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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not have dd dry at night in time for reception?

88 replies

Flapjack85 · 04/07/2017 08:41

Hello, I've been trying for a while to get dd (age 4) out of training pants overnight, she is completely toilet trained during the day since he age of 2 but is showing absolutely no signs of being ready not to wear anything at night. I've stopped her drinking after 4pm, I've woken her up in the night and out her in the toilet but she still has accidents. I really don't want her to start Primary School and still be wearing nappies at night, that makes me feel like I've let her down. Last night I decided maybe wearing nappies was making her rely on them instead of waking to wee so I put down the bed mats and let her go to bed not wearing a nappy, woke her up at 9 for a wee, two hours later she'd wet herself, changed her knickers and pads, we were up a further four times between 11 and 4am, is this normal? It seems an excessive amount of weeing in the night? Is it normal for children to start school still in nappies overnight? What can I do? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 04/07/2017 09:30

Unless they have any overnight trips in reception I really don't think it matters. Lots of children have accidents in reception classes, they are still little.

HipsterHunter · 04/07/2017 09:34

Night time dryness is driven by producing Anti-diuretic hormone (ADH) which happens at different stages for different children.

AS long as she is otherwise happy, normal and healthy give it time.

onemouseplace · 04/07/2017 09:41

DD1 was nearly at the end of Reception before she was dry overnight, and she is an Autumn baby - daytime trained from 2.5.

DS (and looking likely to be DD2 as well) both dry overnight from before 3.

steppemum · 04/07/2017 09:43

wrt drinks - there is some evidence that if your urine is stronger (fewer drinks) then it irritates the bladder more and therefore stimulate sit to wee, so the recommendation is no tto restrict drinks.

having said that, if mine drink literally at bedtime, or have bottle of water in bed, then they are much more likely to wet the bed, so we have no drinks for about 20-30 minutes before bedtime, and a last wee just before bed. (my youngest is 9 and this is still necessary)

Mari50 · 04/07/2017 09:46

As far as I know there's nothing you can do about night dryness, it's hormonally driven and until your child starts to secrete enough to reduce urine production through the night then they will continue to wet themselves. My DD was in p3 before she was completely dry.
I couldn't have cared less as there was nothing to be done about it apart from changing a lot of bedding.
She's totally dry now at 8.

Scottishchick39 · 04/07/2017 09:51

My DD stop wetting the bed just before starting secondary school so I really wouldn't worry about it. It was a long struggle and I'm so glad we're through it now.

Believeitornot · 04/07/2017 09:52

I lift my 5 year old - take her to the toilet when I go to bed at about10-11pm. TBH I'm not sure she needs it anymore as she does wake up on occasion before I lift her and hasn't had an accident for months.

We did the same with ds and he's dry now and has been since the age of 6.

Roomba · 04/07/2017 09:55

DS2 was out of nappies in the day well before reception (had only just turned 4 when he started). However he did still have accidents at night at least once or twice a week, so I kept him in pullups for bed.

He finally went a full week where he'd been dry in the morning at Christmas, so I stopped the pullups and he's been fine since - only wet the bed once and that was due to drinking about 3 pints of squash before bed at a party.

I never mentioned it to school. They didn't need to know, it's not as if he'd be on any overnight trip or anything, so I had no need to tell them. It's very common at this age anyway. I know at least one of his school friends is still in pullups at night as his mum mentioned it. They are all different and it' hormonally driven - DS1 was dry at night by 2, well before he was dry in the day!

Blobby10 · 04/07/2017 09:58

My daughter was 10 before she was dry at night - tried everything including hypnosis! Never had an issue at school tbh they just wanted her able to take herself to the toilet and sort herself out in the daytime.

Tillymintsmama · 04/07/2017 10:02

My daughter was definitely still in night time nappies when she started school. No worries at all. She stopped around the xmas time of her reception year x

Butterymuffin · 04/07/2017 10:04

It's not going to be an issue in reception. No need even to mention it.

Voiceforreason · 04/07/2017 10:04

School doesn't need to know and it will come with time.

Belindarocks · 04/07/2017 10:06

My son has only just become dry at 6. He got to the point where he refused to wesr the night pull ups, so we bought some of those bed mat things. He wet everynight for a week, then gradually had fewer wet nights. If you put the bedmat over the sheet it saves any washing.

superfluffyanimal · 04/07/2017 10:07

Unless its boarding school then I don't know what difference it makes?

