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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Re woman on bus and mobile phone

129 replies

user1485342611 · 11/07/2017 16:32

I was on a bus earlier. A young woman in her 20s was on her phone yacking away at top volume from the minute she got onto the bus; finishing one call and immediately calling someone else. This went on for about 20 minutes and eventually a middle aged woman sitting directly in front of her turned around and said 'Can you please just stop shouting into your phone and show some consideration. You're doing my head in'.

Younger woman looked a bit shocked but ended her call and we all got a bit of peace.

AIBU to wish I had the courage to do something similar. I am fed up of people around me gabbing away loudly into their phones on public transport, barely pausing to draw breath for the entire journey.

OP posts:
Onhold · 11/07/2017 17:59

I'd have ignored her and carried on SHOUTING into my phone.

user1497435493 · 11/07/2017 17:59

YANBU OP. It's fine to chat and even have a giggle in public, but excessive noise is not on. It's the most irksome and entitled arses who think that being very loud is acceptable. Whether it's being loud on public transport or in a public place, or whether it's someone playing loud music in their house.

I think it's the most attention seeking 'look at me look at me, I am so special love me love me love me!' types who do it. They crave attention and can't bear it when they don't get it.

Probably have a meltdown when they're not centre of attention, probably have every illness going, and every single thing that happens to them is soooooooooooo much worse than anyone else!

Original poster
user1485342611 · 11/07/2017 18:00

Well that speaks volumes about you Onhold (no pun intended)

OP posts:
Onhold · 11/07/2017 18:01

Or they are just making a phone call.

wheresmyphone · 11/07/2017 18:02

I think the big issue is often when people are on one phones they tend to shout/talk a lot louder than normal face to face conversations and it is disturbing to others.

twisterinyogapants · 11/07/2017 18:04

Last time I was on a bus there was some woman about 4 seats in front of me on the phone going on about how Craig gave her the clap but he bought her backy to say sorry. She then went on to complain her friend didn't want her having sex on her sofa because that's where the children eat. 😳 she then gave an older woman a mouth full for looking at her and then bitched about her in the phone. There was only about 5 of us on the bus and we were all silent.

Onhold · 11/07/2017 18:04

How can you be disturbed on a noisy bus? I find other people quite entertaining.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 11/07/2017 18:06

YANBU. My lovely mum is amazing and I adore her but she doesn't realise how loudly she shouts on the phone. She manages normal tone in the rest of her day-to-day life and she's mid 50s, so nowhere near old and her hearing is fine. Phone comes and out and she yells. It's annoyingly.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2017 18:13

I honestly can't get disturbed by noise in public.

Also, whilst there seems to be an unwritten 'rule' about acceptable volume level when it comes to speaking down the phone, or to the person next to you, that volume level does tend to vary in different cultures.

So what might be unacceptable to one person, may be completely acceptable to another.

AufderAutobahn · 11/07/2017 18:18

PoorYorick- completely agree with your post! I don't understand why some people lament the fact complete strangers don't automatically start talking to each other, like it's the saddest thing in the world. I love reading a book, looking at the news on my phone or even just staring out of the window. It's how I relax after being at work!

fatcatsinhats · 11/07/2017 18:19

I am sure I live in a very 'shouty' area. People bellow rather than talk.

I hate it.

YANBU.

schnubbins · 11/07/2017 18:26

I was on a 4 hour bus journey a couple of years ago .A chap in front of me took out his phone and called everyone listed .He had the most loud and inane conversation with each and everyone about the fact that he was sitting on the bus and in which town he was now in.He finally after about two hours put the phone in his pocket and I thought the ordeal was over.He then took out another second phone and called everyone listed on that phone.I was fit to be tied by the end of the journey.

PollyFlint · 11/07/2017 18:29

please don't get me started on being literally glued to their phone screens. Its hardly life and death, its normally looking at Facebook and having to just reply THAT instant

Please don't get me started on people who don't know what the word 'literally' means...

