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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not have dd dry at night in time for reception?

88 replies

Flapjack85 · 04/07/2017 08:41

Hello, I've been trying for a while to get dd (age 4) out of training pants overnight, she is completely toilet trained during the day since he age of 2 but is showing absolutely no signs of being ready not to wear anything at night. I've stopped her drinking after 4pm, I've woken her up in the night and out her in the toilet but she still has accidents. I really don't want her to start Primary School and still be wearing nappies at night, that makes me feel like I've let her down. Last night I decided maybe wearing nappies was making her rely on them instead of waking to wee so I put down the bed mats and let her go to bed not wearing a nappy, woke her up at 9 for a wee, two hours later she'd wet herself, changed her knickers and pads, we were up a further four times between 11 and 4am, is this normal? It seems an excessive amount of weeing in the night? Is it normal for children to start school still in nappies overnight? What can I do? Thanks in advance

OP posts:

MsMarvel · 04/07/2017 08:43

Dsd has only just become reliably dry at night, at 9 years old.

From my experience, there is absolutely nothing you can do to hurry it along. There's a hormone that is produced to stop the body from urinating when sleeping. Its just a case of waiting for it to kick in.

PinkSnowAndStars · 04/07/2017 08:44

My little boy is coming to the end of his reception year, and like yours has been dry in the day since he was 2. School have no need to know, and the doctors aren't worried until he's 7! So I wouldn't panic

kingfishergreen · 04/07/2017 08:46

I can't speak for what's a normal amount of wee, several times a night seems excessive but I'm not a medical professional. Could she possibly be storing-up some of her her daytime wees (hence nice being dry during the day) and then it all comes out when she's asleep?

A note of reassurance I wasn't dry at night until I was 7 or so, nothing medically or psychologically wrong, just a weak bladder and deep sleeper. It was inconvenient (made sleepovers impossible), but I am not lastingly damaged by it, some kids just take longer to learn to wake to pee.

Ilovecoleslaw · 04/07/2017 08:46

I'm more concerned that youe DD isn't having any fluids from 4pm till when she wakes up?? Well over 12 hours which is not good for her at all.
Regarding the wet nights, i second msMarvel about the hormone kicking in

Fantail · 04/07/2017 08:47

DD wasn't dry in the night until 5 yrs 3 months. Dry during the day since just before she turned 3.

Nights are apparently a chemical thing that happens in the brain. A lot of kids won't be dry at night. It will just happen.

LookAtAllTheBullshit · 04/07/2017 08:49

As long as she is dry during the day it's no problem.
Night times have nothing to do with school.
The hormone referred to earlier is anti-diuretic hormone and is produced by the body later than 4.
She won't be reliant on pull ups and limiting drinks has no real effect. She's more likely to develop stronger urine which is an irritant the bladder wants to expel.

RedSandYellowSand · 04/07/2017 08:51

Night dryness isn't something you can train for.
Put her back in nappies/pyjama pants, and let her sleep all night - forget even waking her on your way to bed. Reintroduce fluids until about 6pm - certainly allow a drink with her final meal.
And wait it out. The GP wont be interested until she is 7.

steppedonlego · 04/07/2017 08:54

I'd advise to keep going with the going nappyless in the night, especially with this warm weather where they can just have a blanket which is easy to wash. Have a training/puppy pad then sheet, then pad then sheet then pad etc. Makes for a quick 5 minute change, put everything in a laundry bag, give fresh blanket and back to bed.

My friend with a boy a couple of years older advised me to do this when my daughter was two and I mentioned how she was dry in day but I didn't think she was ready at night. First night was like yours, but I'm glad I persisted because she's completely dry at night now. There might perhaps be an accident once a month or so after a particularly exhausting day, but it was worth the couple of nights of sleeplessness.

A1Sharon · 04/07/2017 08:55

Why are you so keen to have her dry at night OP?
I agree that not allowing fluids after 4pm is a bit much. It is completely normal for a child to not be dry at night at this age. A GP would not be remotely interested in this, it will happen at some stage in the next few years.

