To be scared of sex work as can't get WTC and worried my hip might dislocate? What can I do instead? Please help

[LetMeOutOfTheNightmare]

My head doesn't feel clear today, I'm very desperate, I'm disabled and running out of money at a rate of knots. Was ticking along ok hoping against hope I'd be ok with part time work and topping up with disability element of working tax credit. But Universal credit has been introduced to my area so I can't get WTC.

I don't have enough money. I don't have skills to allow me to earn more money. I can't hold down a full time job due to my health. My executive function, concentration etc is abysmal, as I am not neurotypical and regular panic attacks fuck with my concentration also.

Ideally I'd work outdoors doing something physical that doesn't require high levels of meticulous organisation, but my physical health doesn't allow that, certainly not more than a couple of days a week and then I couldn't be sure what days I'll be ok and what days I won't be ok as my condition fluctuates.

Sex work feels suitable from the point of view that it is physical (ie no deadlines of having to write reports, or transcribe documents that sort of thing) and in relatively short bursts.

Really really hate the idea of it as I don't think it would be good for mental health, and worried my dodgy hip might dislocate. I am terrified though. If I have absolutely zero money, and no access to any - like thousands of other women - what if I have no choice? What if it's that or not pay bills, get into arrears with rent, and then be taken to court or end up sleeping on the pavement or in a park??? I couldn't survive that, on a most basic level I need to keep my medication in a fridge. My council have warned me if I get into arrears with rent that would disqualify me from any help from them regarding homelessness.

What can I do instead? What do I do? I need a way out and I cannot think of anything.

Please if you have any ideas can you share? I'm so worried, and aware that being so worried means I'm not thinking straight.

With your housing situation being as vulnerable as it is its no wonder its having such a toll on your mental health. Getting support for this has to be your number one priority otherwise you will end up feeling completely overwhelmed.

I'd love to do babysitting, do you think that would work with an ad rather than through word of mouth?

Not done it since I was a teen and then it was all through people in the community my mum knew!

You could sign up with sitters to start with see how you got on

Instead of paying for you to travel to him could your partner lend you the money to move to his area?

Your living costs would be lower, you could use the £1000 deposit you get back from the current place to pay him back, you would be living much closer to support for you, and he wouldn't have to pay for you to travel.

Seems like a win-win option to me.

Good luck.

Really sorry it's such a nightmare for you. My DB has schizophrenia and any suggestion that his benefits are going to alter in any way means a major panic for him. But he's really fortunate to be living in supported accommodation with staff who he can talk through his concerns with.
Sounds like you've got no-one on hand who can help. I hope the CAB get back to you promptly next week. If not then I'm afraid you'll have to badger them.
Could you make an appointment with Crisis the housing charity? At the very least they would make you a cuppa and chat for a while.
What about Mind? They might have some sessions/advisors local to you.
Perhaps try the constituency MP/ward councillors? That way you're on their radar.

I feel for you - it's just rubbish. But at least you're asking for help - I hope someone comes up trumps.
all the best

Spookle, my DP is working abroad and has no place here in the UK. That country (not in EU) has no socialised health care system. It's very frustrating to us both because we would love to live together.

However, I could not afford to pay for my daily medication for my autoimmune diseases out of my own pocket, nor could DP. That's leaving out my other health issues.

With all due respect, to the posters suggesting babysitting, I'm not sure that someone in a panic that PIP might be cut therefore considering sex work despite it potentially putting her hip out is the best suggestion I've heard.
What the OP needs to do is see her GP and apply for ESA.

90shadesofnavy, I've been in touch with Shelter before and also a disability charity regarding my housing situation, there isn't anything they can do. Yeah Mind are an amazing charity, I really admire what they do, II don't think they have anything appropriate for me but I will have a look as these things change all the time. Thanks.

Please don't for a minute think about babysitting if you lose consciousness at times!!

Or sex work.

Let me, do you have to be in London if your partner is away and you seem to have no support network there?

Hope you get it sorted one way or another OP.

I was paying £250 a month for a room in a house 27 years ago in London so 900 is possible. I know 10 years ago a 2 bed flat was £800 in zone 2.

I keep thinking about that, DresdenShepherdess. I am very torn. I want to go far, far away, I'm fed up of the bloody impossible money situation. That's not me dissing London, I also love it, but what I mean is I am very tempted to try to go elsewhere. Somewhere with cheap rent!

What concerns me is what I have heard about public transport in towns and rural parts of the country. Buses seem to be very irregular, and fares are steep? A car isn't really a practical fix for many reasons right now, so I'm scared of being isolated and finding it hard to get around to my many hospital appointments, as well as obviously to other places you need to go.

I'm concerned too about losing the two consultants for my autoimmune conditions, they have been great in helping me. It's quite tricky to access the top specialists, and I really trust these people...I don't know.

Leaving London would also be accepting I will most likely never work in my former field ever again, in any capacity, which is a blow and very hard to accept. I always hoped someday I'd get back, in maybe a part time way. It's not like I was ever at the top of the career ladder, far from it, but I had made some small steps.

I'm afraid I don't have any particular advice, just wanted to post to counter some of the unnecessarily nasty posters on here.

It's definately possible to be paying 900 for a room, of the friends I have in london most pay 700 upwards.

Sorry you're having such a shitty time x

I am gobsmacked by some of the comments on here. Do people not realise that there are a lot of people affected in a very real way by these policies which push people into poverty, do people not realise women are forced into Sex Work by Hobson's choice often because of benefit cuts?? I hope the people who voted for these policies are proud.

