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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Charlie Gard Case 5

999 replies

LovelyBath77 · 12/07/2017 09:13

A new thread to follow on from the others about this case.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Sirzy · 12/07/2017 20:09

What s horrible post. That will be one of the only photos they have of their child of course they can be proud of it and share it.

MommaGee · 12/07/2017 20:09

An interesting blog looking at why parebts5like Charlie Cards keep fighting

www.rumersrainbow.co.uk/2017/07/myth-of-irrational-parent.html?m=1

Sirzy · 12/07/2017 20:10

(And to clarity by it I meant the photo, I wasn't referring to the child as "it" although I am aware it could read that way!)

Sostenueto · 12/07/2017 20:10

Redshoeblueshoe thanks but I probably spoilt it by my last post.

Lelloteddy · 12/07/2017 20:11

Sostenuto I'm appalled by the insensitivity and actual irrelevance of your post.

Sostenueto · 12/07/2017 20:12

Sirzy it wasn't meant to be horrible, she was, of course enticed to have a photo with her child, but was it really necessary to have it all over Facebook?

TinselTwins · 12/07/2017 20:12

They've started to provide end of life care.. without telling his parents
of course they bloody have, what do they think it is? a lethal injection?
Elements of end of life care are just things they'll have been doing anyway like:
Making sure his eyes and mouth aren't dry
Making sure he's got pain relief
Making sure he's in a comfortable position
etc

And if he deteriorates further while the parents are uncontactable in court, they will treat him for end of life and tell the parents later (you can die whilst on life support, your heart can stop despite meds to try to keep it going, your organs can be beyond artificially supporting). That is the risk they took by leaving his side to persuing this route

Sostenueto · 12/07/2017 20:12

Entitled*

Sirzy · 12/07/2017 20:13

Why shouldn't someone share the only picture they have of them with their child though? Really it sounds like you don't like the idea of being faced with the horrible reality

Sostenueto · 12/07/2017 20:15

It was not meant to be offensive or insensitive. It was meant to say is it necessary for it to have been so public. I was not referring to the poor baby, but to the MOTHER, read the post properly, or perhaps I didn't word it properly.

Writerwannabe83 · 12/07/2017 20:15

I'm another one here who will be thinking of C&C tonight as I can't even imagine what thoughts must be running through their heads. They must by petrified and heartbroken to consider that this may be their last night with Charlie.

Behind all the horrors of the CA and the worrisome and questionable behaviours and actions of C&C they are still just two people who may lose their baby tomorrow or over the next 48 hours and I can't imagine having to deal with that. Amongst all the hype I imagine when they're are his bedside tonight it's going to sink in just how real and serious their situation is.

I don't know what the outcome will be tomorrow but I hope that it is one that is best for Charlie and that his parents are supported through it.

As I sit here now listening to my 3 year old sing nursery rhymes it makes me realise how fortunate I am to have him and how incredibly sad it is that C&C never got the chance to have the 'normal' parenting experience and instead have had to live in this torment for 8 months to only now potentially have Charlie pass away tomorrow in such awful circumstances. It's going to be utterly heartbreaking for them if the judge rules in favour of GOSH.

Like I said I don't know what the outcome will be, I hope the Judge allows Charlie to pass away if that's the right thing for him (which I believe it probably is) but I will be very upset for C&C as I think it's going to rip their world and their hearts apart. Despite all that's gone they will certainly be getting my most genuine sympathy if the decision is made to withdraw treatment.

The whole situation is just so incredibly sad Flowers

redshoeblueshoe · 12/07/2017 20:15

sostenueto - I didn't find your other post offensive

PenguinsAreAce · 12/07/2017 20:16

If the judge refuses to change the order and there are no grounds to appeal, can he set an (unpublicised) deadline for the withdrawal to be carried out?