We have talked to our DD about no pull ups, getting up for a wee etc and she is quite excited, however until I get consecutive dry pull ups I am not going to attempt dry nights. I believe that this is a hormonal thing and will kick in at some point.

starlight36 · 04/07/2017 10:09

My DD wasn't dry at night until halfway through year 1. It was never an issue at school - I didn't need to mention it.

noramum · 04/07/2017 10:22

If you are really worried look here: www.eric.org.uk/

It explains how to tackle bedwetting and why children are not ready at night when they are at day.

It is more common in boys than girls but please leave your child to develop in peace, there is absolutely no need to train her and methods like withholding liquid and lifting her actually make it worse not better.

DD was under medical observation for constipation and the paediatrican stressed the importance of liquid as she also had issues with being dry during the day.

DavetheCat2001 · 04/07/2017 10:24

My DS is 6.5 and coming to the end of yr 1 and still not dry at night. In fact he wets through his pull up regularly.

Took him to the Dr a couple of weeks ago and she said until they are 7, there is no further steps you can take aside from the usual common sense - not too many drinks before bed etc..

Wincher · 04/07/2017 10:27

They are all different - my nearly 7 year old DS (going into Year 3) is still in pull ups at night, whereas my 3 year old DS has been dry at night since he turned 3. It was quite a relief to me to realise it was nothing I had done wrong!

KeemaNaan · 04/07/2017 10:30

My DS wasn't dry through the night till he was 6 and my DD still has the odd accident now.

I'd let her drink normally - 4pm seems rather early to say no more drinks - use night time pants and wait till she's got the hang of it naturally.

Its not like you're sending her to school in nappies. Night time is a different thing completely.

BuntyCollocks · 04/07/2017 10:32

It's completely normal. I have a 4 year old DD who trained herself at night, with a very occasional accident, but she is/was easily distracted and thinks her bladder control in the day is better than it is, and has had accidents since being toilet trained (although now very rare, thankfully).

My 6 year old DS, however, never had one accident in the day since being toilet trained, but we sought help for night time as he showed no signs of going dry at all. We've been under the school nurses since January, tried the artificial hormone, and moved on to a buzzer. Even with the buzzer he's still not dry, we reliably get 14 or so dry nights, then a few accidents. It's pretty soul destroying for us all as he is desperate to be dry.

Don't stop her fluids that early. We were told no fluids an hour before bed, and no black currant based drinks as they're a diuretic. She's too little for you to be worrying about this in my opinion.

BuntyCollocks · 04/07/2017 10:34

And lots of drinks during the day - nurses said the bladder is like a balloon. It needs to be stretched to hold more liquid in order to make it through a night of urine production. You're doing more harm than good withholding drinks.

JennyOnAPlate · 04/07/2017 10:34

It's perfectly normal for a four year old not to be dry at night op...there will be plenty of other children in her class at school who aren't.

My own dc weren't out of night time pull ups until they were half way through reception.

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 04/07/2017 10:41

it's fine, and totally within the range of normal for the age group.

DC1's night nappies were absolutely sodden every single night during reception year. At the start of the summer holidays she had her first dry night nappy, and after a week was never wet again - not one single accident.

we did nothing different with our second child, who was dry at night at 2.5. It's just different biology.

I'm sure I read that although it's counter-intuitive it's better to encourage them to drink more rather then less, as this helps then empty their bladder more efficiently.

MammaTJ · 04/07/2017 10:44

DS is nearly 11 and is only just dry at night.

My DD is 22 and was not reliably dry until 10 years old.

DSis wet until she was 12.

There is a hereditary element to this hormone kicking in late.

I was very relaxed about it, knowing how much all the attempts to make my sister dry affected us all. She had a buzzer alarm, which woke us both, I declined to use one for my DS. It wasn't effective anyway for DSis!

All I did was make sure DS drank as much as possible during the day, hard as he is a reluctant drinker, then limited to sips of water after tea time. You must make sure she is drinking enough during the day, as concentrated urine is more likely to irritate the bladder and make her wet herself.

We were also told no 'red drinks, so no blackcurrant and no fizzy drinks, which he didn't have anyway.

We let DS continue to wear 'night pants', not nappies, nappies are for babies! He took it off in the morning, washed himself and put his night pant in the bin. All on his own, for his own self esteem.

He even went on school residential trips, where the teachers are well versed in dealing with this. He actually wet through his sleeping bag one night, but his room mates were oblivious and his sleeping bag was washed and returned to his bed discretely.

He has been to sleep overs at friends too. I just told the parent and he ensured DS was allowed privacy to deal with it and knew where to dispose of night pant.

It has never been an issue. DS has never been upset by it, because I chose not to get worked up about it.

Please relax over it, certainly now, but maybe seek advice/help from the school nurse when she turns 7, as that is the earliest age they will be concerned.

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