AIBU to not have dd dry at night in time for reception?

[Flapjack85]

Hello, I've been trying for a while to get dd (age 4) out of training pants overnight, she is completely toilet trained during the day since he age of 2 but is showing absolutely no signs of being ready not to wear anything at night. I've stopped her drinking after 4pm, I've woken her up in the night and out her in the toilet but she still has accidents. I really don't want her to start Primary School and still be wearing nappies at night, that makes me feel like I've let her down. Last night I decided maybe wearing nappies was making her rely on them instead of waking to wee so I put down the bed mats and let her go to bed not wearing a nappy, woke her up at 9 for a wee, two hours later she'd wet herself, changed her knickers and pads, we were up a further four times between 11 and 4am, is this normal? It seems an excessive amount of weeing in the night? Is it normal for children to start school still in nappies overnight? What can I do? Thanks in advance

Yes, try to relax about this OP. I have twins: one has been dry at night since 3, the other regularly wets the bed at 6. It's slowly getting better. If your DD wets the bed so many times still, there is no way her body is ready to sleep through.

If she feels bad about nappies, you can use a cotton waterproof sheet and a towel underneath her. You can train her to pull it off when wet at night herself and climb back into a dry bed (I also have a spare duvet by the side, if needed). But that whole method only works if she wets herself just once a night.

You're stressing yourself and her out. Poor thing. Put her back in nappies/pull ups at night and revisit in a few months. My eldest son was nearly 5 when he went dry at night: other kids were dry at 4 or still aren't at nearly 7. And it's nothing to do with school. It's not something you can train into her - it will happen when her body is ready. It has no reflection on your parenting skills, either! Don't make it an issue now and it won't be in the future. Make it an issue and you will give her anxiety about something that's outside her and your control.
Good luck!

I'm like zoemaguire - my 3 year old has been dry at night for a year - with no effort on either of our parts, he just started waking up with a dry nappy and after a couple of weeks we stopped putting them on (he's never had an accident).

The 6 year old still wears pull ups at night, he's had less than 10 dry overnight nappies in his whole life - and that's with us trying the whole list of suggestions from the NHS (next step would be an alarm - but he sleeps with his brother). No point you being guilty - and you don't want your daughter to feel ashamed about it, just wait and see. We're thinking about a visit to the doctor with DS1, just to check there's nothing wrong (seems healthy in all other ways) - but we're not in a rush.

DS1 was 11 before he was dry and tried various techniques, wasted lots of money and time and it eventually happened on its own. He was lucky that medication worked for sleepovers and residentials as long as we had three days notice. It was much easier when we accepted it is what it is.

DS is coming up 8 and not dry at night. DD has been reliable 99% of the time since 2 1/2. There's no training you can do for this one.

Quite a few of DS's classmates were still wearing pull ups at night in reception. My nephew wasn't dry at night until 6-ish.

My dd suddenly became dry at night once she was 5yrs old and a bit! Nothing you can do to hurry it along just relax about it! She was toilet trained since 18months approx. Every kid is different. My younger dd became clean day and night all at once when she turned 2. Again I didn't do anything particular just followed her lead. Just relax! :)

It's totally normal at this age. My DS went on his year 6 residential trip wearing pull ups at night and he wasn't the only one.

None of mine have been dry at night until at least 6 years old and not dry in the day until 4 or nearly that.

Both of mine were dry in the day just after their second birthday
Ds1 was dry at night from about 4.5, ds2 is just gone 5 and not dry yet.

It's hormone related, don't panic - just wait for it to happen on its own

My Dd was dry in daytime from two but not dry at night until five.
I worried about it not at all, it didn't affect anything at school and she had no stress at home.

They are all different, my friends child was dry day and night from a young age except could not poo on the toilet at all, really truly panicked by it. If forced to try the child would hold it, and cause stomach pain for days on end.
They had to put a nappy on this child to poo until they were five. My friend tried everything and was so worried about it but it's just a memory now, the child uses the toilet perfectly normally now!
I am only telling you this so you know loads of kids take longer and really I would not create an unsolvable stressful issue for you or them, they will get there.

Don't deny her drinks.

Mine were all dry at night before they were 4 but they are also all very light sleepers and always have been - I think it's connected. My boys were both late to be daytime dry but both ditched night nappies on the same day as day nappies and were dry from then on (one had a few accidents, one has never wet the bed having ditched night nappies at 2 and 9 months and is almost 10 now). DD was dry in the day at only just 2 but we didn't think to try nights at the same time (she is dc1) and did the whole rigmorole of starcharts and wet beds when she was 3.5. Looking back I think we made heavy weather of it with her!

We never limited drinks. We also never had a dry nappy before ditching them - so I don't believe either are remotely necessary.

It is a hormone which kicks in though - no badge or sign of good parenting to have a preschooler night dry.

Just annecdotally "good" / heavy sleepers seem to be night dry years later than light sleeping early risers - a bit of karma for those of us who went years with severely disturbed sleep while friends with good sleepers assumed we were being too soft and making rods for our own backs not to have any worries about getting them out of night nappies I think!