If treatment IS withdrawn, how on earth in practise will this be done? He is a baby. He needs to be held and cuddled. The last chance for him to be held by his adoring parents, and their last chance to say goodbye properly. If they will fight to the end -maybe not just verbally but also physically to try to do what they believe is needed to protect him, how on earth can he have a good death? Who will hold him, hold his hands, talk to him and stroke his head -or will he die surrounded by the people closest to him yelling? It is too awful.

ScrumpyBetty · 12/07/2017 20:17

punnetsquare Flowers full support and utmost respect for you and your colleagues

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 12/07/2017 20:18

what Gabsalot said punnetsquare. I have nothing but respect and admiration for the staff of GOSH.

Sostenueto · 12/07/2017 20:18

Feel free to delete.my post I had worded it badly, apologies to all I can't delete it cos I font know how. Apologies again.Sad

DarthMaiden · 12/07/2017 20:20

Catching up on the thread.

Sorry if it's been explained...who is this new person - Catherine?

I saw the picture but the details were scant.

The USA babygro was ummm - maybe I will leave it at that.....

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 12/07/2017 20:21

PunnetSquare Flowers

I was in a coma as a child and very nearly died. When I woke, the doctor who had worked through the night to stabilise me when I was admitted came to see me, even though it was his day off. And on my 11th birthday a few days later, the nurses clubbed together to buy me gifts and balloons. I'll never forget any of them.

MommaGee · 12/07/2017 20:23

Sostenueto Patau Syndrome - that's what her daughter died of. Her child. Not just a jumbled bunch of wonky chromosomes. Those 4 minutes of life will sustain her through a lifetime of missing her daughter. Why shouldn't she get to share her daughters face. Yes it can make people feel uncomfortable -the proboscis nose, cleft palate etc. But all of that is her beautiful child. And there is no reason she shouldn't feel free to share that child with people who are meant to be her friends.

You don't like that she's smiling but those are precious moments. Would it be better for you to see the photos of her crying?

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 12/07/2017 20:24

GOSH will drag this out for as long as they possibly can and poor charlies parents can do nothing but watch there baby boy deterioate!
i have never in my whole life felt so disgusted!
there is no empathy from these people, no feelings, just nothing!
wots more disturbing to me is are these people just doing there job or are they actually this evil!!!

Wait what?!

summerbreezer · 12/07/2017 20:24

Given your legal experience, can I ask whether you think it's likely that the parents would be able to appeal if tomorrow's judgement isn't what they want? I realise of course that each case is different, but it's more the general principle I'm interested in

This is not my area of law at all, but I don't think there is anything to stop them, sadly. It is likely that permission would be refused, but it would still take a few days to sort out.

However, at some point the pro bono legal team will pull out. I have acted in hopeless cases pro bono before, and it gets to a stage where you realise it is no longer in your client's interests for this to continue. They will then have a real uphill battle.

The elephant in the room is the issue of costs. It is getting to the point where GOSH should start asking the judge to make an order for their legal costs - we know the parents have the means.

But, how would that go down from a PR perspective? GOSH just cannot win.

Sirzy · 12/07/2017 20:26

7 years down the line and DS is still like a minor celebrity when he is at the hospital, everywhere we go staff members are coming over to talk to him and see how we are doing. Staff without doubt get attached to patients especially those who are there for longer than normal or who are a more severe/different case to normal.

CaveMum · 12/07/2017 20:28

I'm listening to a Radio 4 too. I disagree with some of the points being made but it's nice to hear people discuss things politely and rationally without descending into insults and threats.

Not that I expected a bunfight on Radio 4 of course.

Dustbunny1900 · 12/07/2017 20:28

Lol pence. 🤢🤢 the man who agrees with electrocuting the gay out of American teens. If anyone is grosser than trump, it's him

smilingmind · 12/07/2017 20:30

I hope I am wrong but I don't think C&C are going to take it well and was thinking about them a lot last night.
It will be very hard to go from what they believe to acceptance of the inevitable and don't know who they will want to support them. Not anyone at GOSH I would have thought and their families seem involved in CA.
So very sad and I hope there is someone.