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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Charlie Gard Case 4

970 replies

LovelyBath77 · 11/07/2017 08:15

A new thread to follow on from the others about this case

OP posts:
Thread gallery
21
LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 11/07/2017 19:11

DarthMaiden I noticed that though most comments been soon deleted so maybe have always been questioning posts and gone soon as.

sodablackcurrant · 11/07/2017 19:12

Sorry to say it, but most people are just not invested in this at all.

It is a small number of people who want to help out, and another group or mob who SCREAM.

I would not give money to anyone over the internet. Sorry.

They have free legal aid and free hospital care. Just like everyone else with a terminally ill child.

Why is this different.

The money thing bothers me TBH.

DarthMaiden · 11/07/2017 19:17

I thought they didn't have legal aid - didn't the Judge comment on that yesterday?

Yes their lawyers are acting pro bono, but it's not "legal aid".

LogicalPsycho · 11/07/2017 19:17

@sodablackcurrant don't forget that the treatment in the USA, for which 1.3million was originally raised, has now been offered by a different hospital free of charge.

So they do literally have 2 million pounds in undesignated funds.

It makes the Charlie air fresheners and iPhone cases seem even more distasteful when you think of it that way.
Because they genuinely don't need to raise more.

Saucery · 11/07/2017 19:20

Can't see a flash mob happening. That woman in Blackpool couldn't even get the Gazette out and believe me, the Gazette would attend the opening of an envelope.

LetsGoFlyAKiteee · 11/07/2017 19:20

I don't understand the merchandise. The bracelets maybe but car stickers air freshers etc. If this goes the way it's looking to go surley the last thing want to see is someone else with something with your child's face on

As for oooo let's sing outside the court room etc. It ain't a day out!

And the comment ooo let's see if things work by testing on Charlie to prove a point.
Really?! He ain't a Guinea pig! Yet getting so many I agree comments

GinSoakedTwitchyPony · 11/07/2017 19:21

They don't 'have free legal aid'. Their legal team/s are/were working pro bono.

nocoolnamesleft · 11/07/2017 19:21

I remain very, very, sorry for Charlie's parents. They are going through the horror and trauma of losing their child. However, I remain more sorry for Charlie. Because I fear that his parents have indeed become blinded to his best interests. And the involvement of mob social media, and extremist backers, makes it even harder for them to hear anything from the dedicated medical team who have kept Charlie alive so long.

The doctors have, technically, been playing god for months. Because without them, and the whole team, Charlie would have been dead many months ago. What they actually want to do is to stop playing god. Because it isn't working. And causing suffering when there is no hope is torment.

I hate children dying. I remember them all. Every single one of them. Those brought into A&E already dead, where we could not bring them back. Those who were just too sick, or born far too early, or too damaged by a harsh cruel nature. Those from terrible accidents, and those struck down by disease. Those who died quickly, and those where we at least managed a gentle passing and a chance to say goodbye. I have cuddled dying babies, when their parents couldn't. And shed tears, afterwards, for each and every one.

Paediatricians care about our patients. We get attached to them. We fight for them. PICUs routinely look after children for months, who if they were adult patients would be turned away by our more pragmatic adult colleagues, as having too small a chance, too cruel a quality of life. And when we fail, we mourn them. But, let us be clear, it is only one tiny drop of grief compared to the all consuming ocean of grief that overwhelms their parents.

But we do grieve. Every death leaves a tiny little scar on your soul. But failing a child is a greater scar. Knowing that you are causing completely futile suffering for even a day or two is agonising, but sometimes you have to do that, for the sake of the parents. Doing the same for months? Charlie is what matters in the middle of this. He is the centre, and the focus. But I do also wonder how many highly trained and desperately needed expert staff are being pushed ever closer to burnout.

So, I don't blame the parents. Because I cannot. They are going through hell. But I do not agree with them. And the surrounding baying mob are appalling.

I hope that Charlie may be at peace very soon. And I hope that when that time comes, his parents will have calm, sensible, compassionate people there for them, and not this media circus.

