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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To trust my friend after this and pay her the money

94 replies

LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 12:37

My neighbour mentioned she had seen my friend in the park who was very worried about me, that I was in hospital and had broken my leg. So, I rang her. She sounded relieved I was Ok and she had sent the money etc. I asked what was wrong, I was fine and had not been in hospital. It turned out someone with my first name had been texting her, saying they were in hospital and needed some money put on their pay-as-you go phone.

So, she had done this. Not once but several times. Then, she had given them her bank details! I said, I hadn't done that, I would not ask for money like that. I told her, how could it be my number and she said it had come up with my name on her phone. I had had no class on my mobile or home phone. Then she said she had bills coming out and was hoping I would pay her back. She said the last reply she had given she had asked me if I could get my husband to give money instead.

She didn't seem to believe me that I didn't have anything to do with it, as I adviser her to contact her bank straight away and possibly the police and report the fraud.

I don;t understand why she didn't ring me on my own mobile or home phone number to check. I asked her for the number making the calls, and when she told me I checked online and it was a phone scam, someone saying they were called either Emma or Claire (not my name but for example) and making this message about having a broken leg, stuck in hospital and needing credit. Obviously as my friend had responded, they had then gone on to ask for more.

I felt cross, and sorry for my friend, but I haven't offered to pay back the money, as it wasn't me. I think, she should possibly get it refunded if it is fraud. I also feel cross that she thought I would do that. And distrustful of our friendship.

AIBU?

OP posts:
19lottie82 · 13/07/2017 13:15

PS Unfortunately she won't get this refunded by her bank, as she sent the money of her own free will :-(

PlymouthMaid1 · 13/07/2017 13:15

The whole thing is odd as, scam or not, if you don't know her well why on earth would she send you money?

barefoofdoctor · 13/07/2017 13:15

Is she trying to scam you for money? Surely no one would be thick enough to fall for the scam she claims she fell for?

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:17

As I mentioned, she is disabled.

I haven't paid it.

OP posts:
MsSusanStoHelit · 13/07/2017 13:18

Thing is, even if her eyes are not or her reasoning are poor, it's still nothing to do with you that she fell for a scam. Help her report it by all means but she made the mistake and you don't owe her anything, it's total coincidence that it was your name.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/07/2017 13:20

How much did she lose out on?

How much does it cost to regularly top up a PAYG phone?

TheMysteriousJackelope · 13/07/2017 13:21

Tell her to contact the police, her bank, and whoever it is that handles scams like this in the UK. If she continues to claim it was you, tell her 'then the police will easily find that out won't they?'.

Do not give her the money. If her house was robbed you would lend her money to tide her over, but she isn't asking you for a loan, she expects you to compensate her for her own lack of common sense.

If a friend texted me for money, I'd phone them to find out what was going on and whether they needed anything else, because to be in hospital and desperately texting for money makes no sense at all. If a patient needs bills paid, or a taxi fare home, there are better ways of helping them than sending money to their bank account - going in and paying the bills and driving them home for instance.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:21

I think it went up to around £120.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:21

Apart from the payment, would you trust this person as a friend again? I feel wary, now.

OP posts:
SezaMcGregor · 13/07/2017 13:24

I'm assuming you're called Sarah too? My mum had the scam text but luckily had no credit to text it back at the time. Hard because a lot of people know a Sarah and so it obviously works like a charm.

Do not pay your friend back, this has nothing to do with you! It's unfortunate that it's happened but it was no way your fault.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 13/07/2017 13:24

X-post, I've just seen she has a disability that could effect her reasoning.

Does she have family or carer that need to know she has been scammed? If my elderly mother was being scammed I'd want to know so I could do something to prevent it from happening again, such as changing her phone to a non-texting type so she couldn't send money to people's accounts.

BMW6 · 13/07/2017 13:24

Oh dear. She should report to the police (who will confirm that this is a well-known scam, which should "clear your name" with her)

SezaMcGregor · 13/07/2017 13:25

Of course trust your friend! She willingly paid £120 thinking she was helping you - what is there not to trust??

Floggingmolly · 13/07/2017 13:25

When you say she's disabled, do you mean she has learning difficulties? Because as scams go, that one wasn't exactly inspired, was it? Confused
And yet she claims to have fallen for it, hook line and sinker, despite not even knowing you particularly well.
Either she's not very bright or she's the would be scam artist herself.

Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:26

I think they use names which most people know someone called, like Sarah, Emma or Claire. I had been in hospital recently, which didn't help.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:26

I don't want to out her or me, but she has progressive MS. I think it can affect the eyesight. Not sure about reasoning.

OP posts:
Original poster
LovelyBath77 · 13/07/2017 13:28

I think the trust is gone as she didn't seem to believe me when I told her it was a scam.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 13/07/2017 13:29

this was o watchdog albeit a bank text claming thy had to move thir money

they wont refnd hr because sh willingly sent it

but can still report to the police

BMW6 · 13/07/2017 13:31

Well if she won't believe you surely she'd believe the police?

Justhadmyhaircut · 13/07/2017 13:31

Show her your phone contract set up if she won't believe you don't have payg. .

Maybe she feels stupid and worried about her illness if she can make such a mistake. .

unicornpoopoop · 13/07/2017 13:35

This happened to someone I know but they couldn't get ahold of the person so really believed it but called me first. It was definitely a scam. They used the name Sarah. So yes I think they just text everyone a generic message and hope someone texts back. My friend had been messaging back and gave more info without realising that only made their story more credible. Maybe show this thread to your friend. I understand why she may be suspicious of you. You're slightly suspicious of her too.

TheEmmaDilemma · 13/07/2017 13:38

They may have used your name in the text message, but it certainly won't come up on her phone as under your actual phone number. I don't believe that is possible (as of yet!).

So that really should have twigged her suspicion. It's not your fault. Don't pay at all.

TheEmmaDilemma · 13/07/2017 13:40

who-called.co.uk/Number/07976842393

Maybe show her that. I think it's more likely she's been naive rather than her scamming you. But again, that's not your look out.

Willow2017 · 13/07/2017 13:41

She needs to tell her bank pdq before her whole bank account is cleared! Why is she dithering over this?

She may get money back, she may not but its worth a try and to protect her bank details she will need to speak to bank.

I cant believe someone thought a friend was in hospital for weeks and kept sending them money! You dont know her that well so why would you be asking her for money not someone closer? Didnt she think your oh or family would take in money when they visited you? Didnt she thnk to check you were in hospital at all?

Some scams are pretty convincing but this one clearly isnt after you think about it for 5 seconds!

BloodWorries · 13/07/2017 13:47

She sounds like a very nice and caring person to help you out when you needed it even though you aren't that close.
I'm not sure why she didn't attempt to call or visit you though, but maybe with MS she's a lot on her plate and was texting the number to ask how you were and was supporting you that way.

I'd do my best to stay on friendly terms with her, and try to convince her to report it to the police. Give her your contact details on a card to hand over to the police to encourage her to report it. That way they can easily contact you if they decide to take her word it was you, but also makes it easy for her to understand that it wasn't you if you're willing to hand your details over so easily for the police to check up on.

Unless you think she is scamming you I'm not sure why you wouldn't trust her.