Enter competitions, really ?? Great and very regular source of income there!! I have found some of the comments and advice really really helpful though. I am speaking as someone who has previously had to rely on Sex Work to live in the past, and right now if it were not for a little help of two months rent from my family I'd be back in it right now )-: )-: Have long term v painful health condition, single parent no family near, I got job last year which was going well but childminder left and there was no other childminder picking up from my child's school, asked boss but due to needs of business can't change hours - was treated as this was my fault by benefits and housing and recently sanctioned and disallowed jsa for "leaving a job voluntarily" (should I just leave young children outside a school for 2+ hours??) and housing are taking ages 6 weeks so far to assess my HB. Living only on Child Tax Credit and CB until Sep when start study (better hours). If I didn't have family help, I'd be back into Sex Work.

It's like some of you don't believe the OP.. Can assure you there are many many women who fall victim to policies or fall through the gaps, esp those with health problems, right now in sex work, sadly. A friend I worked with in the industry for years is another case - professional lady in her late forties, genuinely too ill to work more than sporadically at best anyone can see that - found totally "fit to work" after appeal , where is she now ?? sex work.

I feel so sad for you OP, I understand the fear or sex work vs the fear of grinding poverty. I am so sorry I don't have much advice , I have found advocates and sex work projects helpful at signposting to welfare rights and they can help with getting everything you are entitled to and I've had faster payments and food bank vouchers from them before. the problem is if the entitlement is cut or not enough to meet basics. Which DOES happen.

I know it's daunting, but Try to get all the help you can and keep trying. Please try EVERYTHING you can before Sex Work though. I know it can seem a solution but it is only a solution financially -

You will be in danger as you never know how a client might react there have been murders this year of even indoor workers,
You will take a long time to feel the same way about your body or about sex or men when you have been scrutinised and picked apart in person and online and heard them talk about their wives,
You may get depressed just with the fakeness
You will deal with a lot of nasties and crazies contacting and in person, possible stalkers
Even if you screen, some horribles will get through , and possibly attack or force - happened to me few times in few years
Some smell
You may meet unsavoury people who will try to harm you or manipulate - associates not just clients
, You will worry constantly about money, getting older and your appearance because looks=money=whole livlihood unless you are just doing it for pocket money,
You will worry about getting outed,
or getting an STI (oral without is expected pretty much 90% expect it and even with protected sex I still got genital herpes for life on my first week) ,
The money isn't that good unless you work from home (more dodgy and no no with children) , as you will have £50-£100 per day for a place to work, at least £10 a day for advertising , or driver's or security fees going to clients (not as popular as them coming to you) ,often they don't turn upand you are out pocket. The money is good - ish but not life changing unless you really work like mad, and it takes a huge huge toll which I can't estimate enough. I'd always try anything else first.

Please visit www.entitledto.co.uk a wbsite that works out exactly what benefits you will be entitled to given your situation including disability, employment, etc from your exact income.

If you're in a universal credit area it will work out what amount of UC you're entitled to taking into consideration income and outgoings like rent.

public transport is v good in Manchester and Liverpool, and the Manchester Royal Infirmary is on one of the busiest bus routes in Europe, so extremely accessible by public transport. Manchester would have more job opportunities than Liverpool.

Manchester is a lovely city

Please please please contact your local citizens advice for a meeting. They can talk you through all benefit options, including ESA. It sounds like you would probably qualify for the work related activity group, depending on your condition possibly even the support group.

Hildegard..........great post. I was working in a sex chatline office 15/16 years ago It was a choice between that or workfare which the JC was forcing me to carry on with. I found the chatline job in the local paper and ended up working there for two and a half years. (DH has always been in poor health but is even worse now and is now retired but back then i had to be the breadwinner and the chatline job had better pay than the jobs i wasnt being offered) i had already been through months of workfare at this point and Reed New Deal/Pelcombe at the JC wanted me to do another 3 months workfare at a soup factory for my JSA. I would have been fine with that if it had been an actual wage.

The chatline job employer and colleugues actually treated me with more respect than any workfare placement or any actual other employment ive ever had.
Unpalatable for some but also the truth.

The options are more varied than London or somewhere rural. Liverpool, Manchester, Birmingham or Nottingham are all cheaper than London with great public transport. Could you look up what areas haven't moved to UC yet and arn't planning to soon?

Of course someone who now may find themselves in the situation i was in 16 years ago is more likely to end up in sex work or webcam work as phone chatlines are considered rather old hat now.

If you're getting housing benefit does that not mean that your area hasn't fully moved over to UC yet? In some areas UC is limited to single people who are fit for work and who don't have any dependents. So you may still be able to claim wtc, esa etc rather than UC. You. Oils try making a claim online and see if it lets you progress when you say you have a health condition.

Do speak to mind. They sometimes offer help with employment as well. And get a full benefits check.

I agree though that long term you probably need to look at moving elsewhere, living in London is clearly not a happy experience. If you have strong family ties in another area you might be eligible to apply for council housing.

I don't have any family ties to any area. My mother is dead and I did not grow up with a father. I have not lived anywhere outside of London for many years. I have some other family members living abroad. They are not keen at me coming to stay with them.

I thought ESA was one of the benefits being replaced by Universal Credit?

There's so much complicated information and conflicting information out there it's hard to dissect it. The CAB lady was really lovely but when I look online at official websites, a couple of things she said don't seem to be right. She did however say she was going to check stuff and send me information next week.