In any case, why on earth does it bother you that someone is looking at their phone screen? What impact does that have on you, exactly - or are you saying they should somehow be paying attention to you instead?

And how do you know they're looking at Facebook unless you're one of those nosy people who peer at what other people are reading?

Moreover, lots of people use Facebook to catch up with friends and family that they rarely see. What's actually wrong with doing that while you're sitting on a bus or a train? Seems to me to be a perfectly pleasant and harmless way to spend an otherwise dull commute. I live 200 miles away from my family and it brightens up my day to see their updates and pictures.

People who say that 'nobody talks to each other on public transport any more because they're all glued to phones' are talking bollocks. I commuted for years before smart phones ever existed and nobody talked to each other then, either. And neither would I want them to. When I'm on public transport I usually want to read a book or the newspaper - which, by the way, I can do on my phone - rather than make awkward small talk with random strangers who bore me rigid.

WorraLiberty · 11/07/2017 18:35

'Literally' glued, did tickle me Grin

It's the mental image Grin

Louiselouie0890 · 11/07/2017 18:44

Most people any hear that there shouting. Seen as though she put the phone down and wasn't arsey I'm thinking she might not have realised.

AuntJane · 11/07/2017 18:49

This morning, the man sitting behind me on the train was talking loudly on his phone. I tried to zone out, and found than another man, standing about a quarter of the carriage away, was also talking loudly on his phone.

After five minutes or so, I realised that they were talking TO EACH OTHER.

This went on for around 15 minutes, until one of them got off, when they ended their conversation.

Nancy91 · 11/07/2017 18:53

To be honest, if you use public transport then you'll have to get used to the public being on there with you. Not every member of the public is polite.

CherriesInTheSnow · 11/07/2017 20:56

Having to put up with the public =/= not finding them annoying arseholes.

OlennasWimple · 11/07/2017 21:00

Has anyone clever ever done some research about why it's so much more annoying to only hear half the conversation (as with someone on the phone sat behind you) then the whole conversation (as with two people next to each other sat behind you)?

TinselTwins · 11/07/2017 21:05

Last time I took one of my kids to a&e I was "glued to my phone"
My other kid was still at school, I wasn't going to get outta there in time to pick her up as the wait was dragging on. I was group messaging the school mums to make arrangements for my other kid, I was updating DH who was in a panic but working quite far away, Then once I found someone to pick up other kid and arranged all that with school, a load of other volunteers who didn't reply earlier replied and said they would, so I had to reply to all of them so that there wasn't confusion at pick up with 5 different people all thinking they were picking her up…….

TinselTwins · 11/07/2017 21:06

I quite like nosying in on people's half conversations on the bus anyway….

PoorYorick · 11/07/2017 22:34

When two people are talking together they tend to speak more quietly and directly to each other, and there is a bit of ebb and flow in their interaction. When people are on the phone they tend to talk more loudly and expressively, possibly to compensate for not being able to see the other person. You lose half the context of the conversation when you hear it and it's jarring, because you can tell they're responding to something but you can't sense it.

londonrach · 11/07/2017 22:42

Yanbu. Really not interested in hearing a one sided conversation. Also people tend to shout

echt · 11/07/2017 22:49

All the haters of loud phone calls would love Japan, where it is considered the height of rudeness to speak on the phone on public transport. In the most jam-packed rush hour train, it's utterly quiet, most people looking their phones, some quiet conversation.

I only saw this social convention broke once. Everyone was Hmm. But in a polite way.

crypticbow08 · 11/07/2017 22:55

Admit I will talk on the phone on public transport, however I do make a conscious effort to talk quietly because it can be irritating hearing someone else. I find hearing music through someone's headphones more annoying.

People do get irritated by noise on public transport, I once had a woman on the bus have a go because my son, toddler at the time, was playing the car colour game and laughing. He probably was a bit load, but crying would have been louder.