workplace.

Was ('secretly') dating a colleague. We were studiously ignoring each other at a works drink up, well, apart from sidling up to each other at the bar and whispering things to each other, while getting drunker and drunker. I got a bit narked with him, drank even more, puked in the sink in the ladies, wept all over another colleague and, when Secret Date tried to placate me, yelled at him that he didn't have to shag me because he was sorry for me...

That is, genuinely, the only time I ever woke up in the morning, shrieked and hid under the duvet... (but it was 20 years ago and I don't care now.)