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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help me with a "Hell no!" reply, please.

999 replies

AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 06/07/2017 19:55

Seriously- someone left the gate open at Cheeky Fuckerland this week!

It's my birthday in 9 days. (Actually, it's my bday on Monday- but I'm celebrating in 9 days). I don't usually do anything, but it seems like an absolute age since we all got together, so I've organized a curry night at home. A few mates and their kids, music, etc.

I've got a whatsapp group (lazy, couldn't be arsed to send the same text 170 times😂), which the girl in question is a part of. It's been a bit of a riot on there (people suggesting silly themes, etc, all good fun). She hasn't said a word on it.

She pinged me privately and said "my five are excited about next Saturday- they love Aunty Radley's cooking", etc, etc. And then the clanger (I think)

"What time is (my DH) picking them up? It'll have to be before 3 because I've arranged to go out".

Um...HUH?

I said she must have got her wires crossed- she was invited WITH the DC, and I've askrd everyone to arrive at about 5.30-6! (This is why I mentioned the Whatsapp group btw- these details have been mentioned several times on there, with people joking that they'd be arriving by private jet 😂).

Answer: "They'll be fine coming to yours early. I'll bang their sleeping bags in the boot and DH can drop them off about 3pm on Sunday".

I haven't replied.

I don't want to be responsible for five other kids without their parent there! We have no room for them to sleep over either! My DC share a room in a two bedroomed apartment. It'll be a squeeze getting everyone in on Saturday night, but that's always part of the fun.

In a nutshell:

Am I being selfish? I want to let my hair down as much as I can that night- anyone who's read my other active thread will know it's been a stressful month, and I need it!

If IANBU, please help me craft a reply.

If IABU and completely selfish, help me somehow work out a sleepover arrangement? How practical is it to squeeze 7 kids into one roome? (DB will be sleeping over in the lounge, and he snores like a lawnmower on acid, so impossible to share a room with, much as I love him)

?????

OP posts:
Thread gallery
16
calzone · 07/07/2017 14:26

I have read the full thread but just checking.......

Has she replied since you said Goodbye in your text?

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:29

Calzone I've had a guilt trip text saying that her DS had wet the bed as he was so distressed about not coming. I've heard things from mutual friends too. I'm the Worst Friend Ever apparantly!

OP posts:
rollonthesummer · 07/07/2017 14:30

What has she actually told these friends you have done?

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:32

If I'm quiet, it's because I have to go and have a chat with DS's teacher/do the school run.

We are then going out to spend a few Cheeky Fucker vouchers- really! I got locked in the disabled loo at a pub a few weeks ago, and I had to complain about the attitude of the staff. They've sent me £20 of Marston's vouchers through, plus given the staff a bollocking about customer service, apparantly!

Does this make me as bad as HNF?

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 07/07/2017 14:37

Sorry Fell asleep. I promised radley id actually watch pretty little liars so she can discuss/rant about it when i see see her. This lead to episode 8, realising its time for the school run and then needing actual sleep when i got back. Ironically its now almost time for the pick up lol.
Ill type it up now

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:40

PRETEEEEEEND!!!!

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 07/07/2017 14:45

radddddllllllleeeeeeeeeyyyyyyy
Coooooooo-eeeeeeee

Grapeeatingweirdo · 07/07/2017 14:46

OP, I LOVE you. Be my friend! I promise to never ask anything unreasonable of you :D

milliemolliemou · 07/07/2017 14:47

I would seriously be careful she doesn't just dump them on your doorstep with sleeping bags if she's that determined.

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:48

Nah- they wouldn't get through the door now. And enough people have cars that they can just be dropped off at her parents' if she pulls that bollocks!

OP posts:
WhyOhWine · 07/07/2017 14:50

If her DC are so upset that they are wetting the bed, why cant she cancel her date and bring them to the party?

Did she take the opportunity of you having the party to arrange the date (without checking it was ok with you) or did she have a date arranged and saw your party as a solution to her childcare problems?

TheNoodlesIncident · 07/07/2017 14:52

Were you crocheting the teachers' bookmarks? What with you on your arse all day crocheting and all...?

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:54

Ha! Yes, I was crocheting the teacher's bookmarks. A bit naff, I know- but they sell quite well!

And yes- I think she saw it as an opportunity!

OP posts:
frieda909 · 07/07/2017 14:54

I'm sorry but even if you are THE COOLEST Auntie ever (which I don't doubt as you sound fab!) I really can't imagine what kind of kids would be soooo upset about not being dragged to an adult's birthday party. I used to find that kind of thing so boring as a child and always wanted to go home to play with my own toys and things.

If her kids are really that distressed then I'm certain it'll be because of the way she's told them and the attitude she's giving off about the whole thing.

