MIL and Facebook

[3rdrockfromthesun]

I know I am probably being U but my MIL has just announced my engagement on Facebook!!! It only happened last night and I didn't want it on Facebook just yet! I am fuming and am posting here to stop myself ringing her or even worse putting something catty on Facebook

I really honestly hope that I never have sons. Mils are basically satan personified

This in abundance, I have two ds's and dread the day they end up with a Gf. Your mil is just excited. Next you'll be moaning that she doesn't show an interest in your wedding or your children and she will be just be treading on egg shelling greatful for the crumbs you throw her.

I think it is nice that she is excited and happy that her son has gotten engaged because my MIL certainly wasn't when we got engaged

I'd approach it from the basis that we know you're excited but we hadn't told some people we wanted to tell in person yet so next time we have some news can you wait for the go ahead before going public. Thanks.

Tell her now it's not acceptable. I let something very similar slide. She then announced our pregnancy to everyone and then when she was born. She's been told this time she'll be the last to know when I've delivered as We want to tell people.

You shouldn't have to ask anyone not to mention it on fb. Unless you've made the announcement yourself on social media, it's common courtesy that no one else should announce it on your behalf imo.

YouCant Owch, your poor MIL. Hope she knows her place in the dog house now.

"she said last night that she wasn't going to tell anyone as it was our news 😢"

That is not the same as being specifically asked not to put it on FB Hardcore.

She cannot put anything about you on FB if you don't tell her.

ffs she will be part of your family . No she shouldn't have put it on fb, she's made a mistake, hardly the crime of the century that needs her to be left out cold.

3rdrock, why don't you just ask her politely to take down the Facebook post until you have had a chance to tell everyone you wanted to speak to, and then you'll let her know when it's fine to repost.

Unless the damage has already been done, of course.

In which case, just leave it, but remember, so that if/when a similar situation arises, you can make sure you specifically ask her not to post it on facebook, until you have had a chance to tell the news. Or, equally, tell her after the other people, next time, so she can't steal your thunder.

Thanks everyone - I have had time to calm down

Goodness, what is wrong with people? It wasn't her news, your engagement is nothing to do with her. Don't fall for the "I was excited and I forgot to keep it to myself" crap. This was a deliberate act. I would speak to her OP and if she starts to cry and say things like " I didn't mean to upset anyone" or "I didn't think you would mind", you know you are dealing with a manipulator.

Mine used to do this so I thought it only fair to post on her Facebook that her son had been convicted of domestic violence towards me.

Say something now op unless you want a lifetime of these stunts.

No, Constance, but if someone says they won't tell the news, then it would also be reasonable to think they wouldn't post it on Facebook, either, so one would reasonably assume there would be no need to specifically mention Facebook, as a means by which the news may be shared.

I actually just checked to see if you were my SIL as my MIL has form for doing that shit!

She announced the birth of our nephew on Facebook complete with photos of herself, BIL and SIL's parents while SIL was still in theatre!!!

Needless to say I / we don't tell her any big news until we've told everyone else in our lives that we want to know. And she is always told that it is not to be put on Facebook until we do it ourselves.

Some people have fb but dont like personal things on there. I use it for work and ask family not to share any persinal details about me.

Why did she have to tag the op? Some family members might be upset to find out from fb, and tagging the op in it means her friends will see it and she might have wanted to tell them in person??

Ive got to say as well, the comments here from shit scared future mils are hilarious, especially the dils are fucking horrible comment. I can't believe the irony. You are setting yourselves up to fail with a dil before you even have a son!

This was a deliberate act?? An act of what? To achieve what end? What do you believe her intention to be?

I feel your anger. My mum (first person we told) took it upon herself to call my entire family and any friends of mine she had numbers for and tell them. I was fuming. And I made it very clear why she was the last to find out I was pregnant.

It's got quite a lot to do with her, considering it's her son the OP has got engaged to.

Would it have been ok for her to phone her friends to tell them?

People have very short memories. Until very recently all engagement notices were placed by the parents, in local and national newspapers. Mine was. Sweet tradition.
Enjoy your happy news and your wedding planning instead of stressing about this.

Is getting engaged a secret these days?

Post that the rumours of your engagement are vastly exaggerated, that you have no idea what she's talkng about. Just deny deny deny..Then no one will believe it and you can still keep it underwraps unti you decide not to.

How she deals with your denials is her problem.