Original poster

Flapjack85 · 04/07/2017 08:56

Ok thanks everyone, to be fair we only tried the 4pm for a few nights and it made no difference whatsoever so we went back to her taking a bottle of water up to bed, she didn't often drink it's but at least it's there if she does get thirsty. I had read about the hormone thing but then I hear about people who's three year olds are dry at night. Well you've put my mind at rest anyway thank you

OP posts:

Vinorosso74 · 04/07/2017 08:56

Yep you need to wait until the hormone kicks in (can't remember the name). This can be up to about age 7 so nothing to worry about.
I wouldn't limit her fluid intake especially over the summer. However make sure it's not blackcurrant juice as that can make you need to pee!

littlebillie · 04/07/2017 08:58

Don't worry they are still babies at 4 it took my DD years to get it right and we would have months of dry and then start again. I would get the wet guard bed sheets although you have to wash more we found it a better message. Also we never got cross at an accident it was just a bit sad!

EsmereldaMargaretNoteSpelling · 04/07/2017 08:58

My 11yo isn't 100% rock solid dry at night and he's off to secondary in September! Yes we're under consultant care and yes it's been a long, difficult, and emotional journey. In short night time dryness is usually a hormone production problem, nothing you can 'train' out of them.

mumeeee · 04/07/2017 08:59

Night dryness is completely different to day dryness. You can't train a child to be dry at night. They won't be dry until a certain hormone ( can't remember the name)kicks in.
The official advise is not to stop them drinking as not drinking enough actually causes them to wee more at night.
I know this as when my DD was attending the Enuresis clinic she was told to have at least 7 drinks a day. We found when she didn't drink she wet the bed

Purplemac · 04/07/2017 08:59

Not being dry at night once she has started school is not a problem whatsoever. It's not like day time potty training where they learn to do it, they have no control over it and at age 4 it's not unusual.

Keeping her off fluids from 4pm isn't right though, please please don't do this, especially since it's not working anyway!

Nowwhatisit · 04/07/2017 09:01

www.eric.org.uk
This website is great for all the info. I wouldn't worry about it, maybe get her urine checked at Gp then put her back in pull ups for a bit until she's more ready. The disturbed nights would be more of an issue in reception I would think. Only an issue when they start doing overnight trips, sleepovers etc

DixieNormas · 04/07/2017 09:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhenTheDragonsCame · 04/07/2017 09:05

My youngest was dry in the day just before her 2nd birthday but at nearly 7 she still isn't anywhere near dry at night. If she is upset about it after her birthday I will look at taking her to the doctors.

There is a website that I have been told is really good for advice but can't remember the name. Will try and find it now.

theymademejoin · 04/07/2017 09:05

Have a look at
www.webmd.com/children/features/bedwetting-causes

It's not at all unusual at her age. The only restricting of liquids I would do is the type. Fizzy drinks, those containing caffeine etc can irritate the bladder so stock to way water and juice.

NotAPuffin · 04/07/2017 09:07

DD isn't dry at night and she just turned 7. She just wears pullups, we're not bothered and she's okay with it as long as her friends don't know.

DS, on the other hand, was dry at night before he turned 3 and has never once had an accident. We did the same things with both of them.

Don't worry about it, everyone's body is different. She'll get there when she's ready.

WhenTheDragonsCame · 04/07/2017 09:07

Nowwhatisit has already linked to it.

The Paediatric Occupational Therapists recommended the Eric website to me earlier this year.

Glumglowworm · 04/07/2017 09:11

Night dryness won't affect her at school. I'd be surprised if she's the only child in her class who isn't tbh. Unlike daytime dryness which you can train, nighttime dryness is impossible until they're physically ready and she isn't yet.

Caroian · 04/07/2017 09:12

My son is coming to the end of reception and not dry at night. Agree with previous posters - you can't really "train" children in to night time dryness. With the amount of times that she was wet, it really sounds like she isn't yet producing enough of the anti-diuretic hormone overnight, and that is something which will just come when it comes. It's a biological things which she and you have no more control over than what size shoes she is wearing. Look at the stats for percentages of children who are not dry at each age - it really isn't anything to be concerned about yet, lots of children start school without being dry at night, and you certainly haven't "let her down".

That said, you are right to try out of pull ups from time to time. Some children do come to rely on them. The ERIC website has lots of good info too. www.eric.org.uk/

MiaowTheCat · 04/07/2017 09:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zoemaguire · 04/07/2017 09:26

Really, there is nothing you can do. We had one child dry at night at 2.5 years, and the other at 6.5 years. The only concerning thing about the difference was how much more we had to spend on nappies!!! There is absolutely no chance that she'll be the only child in reception still not dry at night.

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