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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Feeling offended!!

95 replies

ExclusiveSecret · 10/07/2017 12:54

Ok this is just something I need to write as it is really playing on my mind.
I'm currently pregnant with my third DC and at a family dinner at my mums house yesterday we were discussing baby names. When I happily mentioned what I was planning to name this baby if it turns out to be a girl everyone was saying how lovely a name it was but then my Nan turns to me and says "people will laugh at her with a name like that."
The rest of the family told her that they thought it was a nice name but I feel really upset and offended by this. (Maybe I'm just hormonal and overthinking)
But AIBU to think if you don't like someone's chosen baby name you should keep you're mouth shut?
It's been really playing on my mind because I feel she's picking at the tiniest things about my pregnancy, my sister is also pregnant and she doesn't do this to her, in fact she seems to favour my sister over me. Had my sister mentioned what names she has chosen my Nan probably would have said how lovely they were or something.
Sorry, just kind of needed a rant I guess, need to get it off my chest, even if no one replies.

OP posts:

honeysucklejasmine · 10/07/2017 12:57

And thus you learn the hard lesson "do not share names before baby's arrival."

Original poster

ExclusiveSecret · 10/07/2017 12:58

Totally agreed. With my other two we kept the names secret so this time round I wanted to be different and tell people. Wrong choice I guess!

OP posts:

EdmundCleverClogs · 10/07/2017 12:58

A think you are being rather unreasonable. Whilst of course the default answer is 'what a lovely name', not everyone has a mouth-filter. This is why it's best not to mention the name until the child is born. Not knowing what the name is (of course you don't have to share), makes it difficult to judge whether your grandmother is right in her opinion or not.

Groupie123 · 10/07/2017 12:59

Let it go. Some people aren't worth stressing over. Your nan sounds like one of them.

EssentialHummus · 10/07/2017 12:59

^^Yup. "We're still deciding, no idea" is the right answer.

Groupie123 · 10/07/2017 12:59

Though I'm assuming you're not naming your kid tallulah belle or something equally twee.

WillRikersExtraNipple · 10/07/2017 13:01

Nan's can say what they like. She must be pretty old.

chowmeinchick · 10/07/2017 13:01

People will always judge a name if you tell them before the baby gets here. Probably because they think you will change your mind about it anyway.

Don't tell anyone until baby is here and you'll be told it's a nice name by everyone.

I would rather know the honest opinion before but that's just me. Just let it go.

MeltorPeltor · 10/07/2017 13:02

Ensure you name the baby just that to annoy her then! :D

PutThatPomBearBack · 10/07/2017 13:04

Groupie at the irony of both your posts

LorLorr2 · 10/07/2017 13:04

How old is your nan though? I wouldn't sweat it, it sounds like most people like it and it might just not be one your nan had in her generation.

Groupie123 · 10/07/2017 13:04

@PutThatPomBearBack I just realised what if it is a stupid name lol

requestingsunshine · 10/07/2017 13:05

Don't let it bother you. If you like the name then go with it. My mil told me the girls name I'd picked would make her sound like a prostitute. It was a normal name (along the lines of Elizabeth or Rachel)

ellenripleysbiceps · 10/07/2017 13:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

ExclusiveSecret · 10/07/2017 13:13

It's not a name which is stupid trust me lol but it's not very common as I don't like common names. My other two DC have names which aren't that common and I love them. Nan is in her 70s and that's exactly what the rest of the family said, that she's a different generation.
She can be really rude sometimes. Her and my Grandpa have just moved back to England after living abroad for 13 years. The rest of my family were able to fly out and visit them but I couldn't due to the DC and lack of money etc. So maybe my Nan just feels closer to my siblings than me. My sister even admitted that last time she was abroad to visit them Nan told her that she was her favourite grandchild

OP posts:

BarbaraofSeville · 10/07/2017 13:14

Nan's can say what they like. She must be pretty old

Some Nans are in their 50s when they become great Nans, that's not especially old.

Maybe the OP should post the name on here. I'm sure people will be happy to say whether or not she'll get laughed at .

ppeatfruit · 10/07/2017 13:24

Some names ARE strange though. It does seem unfair to saddle a child with a name like Fifi Trixiebell or some such .

darbyshaw · 10/07/2017 13:28

If you don't want opinions from people, you shouldn't tell them the name. It's not rude for them to express an opinion really, although it does depend how that is delivered.

Different if they are critical after the baby is born.

That said, if it was a ridiculous name I think most people would say something at any point. Or if the initials spelt something dodgy.

GabsAlot · 10/07/2017 13:30

as long as it isnt sir or apple?!

Trethew · 10/07/2017 13:30

Don't take it to heart, I doubt she intended to be unkind. Her generation might have chosen Horace, Enid, Percy or Cecil. Maybe that's what she was expecting

Troels · 10/07/2017 13:30

Sounds like your Nan has a favorite and she wants to rub your nose in it.
Next family get together, your sis should say she thinks hers is a girl and you said she can use the name as she loves it so much. I bet it will suddenly be an acceptable name to Nan.
Then you'll know to ignore the batty woman and get on with your life.

Original poster

ExclusiveSecret · 10/07/2017 13:34

@Troels that's a very good idea lol.
I'm tempted to post the name here but I think I'll keep it to myself, not out of worry that I think posters in here will think it's silly because it's really not. My Nan has already criticised a water birth, I had one with my DD and it was amazing but my Nan seemed to think it was disgusting

OP posts:

BeepBeepMOVE · 10/07/2017 13:37

It completely depends on the name.

If its something hideous then I side with your nan.

Don't say it if you don't want honest opinions. Once baby's is here people will be nice and fake and say the name is lovely.

TheMysteriousJackelope · 10/07/2017 13:42

It sounds like she is one of those negative people who also think that because they have a thought it is of such incredible value that it needs to be shared immediately without any further consideration as to how it will be received.

Did she give a reason for thinking people would laugh at the name? She may be thinking of a news story, radio program from her own youth which would cause people of her generation to laugh at the name, but wouldn't occur to younger people now. I know I occasionally comment on the baby names thread about associations a particular name has for me and get replies like 'yes but children nowadays wouldn't know anything about that'. Which is true.

Justhadmyhaircut · 10/07/2017 13:50

My gs is named after his maternal gf. Also his mgm dog's name.

Wasn't my business to comment.

Job is to love the gs not his name!!
It has grown on him though tbh!!

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