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AIBU?

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To be scared of sex work as can't get WTC and worried my hip might dislocate? What can I do instead? Please help

182 replies

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 13:45

My head doesn't feel clear today, I'm very desperate, I'm disabled and running out of money at a rate of knots. Was ticking along ok hoping against hope I'd be ok with part time work and topping up with disability element of working tax credit. But Universal credit has been introduced to my area so I can't get WTC.

I don't have enough money. I don't have skills to allow me to earn more money. I can't hold down a full time job due to my health. My executive function, concentration etc is abysmal, as I am not neurotypical and regular panic attacks fuck with my concentration also.

Ideally I'd work outdoors doing something physical that doesn't require high levels of meticulous organisation, but my physical health doesn't allow that, certainly not more than a couple of days a week and then I couldn't be sure what days I'll be ok and what days I won't be ok as my condition fluctuates.

Sex work feels suitable from the point of view that it is physical (ie no deadlines of having to write reports, or transcribe documents that sort of thing) and in relatively short bursts.

Really really hate the idea of it as I don't think it would be good for mental health, and worried my dodgy hip might dislocate. I am terrified though. If I have absolutely zero money, and no access to any - like thousands of other women - what if I have no choice? What if it's that or not pay bills, get into arrears with rent, and then be taken to court or end up sleeping on the pavement or in a park??? I couldn't survive that, on a most basic level I need to keep my medication in a fridge. My council have warned me if I get into arrears with rent that would disqualify me from any help from them regarding homelessness.

What can I do instead? What do I do? I need a way out and I cannot think of anything.

Please if you have any ideas can you share? I'm so worried, and aware that being so worried means I'm not thinking straight.

OP posts:
LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 13:46

Got rejected from a call centre today too, just full of despair, as that's something people can do from home.

OP posts:
snotato · 07/07/2017 13:57

What about a phone sex operator?
I think the pay is good,and it's not at all physical.you can work from home while you're sat on the sofa having a cuppa.

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:02

My friend did phone sex chatlines before as a student, the money wasn't good probably half min wage. Callers had to be on the line a minimum amount of time before the worker gets paid and they seemed to call just before they were ready to ejaculate. Hence very little money most of the time.

OP posts:
Badbadtromance · 07/07/2017 14:04

Don't do sex work. It will seriously mess with your mental and physical health

chips4teaplease · 07/07/2017 14:05

I did a couple of shifts on a phone sex line. It was minimum wage and paid by the hour not the calls. The work wasn't unpleasant. My first caller was on the phone an hour. I like talking to people...

snotato · 07/07/2017 14:06

If you have a spare room could you take in foreign students?my mum did it for a while,she had bunk beds,so got 2 students and double the money each time.
She didn't have to do a lot,just show them to the bus stop and they would be out all day most days.

FauxFox · 07/07/2017 14:09

Pet sitting/dog walking? - probably a great time of year to do holiday care for cats/caged pets while people are away in the summer...advert on gumtree/self-printed flyers door to door and in local shops? Worth a try?

EssieTregowan · 07/07/2017 14:09

Jesus I can't believe the first few replies are advice about what kind of sex work to do.

OP are you getting all the benefits you should? You've mentioned WTC but it doesn't sound like you're currently working. ESA? PIP? I know these are hideous to get but it is possible. Housing benefit, council tax benefit etc etc.

Please don't do sex work. It WILL fuck you up.

user1476869312 · 07/07/2017 14:10

Sex work is not the appropriate thing for you. Phone sex might be an option but as PP have said, the money really isn't all that good these days.
You do sound very vulnerable - can you talk to your GP or other HCPs you deal with? It's possible that there is more support available than you think and that you have overlooked something because you are (understandably) very frightened.

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:12

Dog walking companies need a commitment of 5 days a week, I have applied for several and turned down.

I rent 1 room in a shared house in what is probably an illegal HMO. Can't take a foreign student. Pity because I'd really enjoy that, if it was me in my own house with a spare room.

OP posts:
Birdsgottaf1y · 07/07/2017 14:12

I don't think that you are thinking straight.

Sex chat lines are a possibility.

Prostitutes get beaten up regularly, unless they work for an agency/brothel and even then, it can get nasty.

What makes up your income and why is it "running out at the rate of knots"?

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:17

My income is my PIP payment which has just been called to be re-assessed. I'm braced for it to be denied now, I will appeal but appeals take time and my housing benefit will be massively curtailed if my PIP is denied.

Supplemented by savings which I have doled out week by week and which are now running out - I don't know why you put that in quotation marks?

Is it hard to understand my turn of phrase or something?

