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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To trust my friend after this and pay her the money

94 replies

LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 12:37

My neighbour mentioned she had seen my friend in the park who was very worried about me, that I was in hospital and had broken my leg. So, I rang her. She sounded relieved I was Ok and she had sent the money etc. I asked what was wrong, I was fine and had not been in hospital. It turned out someone with my first name had been texting her, saying they were in hospital and needed some money put on their pay-as-you go phone.

So, she had done this. Not once but several times. Then, she had given them her bank details! I said, I hadn't done that, I would not ask for money like that. I told her, how could it be my number and she said it had come up with my name on her phone. I had had no class on my mobile or home phone. Then she said she had bills coming out and was hoping I would pay her back. She said the last reply she had given she had asked me if I could get my husband to give money instead.

She didn't seem to believe me that I didn't have anything to do with it, as I adviser her to contact her bank straight away and possibly the police and report the fraud.

I don;t understand why she didn't ring me on my own mobile or home phone number to check. I asked her for the number making the calls, and when she told me I checked online and it was a phone scam, someone saying they were called either Emma or Claire (not my name but for example) and making this message about having a broken leg, stuck in hospital and needing credit. Obviously as my friend had responded, they had then gone on to ask for more.

I felt cross, and sorry for my friend, but I haven't offered to pay back the money, as it wasn't me. I think, she should possibly get it refunded if it is fraud. I also feel cross that she thought I would do that. And distrustful of our friendship.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PurplePeppers · 13/07/2017 13:48

Depending in how close you are, I would propose to go to the bank with her. Explain what is happening and protect your account.
She sounds like a quite vulnerable person and needs support IMO.

Re paying... maybe the bank might be able to refund some of it (doubt it but ....).

Bettercallsaul1 · 13/07/2017 13:50

The thing is, OP, the only reason you are involved at all is because your name was chosen by the scammer at random. It could just as easily have been someone else, with a common name, who was mentioned. You are absolutely not liable because someone played a trick, using your name. It is likely your friend/acquaintance had no recourse to compensation - that, unfortunately, is the nature of successful frauds - but that doesn't mean you are liable for her loss! This is a particularly nasty scam which has sewn the seeds of distrust between you as well as cost your friend money.

MipMipMip · 13/07/2017 13:51

TheEmma some systems will show who it's from on a text message - the one my vet's use does. Totally different from their usual number but always says text from xx vet. So if it's a professional set up it could well come up as being from "Sarah" without her knowing it's not the Sarah she knows. It would be on a different message thread but easy to not notice it.

MipMipMip · 13/07/2017 13:53

Sorry for stray apostrophe- blame autocorrect

Hudson10 · 13/07/2017 13:57

Don't pay her a single penny, it's got absolutely nothing to do with you and in no way your fault!!
Yes, it's sad that she got scammed, but that's what it is. A scam. A very well known one as well.
I'd advise her to go to the bank and the police and see what they can do, but there's no way you should be refunding her as it's not your problem. She's the one who fell for it.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 13/07/2017 13:58

Why on earth would she send her bank details? If she was sending you money, there would be no need for her details to be mentioned!

I think there need to be more adverts outlining this kind of fraud.

MagentaRocks · 13/07/2017 13:59

She needs to report this to action fraud.

Italiangreyhound · 13/07/2017 14:10

It's very sad people fall for this type of thing.

She was scammed but she made a mistake by sending money to someone who she thought was you.

You do not owe your friend any money, but I would encourage her to report it.

Italiangreyhound · 13/07/2017 14:13

This may help but depends how she paid, so no idea if it will help!

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/how-to-get-your-money-back-after-a-scam

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/07/2017 14:39

But you wouldn't be paying her back as she didn't send YOU any money? What a weirdo.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 13/07/2017 14:41

Ah, I didn't read about the disability. My MIL has MS and (if she could use a phone and transfer money) would probably have fallen for this.

RoloChocoloco · 13/07/2017 14:47

I think it's sad that she fell for this. Am I right in thinking that you're questioning her friendship as she doesn't believe that you would never scam her in this way?

She probably feels a bit silly for getting taken in and is trying to compensate by looking extra vigilant now and suspicious of you.

I'd try and stay friendly with her as, after all, she thought she was helping you but you are in no way responsible.

ChuffMuffin · 13/07/2017 14:49

This definitely needs reporting to the police. There is no way this is one person doing this, it'll be a group of people sending texts through Google Voice faking their number, probably outside the UK. But if they've sent her their bank details the police should be able to trace the account holder.

Agree with pps that you aren't obligated pay her back, as harsh at it sounds, you are completely innocent in this and she really should have called you first. :(

KatharinaRosalie · 13/07/2017 14:58

was hoping I could have paid her back - back? You never got any money from her in the first place, it really isn't your problem she was scammed.
If someone scams you claiming to be the Queen, will you go to the palace for the refund?

Creampastry · 13/07/2017 15:22

She sounds like she needs help. No need to pay her back. She needs to contact the police.

LexieLulu · 13/07/2017 15:33

She needs to tell the police and her bank ASAP. You can only inform her to do that and hope she realises you're not stealing from her x

TheEmmaDilemma · 13/07/2017 15:52

Ahh that's a good point actually Mip, I have seen that. Thanks for the correction.

Violetcharlotte · 13/07/2017 15:53

I've had that text before too, from someone named Sarah. It was pretty believable, but I didn't send any money as couldn't work out who it was so assumed it was a wrong number. It was only when I got to work someone told me it was a scam! And I like to think I'm pretty savvy!

Italiangreyhound · 13/07/2017 15:58

OP I really think you should please ask for the thread title to be changed.

"To trust my friend after this and pay her the money"

You cannot pay her the money back because you did not receive any money from her.

You could offer to pay her money because you feel bad she was scammed but I do not think you should.

She was really very foolish to fall for this and maybe should use this as a lesson. It is Not your fault at all.

LIZS · 13/07/2017 16:01

Not clear, did she top up the payg number or transfer funds from her bank a/c as well. She has clearly been scammed and should report to Action Fraud and her bank. It isn't your responsibility to reimburse her , she needs to realise the name was just a lucky coincidence for the scammers, but you could offer to support her in following it through with the authorities.

HipsterHunter · 13/07/2017 16:02

Either she is stupid as anything for falling for this scam, or she is lying (why didn't she text you or come see you in hospital???)

don't give her any money.

Direct her to the police!

DontOpenDeadInside · 13/07/2017 16:13

I'm assuming she went to the shop and bought a phone top up for £20. Then sent the number through (however many times). Then they must have said something along the lines of 'i can't put any more vouchers on but can top up using a card, can you send me the details so I can top up?'. So sad she fell for this.

My DP and I have a joint PayPal account and he often gets emails saying £x amount has been taken out please log in if this is wrong. He often panics and tells me to check (he can never remember password luckily)

StealthPolarBear · 13/07/2017 16:16

I agree this is not your responsibility but I am a bit puzzled by this by a pp
"Not your problem. And you dont give your bank details to friends, so she was daft doing that."

I do, as does everyone around me. Else we'd all need to dig out our chequebooks!

MagentaRocks · 13/07/2017 16:18

Please don't call the ops friend stupid for falling for a scam. If people didn't fall for them they wouldn't exist and victims of such a scam already feel foolish without being called stupid. These scams prey on people's decency.

rightwhine · 13/07/2017 16:31

Offer to contact the police and her bank with her. Offer support in every way but don't offer to repay the money. It is nothing to do with you.

It could happen to any of us. It isn't her fault but it definitely isn't yours either. Help her to report it etc.