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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To trust my friend after this and pay her the money

94 replies

LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 12:37

My neighbour mentioned she had seen my friend in the park who was very worried about me, that I was in hospital and had broken my leg. So, I rang her. She sounded relieved I was Ok and she had sent the money etc. I asked what was wrong, I was fine and had not been in hospital. It turned out someone with my first name had been texting her, saying they were in hospital and needed some money put on their pay-as-you go phone.

So, she had done this. Not once but several times. Then, she had given them her bank details! I said, I hadn't done that, I would not ask for money like that. I told her, how could it be my number and she said it had come up with my name on her phone. I had had no class on my mobile or home phone. Then she said she had bills coming out and was hoping I would pay her back. She said the last reply she had given she had asked me if I could get my husband to give money instead.

She didn't seem to believe me that I didn't have anything to do with it, as I adviser her to contact her bank straight away and possibly the police and report the fraud.

I don;t understand why she didn't ring me on my own mobile or home phone number to check. I asked her for the number making the calls, and when she told me I checked online and it was a phone scam, someone saying they were called either Emma or Claire (not my name but for example) and making this message about having a broken leg, stuck in hospital and needing credit. Obviously as my friend had responded, they had then gone on to ask for more.

I felt cross, and sorry for my friend, but I haven't offered to pay back the money, as it wasn't me. I think, she should possibly get it refunded if it is fraud. I also feel cross that she thought I would do that. And distrustful of our friendship.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Whichwayyisup · 13/07/2017 12:41

Oh dear. This is a well known scam and I'm sorry your friend fell for it.

Do you know how much she paid?

NellieFiveBellies · 13/07/2017 12:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BritInUS1 · 13/07/2017 12:44

You shouldn't need to pay her, she has fallen for a scam. She needs to report it to her bank and block the number x

vikingprincess81 · 13/07/2017 12:44

No, it's not your issue. She's been scammed and that's unfortunate, but we're all aware now that scams happen, and people use friends details to make victims hand over the cash. It's not your fault though.

BabsGanoush · 13/07/2017 12:44

Not your problem. And you dont give your bank details to friends, so she was daft doing that.

AshesEmbersFlames · 13/07/2017 12:47

It's not your responsibility. It's a shame she's been scammed but it's nothing to do with you.

19lottie82 · 13/07/2017 12:49

Of course don't give her the money.
It's a shame she was scammed but it's nothing to do with you, you have ZERO responsibility here.

user1493413286 · 13/07/2017 12:49

Ah this happened to one of my friends and she thought it was me but checked with me first and didn't pay it. If she had paid it I would have felt bad but i wouldn't have paid back the money just on the basis of someone taking advantage of having a common name.
If she reports it she might be able to get some money back. I'd agree it's more worrying/strange that she didn't beleive you but perhaps she was embarrassed or upset she'd fallen for a scam

HunterHearstHelmsley · 13/07/2017 12:50

It's absolutely nothing to do with you. Nothing at all. Has she asked you personally for the money?

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 12:53

She did mentioned she had been scammed in the past, something about bank details. Sad She must be naive. I know, i'm not responsible. I didn't realise it was well known. I have been steering clear, to be honest since then as it felt like she thought I was lying when I said it was a scam. She kept saying, but it was you, your name came up on the phone! Argh.

Don't know why she didn't call me back on my real number or home number to check. It had been going on for some time. Weeks, it seems. each time was £20 top ups, she had gone to the shop to pay it. Then they had asked her for her bank details. I thinks at least £60-£80 at that stage.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 12:54

She said her bills were coming out the next day so was hoping I could have paid her back straightaway.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 13/07/2017 12:59

She sounds ripe for the plucking; texting you her bank details because you (or someone she thought was you) asked for it??
And over the course of several weeks she didn't think to call and ask why you needed yet MORE fucking money how you were?
Not your problem.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 13/07/2017 13:02

Dot give her the money. You are not responsible. Tell her to report it to her bank and the police.

I had an email from a friend once, it came from her actual email address, saying she was in Madrid and had had her money, passport etc stolen and could I transfer her £500. It was obviously a scam, the email wasn't written in her style. However I did text her to double check and to warn her her email had been hacked.

Your friend has been conned, which is very sad, but it's not your responsibility.

Samsungtsss · 13/07/2017 13:03

and you are sure she's not scamming you? Just making it up to get some money out of you?

YetAnotherSpartacus · 13/07/2017 13:04

Unless she's scamming you. Just saying.

sleepyhead · 13/07/2017 13:08

Why would she send you top ups for weeks without phoning, visiting you in hospital or at least sending you a card? Hmm

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:09

I don't think so. She has not done anything dodgy before. But I don;t know her all that well. It has made me trust her less. I felt like she thought I was scamming her or something! I offered to call the police for her as was so concerned, and she said she wanted to deal with that herself. She didn't sound like she trusted me.

Horrible these scams aren't they, the affect they have on people. I know to be very wary of things like this and also dodgy emails or calls pretending to be from the bank..or anything dodgy, but naive people or pensioners for example can be so vulnerable.

It's the way she went on with it that worried me!

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:10

Sleepy I know. Weird.

OP posts:
SapphireStrange · 13/07/2017 13:10

Why would she send you top ups for weeks without phoning, visiting you in hospital or at least sending you a card?

Yes, this. Seems really odd for a friend not to say 'Where are you and when can I come and visit?' but to a) send 'you' money and b) mention being worried to a neighbour in a park.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:10

I don't even have a pay as you go phone.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 13/07/2017 13:12

Don't give her a penny. She needs to sort this with her bank and the police as it's fraud.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:12

I think she thought it was to do with being in the hospital. the message said needed the top up, something about the phones not working in the hospital? So she thought she couldn't get through? Oh I don't know. I did say to her never to send money to people on the phone etc, and she could have rang me or my husband at home. Then she said she did wonder why I hadn't asked him for money.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:13

I should explain, the other thing is she is disabled. So I'm not sure if this affected her eyesight or reasoning. And it makes me feel worse.

OP posts:
RideOn · 13/07/2017 13:14

She has been scammed, but must have really believed it and maybe still getting her head round it feels a bit like you owe her, when you really don't.
Don't send her money, maybe just check she has reported it to her bank and as pp said send her links to info on the scam.

19lottie82 · 13/07/2017 13:14

Please don't doubt yourself OP. As PP's keep telling you, you are NOT responsible for this and don't owe her anything (neither does your husband).

I'd keep telling her this, but keep encouraging her to go to the police to report the fraud.