To be disgusted at Dove for their breastfeeding advert 'put them away!

[LadyTennantofTardis]

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/40478372

If we were all sitting around a table having a conversation I'd agree, but a lot of people just respond to the same post independently, and will naturally respond to something that bothers them, rather than just nod along while someone else makes the point.

that's why I said I think everybody should,

You can think what you like, but you speak for yourself when you say there should be a boycott.

Obviously, everyone speaks for themselves.

As an aside, I don't buy it anyway because it's rubbish and they test on animals.

Tequila, how is what troodie said a problem? She's just stating an opinion, and knows that's what it is.

'I think everyone should use less fossil fuel'
'I think everyone should eat less red meat'
'I think everyone should make an effort to buy local produce'

Are all comparable statements about improving the environment. Troodie can of course boycott Unilever, as can anyone else who feels the same. No one who doesn't agree would be forced to, and no one is expecting them to do anything they don't believe in.

Such lack of support to breastfeeding mums. I wont be buying Dove products. I will check what products are Unilever in my household to minimise purchases from this manufacturer

Hi sorry to resurrect, but I had a brief thought that this could possibly be in a way a bit of victim blaming?

I.e. Bf mums who get abuse when bf in public (put them away) made that choice, when xyz% don't choose to?

Brain tired but it was just a thought. I'm surprised that a friend can't see the issue. She doesn't have children though.

Did Dove ever apologise for this abomination of an advertising campaign?

Don't understand your point, Darjeeling. You mean a certain percentage of formula feeding women did not choose to formula feed??

I do believe that Dove meant to say whether you choose to bottle feed or breastfeed, we are here to support you, but what they actually said is whether you want to breastfeed in public or abuse those who breastfeed in public we are here to support you. The problem is, for many women whether they breast or bottle feed is not down to a simple preference. Often it`s a very complicated situation and a very emotional and difficult situation and Dove should understand that.

I don't think that Darjeeling is referring to formula feeding, only that framing the whole thing as a choice sets women who highlight abuse while bf in public to be told 'well you knew the risk of that when you made the choice'. Sort of if they had written 'x% of women never walk home alone at night, y% take the risk'.

Personally I don't like the idea that it's a choice to feed in public. I fed when I needed to feed, and not at my convenience. There was very little choice in the matter, and just a case of accepting that that's how breastfeeding works.

Shadow66: "I do believe that Dove meant to say whether you choose to bottle feed or breastfeed, we are here to support you, but what they actually said is whether you want to breastfeed in public or abuse those who breastfeed in public we are here to support you."

That's exactly right - summed up perfectly.

I suppose we've all said more or less everything there is to say about this, but the one thing I'd add is that we often see articles and posts from mothers who are formula-feeding about the relentless pressure there is to breastfeed, and how hard it is to be made to feel like a failure when you're a new parent. I completely sympathise with that - it's wrong to make women feel guilty in this way.

But we hear much less about the pressure on breastfeeding mothers, either not to breastfeed in public or not to breastfeed at all. I've seen posters on here saying their mother in law has accused them of being "selfish" for breastfeeding, or other family members being disgusted at breastfeeding taking place in front of them. So often breastfeeding mothers are derided for being "smug" or "lactation nazis" when often they are subject to the same pressures of being made to feel guilty or shameful just for feeding their baby.

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No, that women who have had abuse in public (I do know of women told to 'put them away' and that it was disgusting) are to blame for choosing to go out and bf in public.

This commercial brilliantly does what Dove were trying do to.

The whole (awful) campaign seems in line with the pervasive mood of 'everyone's opinion is equally valid' that there is at the moment. It's lowest common denominator advertising aimed at appealing to the 'your bubz, your rules' crowd. It really annoyed me.

I agree, Sandsnake. It's the "it's my opinion and stop shutting me down with your pc nonsense" crowd. Well, yes, you are indeed entitled to your opinion, just as others are free to argue against it and again just as others are free to take action against you if what you say tips over into hate speech.

Shadow66 agree with you also. "Hey, you know how sometimes you feel like harassing or discriminating against a breastfeeding woman? Well, that's cool because we're all different and we can get behind you on that."

I don't even like that one Shadow (though it is obviously much higher quality than the Dove one, and successful in what it's trying to do).

I hate the depictions of motherhood as 'tribal', it paints women as over invested in trivial details, and is nothing like my experience of most of the people I know. Obviously some people are highly opinionated, but most are just doing what works for them at that time, and aren't actually that interested in the ins and outs of other parents' lives.

There is SO much judgement though, especially on new mums. I did get comments from my baby group about not using cloth nappies. I tried but DS just soaked through every nappy I tried. I also had it implied that the reason my twins got sick so much was because they were mixed fed. SIL implied I was neglectful for doing BLW. So many weird comments. I'm not the sort of person who cares but it is really wearing. I think if you haven't had a lot of comments from people then you're really lucky. A lot of new parents are nervous and the comments and advice can be really upsetting for them. Whatever you do it seems like it's wrong in somebodys eyes.

I don't mean that everything is all just personal choice, and every choice is equally valid, I hasten to add. It's the way it's all painted as a consumer style choice of a philosophy that bothers me.

Oh you breastfeed, and use a sling? You must think that formula is poison, and buggies are neglect, and want to join a club for people who use a sling, and think wooden toys are morally superior to plastic, and cover your child's eyes when anyone is on the phone so they don't know screens exist...

I think it devalues things that are actually important, and means people genuinely cannot tell the difference between 'I didn't like the idea of reins for toddlers so don't use them' and 'I don't think women should breastfeed in public'.

X-post Shadow, you're right that there is a lot of criticism, I don't mean it doesn't go on.

A friend of mine got comments from her NCT group that every cold her son got was down to her not breastfeeding, which she had really tried with but stopped because she was struggling with PND and it was just too much.

I've had parents I've never met before annoyed that I've given my toddler those Organix crisps in the park because now their kid wants one and isn't allowed because they're a 'bad habit'. I've had countless strangers tell me the sunshade of the buggy should be down, or up, or why doesn't she have a hat on (because she's just taken it off for the twentieth time and bending down to pick it up with horrible morning sickness makes me want to throw up so it's easier to just walk in the shade, argh!)

I just don't think it's something to glorify and Dove are using it to justify what may be criminal behaviour (telling a breastfeeding woman she's making customers uncomfortable in a cafe for example). I'm sure a lot of the time it's due to a lack of confidence, in my own rather dogmatic SIL's case this is true.

Advertising often aims straight for the insecurities, and this is much more true of products aimed at women, and it stinks.

I get you now. Darjeeling :)