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 14:55

"Sitting on my arse crocheting all day"

I couldn't even argue with this- it's what I do for my WORK! 😂

and how I've got through 6 Simpsons seasons in a week

OP posts:
Hidingtonothing · 07/07/2017 15:02

Re: shagzilla's latest text, as has already been pointed out she always had the option of bringing them and cancelling her own plans so the only person to blame for them being upset is her, also how has she got (presumably) several years into her DC's lives without learning that you NEVER tell them about any parties/events etc until you're 100% sure they're going to happen, again no one's fault but her own for mentioning it before you'd confirmed (or not as it happened) her plan was ok. Did you reply to the bed wetting text Radley?

Pretenditsaplan · 07/07/2017 15:04

So partyzilla 2.0

Couple of years ago i get an in inbox from radley simply saying when you come to the party could you bring your facepaints? The one we booked has fell through. I'll pay you. My first reaction was what party? radley has form for this of leaving it up to the dh who forgets he hasnt asked me.

But i dont mind i knew it wasnt malicious and tbh it was her friends surprise party so i wouldnt of expected to be there. I agree. Spend all night sorting my facepainting kit so its ready.

Next morning go to town buy crap for a mini raffle for the kids extra hair clips to keep hair out of eyes etc. Come home make raffle tickets and wrap the prizes and number them. Then taxi halfway across the city and set up a little area in the garden to do my thing.

radley has organised the entire thing and produced a gorgeous cake.

Birthday girl was already drunk when i arrived.

I spend 2 hours doing faces, stop for food and continue on. I arrived at 2 and finished working about 7. I got bgirl to draw the names of the raffle and give out prizes and then sat back pleased with my work. Im not a professional and id never done paid facepainting before but it was fun and kids arnt too fussy.

Bday girl at 8 just as im packing up to go home (small emergency that i had to get back for but i had intended to stay longer) lurches up to me. "You werent invited why are you here?" Im stunned ive had about 5 conversations with her today already.

"I was invited and i did the facepaint"
"Well were not paying you. You had something to eat i saw you!"
radley had insisted i stop and eat something when the food was ready. It was boiling and i had been working in the full sun.
"Your not paying me anyway radley's dh is. In fact he already has. With a tip.
"Your facepainting was shit. Im going to tell him to get the money back off you"

At that point i left. Shed been telling me all day how good it was and thanks for stepping in when the original dropped out. I go to wait outside for a taxi. Shes in the front room loudly complaining the flowers on her cake are wonky (the cake shes been raving about all day)

It was at that point i knew she was a twat. Took radley about 9 months more to get out of the cess pit of their lives but now shes free

Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 15:06

Not ywt, no- because I'd feel bad actually replying to a text about bedwerring with my usual mix of sark and pissedoffness. Anything else, hell yes- but we've struggled ourselves with the bedwetting issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
AllRoadsLeadBackToRadley · 07/07/2017 15:16

My side of FacePaintZilla...

Pretend knew my "friend". They were friends on fbk, had met, and I was told to invite her! (Which DH never did!)

The facepainter let us down at the last minute. Me and Pretend have that kind of relarionship- it was platonic Love At First Sight- where we can drop this shit on each other. So I did!

She was AMAZING!!! Many of the adults were having theirs done too!

I found out about the "slating session" months later- she hadn't dared tell me.

OP posts:
Pretenditsaplan · 07/07/2017 15:21

It wasnt that i hadnt dare tell you more i know your views on side talking and i knew youd be furious and at the time you two were getting on and i didnt want to risk the two of you arguing and falling while you were stressed about other things

Hortonlovesahoo · 07/07/2017 15:21

@pretend: you're an absolute Saint! I would have called out the birthday girl!

@allroads: I'd definitely not do it. Sit on your arse a bit more and make them for paying customers!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 07/07/2017 15:24

PARTYzilla should realise that if you make the decision to have 5 children (even if you have a supportive partner in tow) that the likelihood of friends /mugs taking all 5 off your hands at the same time is not as straightforward as someone looking after 2 extra children.
It's on a par with WORKzilla... "you've only got 2 children and I've got 5 so it's only fair that you look after mine" Shock WFT face

SongforSal · 07/07/2017 15:26

I thought WORKzilla was utterly bonkers. This is bat-shit down the rabbit hole stuff! Who in their right mind accepts an invitation to an actual birthday party, and interprets it as sending 5 kids for a sleepover instead!? I'm wound up on your behalf OP. Do your mates on the WhatsApp group know whats gone down?

MadMags · 07/07/2017 15:34

I know the troll accusations passed pages ago but I also know Radley from the PLL thread.

She's no troll.

But she's a great one for a conspiracy theory! Grin

This is shocking. I have a feeling she'll try something else soon, be on your guard!

PoorYorick · 07/07/2017 15:38

This is odd.