To think there's too many women on Mn living their lives with utter fuckwits?

[ssd]

I know its never easy and theres no one size fits all. I know some women live in fear for their lives or their childs lives. I know many women are financially dependant on their men. I know its easy to look on and shake my head

BUT BUT BUT.... sometimes on here I want to scream...why put up with that? why put up with utter shite?

dont let him away with it FFS

and I'm not talking about the heart rending posts from terrified or browbeaten women living in bad bad relationships, I'm talking about the everyday bollocks a lot of women seem to live with

dh isnt perfect and god help us neither am I, but fuck me, some of the threads on here are beyond belief

...and why they CONTINUE to breed with these arseholes is beyond me

YANBU

Not just on here, my best mate is married to a prize asshole, he's not abusive just uncaring, selfish, lazy and hurtful.

I used to feel sorry for her but now I think she can't complain and expect sympathy if she puts up with it.

YANBU

If they left, they'd be risking leaving their kids alone with the arsehole.

I think many MNers forget this amongst shrieks of LTB.

Drives me fucking potty!

It's a bit distorted though because you don't hear from all the women whose husbands and partners are amazing or even just 'normal', you mostly hear about the negative stuff.

Also, it's hard to tell, particularly from a post, let alone in real life, when does arseholery become abuse? There's a fine line there too.

I read 2 threads here Saturday that actually made me cry. So abused, but so indoctrinated they didn't know what they were going through wasn't normal. It's heartbreaking.

It took me 15 years to get away from mine. It just wasn't possible prior to that due to lack of support and 2 children with additional needs.

I had to bide my time and save up but I did it eventually. Things aren't always so simple. I put up with a lot because rocking the boat never ever resulted in improved behaviour.

It's very easy to judge from the outside.
It took me years to see how dysfunctional my relationship was - and I can't say I'm back to the real 'me' years down the line. It has damaged me in some inexplicable way.
The reasons for women staying are very complex - pride, guilt, loyalty, lack of support to name a few.
I hope you never find yourself in that situation.

Completely and totally 100% agree. They moan that their other half does nothing around the house or with their dc (but he's a brilliant dad ) and then they'll usually say they're pregnant again. Im not judging them for their partners behaviour. I'm judging them for staying with the guy and modelling a shite relationship for the children. Although some people fall into a rut and don't realise that living with a person who is thoughtless and lazy isn't the only choice they could make and they might need MN to wake them up. But the warning signs are almost always there. Obviously I don't mean in cases of abuse in which case I am aware its a lot harder to just up and leave.

Please let me be clear in my previous post I am not judging women who are in abusive relationships. Just the ones that put up with a low level of lazy shit from a cocklodging other half and choose to do nothing about it apart from moan.

But you should hear how many men in the pub are married to wicked witches!!!

Well I bred with an arsehole so I agree with you but what you're seeing here is the process of a long drawn out epiphany.

In the old days, a woman left with a suit case and kids and no money and you might have admired her if you were a woman and felt threatened if you were a man. Now the lead up to that point is played out on line.

"But you should hear how many men in the pub are married to wicked witches!!!"

I bet!

YANBU. It's difficult to get your head around the circumstances some people put up with. Yesterday, someone, (sorry, can't remember who), posted that no one tells her off and that struck me as a good rule to live life by.

Yeah. Been thinking it for a long time. I don't want to victim blame and I know it is really hard to leave abusive men for all number of reasons. And yet it just drives me so crazy to see woman after woman after woman complaining about a man who's lazy, selfish, utterly entitled, useless, treats her like dirt, probably the kids too, and she's on here telling us about it but not FUCKING THE TURD RIGHT OFF.

Same goes for when she's typing with a beefsteak pressed to her eye and telling us all that he's still a great father. I know she's abused, I don't want to victim blame, but Christ it makes me so utterly FUCKING MAD.

As pidgeon says, I read with utter disbelief as women describe complete abusive bastards then go on to say " I am now expecting our third". Just why?
It seems so wrong to continue to bring children into relationships that have proved to be dysfunctional.

Also, it's hard to tell, particularly from a post, let alone in real life, when does arseholery become abuse? There's a fine line there too.

Sometimes the line can be hard to draw, but by the time they're on here telling us what great fathers these pricks are, the line is usually the size of the Great Wall of China, visible from space and surrounded by klaxons and neon signs flashing, "FUCKNOZZLE ALERT, AWOOGA AWOOGA, THIS IS NOT A DRILL."

I agree, and I say that as someone with not one, but two abusive fuckwit exs that I said with for three and nine years respectively. I pnly had one child with fuckwit one though, and I would never take that shit now.

When you're living in a situation like this, it's often very difficult to walk away. From an outsiders point of view it's black and white - LTB.

However when you're in the situation it becomes your normality, you can't imagine life being any different. It's a weird, confused feeling of wanting to leave but being completely overwhelmed and not knowing how to go about it and knowing how he'll react, and feeling incredibly sad, remembering the good times and the guilt at taking your children away from their Father.

On top of that, financially it's not easy to just leave as you've got nowhere to go. And they sure as hell won't leave.

So although you're right, too many women are living with fuck wit men, please don't blame the women for not leaving. Blame the fuck wits who think it's acceptable to treat women like this.

haha engineersthumb

I agree with you so much!!!

Seems a lot of women are just desperate for kids and breed with knob heads, scared to be alone or don't know how to get a job and pay for themselves. I don't know anyone in real life who'd put up with this shit.