GabsAlot · 11/07/2017 19:25

grat post

as for the money i dont donate to anyone direct regardless to cover myself i always use a lgitmate page like justgiving etc

SocksBoatsAndQats · 11/07/2017 19:25

Where does this two million figure come from? I thought they just had the money in go fund me?

Allhallowseve · 11/07/2017 19:26

Well said nocoolnamesleft
Im a paed nurse and am finding it difficult to articulate what I want to say as this all plays out.

sodablackcurrant · 11/07/2017 19:26

I will say it again. There are hundreds (if not more) parents who are devastated having to make a decision tonight about their darling beloved child.

Who cares about them?

And no donations required either, just terror, devastation and total grief, I doubt any of them are thinking in monetary terms tonight.

My heart goes out to them.

DarthMaiden · 11/07/2017 19:26

@nocoolnamesleft

Very moving post.

LapinR0se · 11/07/2017 19:30

@nocoolnamesleft such a poignant post and makes me feel even more sorry for the medical team at GOSH who I'm sure feel the same way but are being criticised left right and centre

Rabbitnothare · 11/07/2017 19:32

Where does this two million figure come from? I thought they just had the money in go fund me?

No, apparently a significant amount has been donated directly to the parents through Paypal and bank transfers.

There is now another appeal being set up by the Charlie's Army which is Paypal/bank account, this is for treats for them.

It's on the FB page just now.

totallyliterally · 11/07/2017 19:34

@SocksBoatsAndQats I think it is assumed that people have donated directly to the mums bank account and PayPal so it could be that figure. But we will never know as no one can see those amounts.

Rabbitnothare · 11/07/2017 19:34

It's because of the fees

Charlie Gard Case 4
TinselTwins · 11/07/2017 19:37

As for oooo let's sing outside the court room etc. It ain't a day out!
They're making playlists! Literally treating it like a road trip with mates "oh I have an idea, what about Fight Song"

CA UK is loners who are blinded by being in a gang
CA USA is religious/political nuts

Ta1kinPeace · 11/07/2017 19:40

£1.3m has gone through the gofundme
www.gofundme.com/please-help-to-save-charlies-life
so they have been able to draw on at least a million of that

the paypal will have taken a load more (especially the overseas stuff)
and takes fees of 3%

then there is what has gone straight into their bank

and the trading income

I can see how it gets to the best part of £2m

ChristopherWren · 11/07/2017 19:40

Thank you for your very moving post Nocoolnamesleft.

Your comment about an adult in ICU having 'too cruel a quality of life' perfectly summed up the situation when we had to turn off the life support for a member of my family. It was heartbreaking but the right thing for them.

Your compassion and dedication is evident in your post and I don't understand why Charlie's parents don't feel that way about the people caring for Charlie. I know I did.

I feel so sorry for Charlie's parents but this is now a terrible situation. I am so anxious about how this is going to end.

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 11/07/2017 19:41

I don't think Charlie's parents give a shit about the money. Nothing I've seen from either of them suggests they do. It's the aunt I'm Hmm about.

smilingmind · 11/07/2017 19:42

Thank you AlabamaI didn't know that and that makes it even more strange.
Even if they are reading this thread I have no idea how they are getting our names and emails.

sodablackcurrant · 11/07/2017 19:44

I urge people not to donate. Not because I am a skinflint, but because I do not have a clue where my hard earned money is going.

Would you deny your own babies something in order to fund something that you have no idea as to how it will be funded? Nah surely not.

This funding is not necessary AT ALL.

DarthMaiden · 11/07/2017 19:44

From the CA FB page.

I'm not sure I've heard anything quite so crass "my power's turned on" Sad

Charlie Gard Case 4
TinselTwins · 11/07/2017 19:46

I don't think Charlie's parents give a shit about the money. Nothing I've seen from either of them suggests they do. It's the aunt I'm hmm about.

I don't think that they care about the actual money, but I do think they care about the donations and want to keep seeing them rolling in because it means that they've still got their "army" IYKWIM.

I think a lot of this is about popularity, although that is the wrong word. I don't think Connie would cope well if her spotlight and army and followers moved on to a new cause, that is why I think the donations matter to her.