Row - didn't attend bday dinner

[Rayraybt2006]

AIBU?? So today my DP had a huge row and I decided against going to a family event tonight as I knew we weren't talking and it would put people in an uncomfortable position.

Back story, DP HATES people (family/ friends) parking in our drive - it only fits one car and he gets annoyed if he gets home and can't park there. Today friend came to collect kids I was minding and parked there. DP expects me to tell people he prefers if they don't ( which I always do) but if they don't I'm to insist they move. I said I won't and it's his job to do if as and when he gets home. This escalated into a huge row with him roaring and shouting at me that its my fault if they park there if he's out. when I tried to resolve it shortly after he continued to ignore me.
We have his dads bday dinner tonight but I want seeing ignored land knew there was a bad atmosphere I cancelled the babysitter, said I was unwell and he would attend himself. Now I'm selfish and sly and only think of myself. He's told me he's so disappointed that's he's insisting in sleeping in the spare room so he reevaluate things.
AIBU? I think I did the right thing by removing myself from the situation and not wanting t make others uncomfortable. Help?

Please, please leave this controlling prick.

*but as I was being ignored and knew there was a bad atmosphere

Are there any positives to being in a relationship with him?

Yes, he's generally really great. However he rarely apologises and that winds me up. We are both strong characters but I generally back down for the sake of peace because I value our relationship more than being right in an argument

Not sure about going or not going but your dp sounds like a nob. And a bit weird about the driveway

Leave him. He's a dick. Honestly.

No matter what you do he'll always find you lacking in some way. If it wasn't the drive it'd be something else. He sounds horrible and miserable.

is there any other parking close by?
I bought a house with 2 parking spaces. One for me and one for DH.
It boils my piss when I come home and find someone (friends/family) parked there.
However I would just move after.

Gosh I'm so much on the fence I need help
Pulling the splinters out me arse

I'm sorry but what an arsehole, a massive temper tantrum because your friend parked on the driveway? Tell him not to worry about reevaluating things, do some reevaluation of your own & tell him to bugger off

On balance I would say massive over reaction in his part and would be inclined to pull wheelie bins in the way when no ones parked there. Just for behaving like a cunt.

He's acting like a prat over parking but I'd not leave him over it ......yet.

Read that back :
he's generally really great, however, he rarely apologises
I generally back down for the sake of peace

Thia sounds a pretty stressful and unhappy way to live.

Yes there's parking about 15m away - he's just thinks it's rude that people park in ours and I get that. I just don't think it's my responsibility to frog march people out demanding they move the car.

I'm more interested in not attending the dinner and whether I was right or wrongness to remove myself from it given the tension and argument between us?

You were right. Why would you go to anything with someone who treats you like that?

Very unreasonable of your DH. So basically if someone parks there he doesn't want to tell them to move, but expects you to do it. Very weird and controlling.

He's a dick. Tbh, I think I would have done the same with regards to dinner. Sitting there with a false smile plastered on your face! No!

What a totally over the top ridiculous idiot he is to make this much fuss over parking! Seriously? I'd laugh my arse off at my DH if he tried pulling this shit!

It sounds like you are supposed to prioritise his feelings and demands over your own discomfort. I don't blame you for not going, I would think it odd if you put up with more of this.

If the parking is his only hang up and source of being unreasonable then I think yes refusing to go to his dads dinner was mean. You should be able to put an argument to one side for a parents birthday, However the parking needs to be resolved. He needs to accept you do not share his neurotic feelings over it and will not ask people to move and will permit people to park there. There is no point arguing about it every time. That's it, you don't share his feelings and you won't help him. Tell him you will not discuss it with him again, that's your position.

Thank you all for your replies. I do feel horrendous for not going as I really grey on great with his dad and I know he would have loved me there. My idea was not to put others in an awkward position or to bring down the night as there is less than 10 going for dinner. As for the parking....I have no doubt there won't be another thread about it another day when he loses his shit again!

What exactly is 'really great' about him? Dying to know.

You weren't in the wrong about the dinner.

As for the parking, maybe it's time to tell people "if you park in the driveway, my husband will shout at me after you leave and possibly ignore me and move into the spare room" so you can see the look of utter horror on the faces of people who love you. Maybe that will help you see that he's an unreasonable knobend.

I'd tell him very calmly that he can't have it both ways. Either he accepts that a visitor parking in your driveway is not a Greek tragedy and you get on with your everyday lives, or he accepts that if he turns a minor incident into a massive row, you won't feel inclined to paint on a smile and socialise.

I don't like it when friends/family use my space either. Last thing I want after my 2 hr each way commute is to negotiate a fucking parking space when I already have one. Difference here is that DH won't let his friends park and cares enough to be firm about it.

If this is his only fault then YABVU. DP's feelings should mean more than some rando friend's.

I think Clopy Sow has the right answer there and you were right to stay home tonight.

Rude for parking in rent of your house when family or friends come to visit???
Really?

I have to stay I have never hear anyone saying that and this is something that has never crossed my mind either.