OP posts:
GeekLove · 07/07/2017 14:18

haven't got any ideas but am bumping. Those who voted for these policies that treat vulnerable people this way should be ashamed of your self.
'I'm alright Jack' is a road to hell.

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 07/07/2017 14:23

If you are already working part time then take a deep breath. You're not going to be left with no benefits just because Universal Credit has been introduced to your area; it's just replacing other benefits.

I have no idea why you're suddenly contemplating sex work when all that's happening is that your benefits are coming under a different umbrella?!

Bananasinpyjamas11 · 07/07/2017 14:23

You need to manage your money. I know that sounds easy to say, I know it's tough with little money, but you are going to the path of 'it's all out of my control' when it isn't. It's in your control.

If you need to adjust your money, make a plan. Write out your budget. Get hold of the reins of your life and steer it.

I was given good advice - when life becomes hell - just keep going! There is light at the end of the tunnel.

unweavedrainbow · 07/07/2017 14:24

Do you not get any income related benefits (ESA or the equivalent components of UC) or HB (UC housing costs)? Yes, getting the Support component of UC will take time but the basic rate is the same as JSA + housing costs, which for you will be at "1 bedroom rate" due to your PIP, so somewhere between £150 to £200 a week while your ESA application goes through. PIP alone is not enough to live on.
As for your PIP reassessment, are you getting any help with that? Who helped with your original claim and has anything changed since then? I do welfare advice.

Zaphodsotherhead · 07/07/2017 14:24

Can you get retail work?

Usually a 16 hour minimum contract and NMW, but you can often tell them which days/hours you can work. It's very low stress and you don't need to be organised (god knows, I'm not!). As long as you can make change accurately and smile nicely at customers, and supermarkets are usually crying out for workers. Also you can often specify that you'd rather work tills and stay sitting down rather than shelf stacking etc...

angemorange · 07/07/2017 14:25

Can you get referral to food bank to help out? Your GP should be able to help.
Check out CAB or charities in your area - lots provide advice with benefits and support with appeals.
Unbelievable that in 2017 in a wealthy Western country we are having these sort of threads - human cost of Tory austerity.

Birdsgottaf1y · 07/07/2017 14:31

""- I don't know why you put that in quotation marks?
Is it hard to understand my turn of phrase or something?""

Quotation marks were used because it was your words.

If this is a new problem, it's reasonable to ask why you are suddenly in this predicament and if you can cut down spending in anyway.

I'm currently disabled, too disabled to work, but got turned down for PIP. My life is crap because of that, but I've had to cut right back and stay housebound.

I think you need proper benefit and housing advice.

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:32

There is NO DISABILITY ELEMENT for working tax credits under Universal Credit, DickieDavis!

I was/ am working part time sporadically as and when my health lets me and work was available, and had aspirations of finally finding a suitable job part time that I could do that would allow me to top up with wtc.

That hope is now dashed. With UC now in place, there is no top up if you have a disability. So once you earn beyond £70, that's it.

I have already applied for some supermarkets but will be applying for more. But part time in a supermarket with no top up equals poverty long term.

OP posts:
NanFlanders · 07/07/2017 14:34

Do you drive and have a car? If so, would you consider/would your health permit being an Uber or Deliveroo driver? I really think sex work would be dreadful for your mental health. So sorry you have been put in this situation.

LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:35

Birdsgottafly, it's a new problem because Universal Credit has been brought into my area. This means a change to the disabled working tax element.

I'm sorry you are in a shitty situation also, were you able to appeal your PIP? I get it that not everyone can - it's fucking exhausting, and when you're struggling with health already it can all just be too much.

OP posts:
LetMeOutOfTheNightmare · 07/07/2017 14:38

I don't have a car and not sure if I would even have be allowed if I did, unfortunately. I'm not legally permitted to do certain careers like the police, etc due to the risk of going unconscious.

OP posts:
scoobydoo1971 · 07/07/2017 14:38

Sex work is unpredictable, dangerous and may add to your health problems. You need to see a welfare expert at the citizens advice bureau to see what you are entitled to. In the meantime, you could take in a lodger (Rent-A-Room is tax free incentive), advertise in your local classifieds for freelance work shaped around whatever you can do. If you can drive then you could think about taxi or transport jobs? Public sector employers sometimes prioritise applications from people with disabilities as part of their quota targets and demonstrating they are positive about equality.

I work from home because I have numerous medical conditions that prevent me from working away from home. I am self employed so sick leave is not an option. I recently had surgery which went wrong - now on antibiotics and painkillers - and I had to keep working. Sometimes if you have the protection of an employment contract, it can help if you have health issues.

OlennasWimple · 07/07/2017 14:42

Enter competitions? Complete online surveys?

Matched betting (if you are very careful about what you are doing)?

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