I wish that anecdote applied to mine. Heavy sleepers when they're actually asleep, but very early (5.30 even now!!) risers

I wet the bed until I was 13. I was also a nuisance to potty train and generally have crap bladder control! I wasn't a good sleeper, I would wake straight after i'd wet/mid way through. Just never before. I never felt the urge. I wake to wee every night and i'm an adult.

My sister has never wet the bed. She was a breeze potty training! Hardly any accidents. She's a very heavy sleeper, difficult to wake etc, but she's only ever woke a handful of times to wee in the night.

School never knew I wet the bed till I was that late.
My mum did the same with both of us. I've never felt 'let down' or anything - it's just how it is.

My best friend has 6 sisters who all wet the bed till they were 8. She'd never wet the bed.

We're all different - I wouldn't worry!

Ah ok, guess the heavy sleepers thing doesn't hold. I did say it was just an annecdote :o I must say at baby and toddler groups I got so many head tilts and crap patronising advice about my 4 hours to settle to sleep, awake every hour dc3 (and to a lesser extent dc1 who would only sleep on me til she was 4 or 5 months) that when all mine were easily night dry without any headaches for me it felt a bit like karma that all the people with whose babies had slept a few hours at a stretch from birth consistently and slept 10-12 hours through from a few months old and offered comments like "you need a routine, my baby has always slept well because we have a bedtime routine" or "don't go to the baby if s/he's just grumbling, you probably pick him/her up too quickly" or the eternal gem "well I wouldn't put up with that, I like my bed" were struggling and hand wringing over something that parents actually have equally little control over a bit!

Sorry, mamoth low punctuation paragraph I blame the flash back to being told that my baby obviously didn't sleep because I didn't "like my bed" enough!

DS is still not reliable at 7. Some kids take longer. My others were fine by 3 and 4 go figure.

My older two were going on 6 before they were out of night nappies. Ds2 wanted to ditch them aged nearly 4, so we tried for a couple of nights, but he'd wet the bed without even noticing so I said I thought we'd better go back to them.

Day nappies stopped when they were about 3.5. In both cases very few accidents and no 'training' required.

It really is essentially physiological.

My son was in night time nappies til end of year 1. In reception and onwards I would carry him to the loo at around 10pm, plonk him on for a wee then take him back to bed (he'd barely wake). When the nappies started to be dry on waking at 7am, then we took them off and just went to taking him to the loo at 10ish…this lasted probably until he was in year 3 to be honest! If we didn't take him to the loo he'd wet the bed. Eventually he started waking and taking himself to the loo at this time, or sleeping through when he didn't need it.

Your child will be ready when they are ready- don't worry. It's a gradual thing for many children. Just invest in some waterproof sheets as well- Ikea do good cheap ones so it's possible to have spares.

There's no need for her to be dry at night age 4.

I'm more worried about her going to bed thirsty from reading this! Why restrict fluids after 4 pm? Would you go without a drink from them yourself?

I've got twins - they were dry during the day from 2 and a half and DD1 was dry in the night from about the same time, but now they are 5 and DD2 is still not dry in the night. I mentioned it to the GP at their last checkup and like others here was told not to stress until she's 7 or so. She has recently moved from pampers pants to I think it's Huggies, that do the Frozen ones? I really love the fact that we now live in a world where kids don't have to feel under pressure for this. They can't control night dryness, only day, and it sounds like your DD has got that sorted OP so she is ready for school!

My D's was 8 before she was dry at night. We bought a bed alarm that woke her up when she did a wee. We used it for a few nights and that sorted her out.

Just annecdotally "good" / heavy sleepers seem to be night dry years later than light sleeping early risers - a bit of karma for those of us who went years with severely disturbed sleep while friends with good sleepers assumed we were being too soft and making rods for our own backs not to have any worries about getting them out of night nappies I think!

ROFL - holds for mine - unfortunately I have one of each :D

DS2 (4) still leaks a bit most nights. He instigated toilet training in the day just before 2.5 and got the hang of it quicker. By contrast, DS1 was 3 and not showing much enthusiasm in the day, but got there in a couple of months. He was dry at night a few months later.

For one pull up a night, at this stage I'm not worried and there's little hardship. (Environmental guilt appeased by the two in nappies umpteen times a day phase being done in washable nappies)

We've had Brownies on sleepover/ camp with pull ups. Sometimes it's been due to medical issues, sometimes just a phase that recurs. As long as we know about it we can deal with it subtly and sensitively. The only time night wetting is a problem is when we're given no warning and the girls are left to cover it up by themselves (and haven't had enough spare clothing...)

Thanks for the replies everyone. I feel so much better about and will probably put the pull ups on her again from tonight and not take them off until we get our first dry night. I had already stopped her not drinking after four after a few days, if she had asked for a drink I would of course had given it to her. She's asleep in bed by 6.30pm and sleeps through till 7am so she was never going that long without a drink before bed anyway. Good to know it's completely normal, I've only got one friend with a child the same age as my dd and he's been try at night for well over a year so I thought hat wasn't the norm, I see now it isn't.

*thought that was the norm