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AIBU?

Wtf? I helped stuff the bags!!!

91 replies

Patriciathestripper1 · 05/07/2017 23:46

Met my friend at toddler group when our kids were 2. 10 years on and we still meet once a week for coffee. Our girls have play dates and we support each other in our relationships mostly via txt! Girls meet for birthday party's etc.. always got on great.
Sounds great dosnt it?
But I didn't get invited to her daughters communion and a mutual freind (who she only got to know via me 2 years ago via me) went. Am I right to feel pissed off??

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Patriciathestripper1 · 05/07/2017 23:47

Oh and I helped fill the communion favour bags for the table!! Insult to injury or what??

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RuggerHug · 05/07/2017 23:49

Are you Catholic? She could just be inviting religious people, it's not just a party like a birthday.

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Patriciathestripper1 · 05/07/2017 23:52

no I'm not, but neither was the mutual friend she invited.

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MyKingdomForBrie · 05/07/2017 23:53

That is very awkward. I'd be drawing back from that friendship, she's made it clear how she values you.

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BumWad · 05/07/2017 23:54

Not as a good a friend as you thought unfortunately

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Ladybirdbookworm · 05/07/2017 23:54

I was at my neices first holy communions last week and it wasn't by invitation. You just basically turn up for the communion Mass and the children have a celebration party afterwards.
I didn't invite any of my friends to my daughters- they just turned up ....I'm sure she didn't think you would need an invite and I bet she didn't invite the other friend either .

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avamiah · 05/07/2017 23:58

Patricia,
Yes your right to be very annoyed and feel very hurt .
A similar situation happened to me, it was a Christening for two twin girls and I thought I would be asked to be godmother as I am catholic and she is my very best friend and our elder children are very best friends and went to nursery together and see each other all the time.
I was at the Christening but was not asked to be godmother.
I know it is because my daughters father isn't catholic and we are not married.
So my question would be, are you catholic?
Has your daughter taken communion?

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Patriciathestripper1 · 05/07/2017 23:59

lady yes-she did invite other friend (i asked her) written invite. Feel quite upset about it and agree with my and bum_
I've always supported and helped her in the past.

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stella23 · 06/07/2017 00:00

You have to ask her why?

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Patriciathestripper1 · 06/07/2017 00:03

avamiah I am nota practicing catholic but my daughter did do her communion (she wanted to do wouldn't have stopped her and we had a great day) friend came with her daughters.

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MommaGee · 06/07/2017 00:05

Agree with above - talk to her. 10 years of friendship.
Did you know the date? Did you assume Yoi were juat coming?

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Maudlinmaud · 06/07/2017 00:07

Yes I'd feel annoyed. I wouldn't say anything now though. It's over and done with, what's the point. I'd cool things off with that friend.

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Seeingadistance · 06/07/2017 00:14

Maybe she simply assumed that you would be there, and didn't think you needed a formal invitation as you are so close, and helped her with the preparations.

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avamiah · 06/07/2017 00:16

Patricia,
Then I'm lost to why she didn't invite you.
So your friend came to your daughters communion?

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TheAntiBoop · 06/07/2017 00:17

Maybe she's brooding because you didn't show up. Maybe she only sent paper invited to those not involved.

I wouldn't cool a friendship without discussing it first

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Patriciathestripper1 · 06/07/2017 00:19

No she had a fair few family coming from France and I helped her get beds arranged ect. She told me about family meal booked at hotel but never mentioned party at house once. I only found out after asking to see pics of daughter in dress and then saw party pics in same album. Felt well gutted.

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avamiah · 06/07/2017 00:22

Patricia,
After reading your posts I have to say in my opinion something doesn't add up.
You need to just ask her straight as it is bothering you rightly to .

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MeanAger · 06/07/2017 00:25

Communion isn't an invitation thing where I am. It's parents and, if available, grandparents. It's not like a wedding. Certainly no favour bags! I've never heard of that at a communion! They do it with all their classmates so there is no way the chapel could accommodate tonnes of family members. Is it a very different affair where you are?

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TheMysteriousJackelope · 06/07/2017 00:27

I hope that as you were helping with arrangements she probably considered you 'family' and didn't think to give you a formal written invitation. Otherwise that's a really tacky thing to do, to have someone help organize an event and then not invite them.

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Maudlinmaud · 06/07/2017 00:28

Mean party favours, cake, cup cakes and bouncy castles are the norm here.

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chocatoo · 06/07/2017 00:33

I think you should let her know how hurt you feel and ask her to explain. Similar things have happened to me in the past and I have regretted not taking a brave pill and asking!

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MeanAger · 06/07/2017 00:35

Wow. Never seen that. And invitations to people who aren't family? Like a wedding?

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BenLui · 06/07/2017 00:38

I would also ask, maybe just say:

"The photos from the communion celebration are lovely, I hope you all had a good day? I was a bit disappointed not to be invited..."

And see what she says.

Is it possible your invitation went awry?

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BenLui · 06/07/2017 00:38

I've also had formal written invitations to a first communion.

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nocoolnamesleft · 06/07/2017 01:10

Communion favour bags??? Wow. Things have changed.

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