dd1 was taken to a cemetery by the school today, and saw a dead person

[Nightynight]

I probably wouldnt mind if it was one of my sons, but dd has recently been through a phase of being v scared of death/dead people. She was fairly upset.

why do the school think its ok to take the children out of the blue? I am pretty cross, but there is no point complaining, it is a bavarian school so the only answer they know is "we know best what is good for your child"

she'd, not he'd, sorry

Well, I mean, honestly, tsk!

the marigolds did it for me. up until then I was unsuyre

(I admit that I am now howling with laughter at the notion of Twiglett's Sooty and Sweep glove puppet show about death. But I do think it's a good idea. It's just that all that wriggling and the Marigolds have affected me)

I actuallthink that tiglwets idea of the glove is a good one. I meant the comment which followed

Twiglett's idea is a fab one, and it works even if you don't believe in the immortality of the soul (though, frankly, if you don't, surely your kids would be better off doing Ethics rather than Evangelische.... which would probably also have avoided the dead body scenario, but anyway...). What I told my dds when our dog died (and, yes, I know it's not a person, but the theory is the same) is that his body had died, but that his spirit would be with us through the memories which we had of him, and that he'd always be part of all of those of us who'd loved him, because he was part of our past and therefore part of who we still are now.... Dunno if that makes sense.

Twiglett's idea is a fab one, and it works even if you don't believe in the immortality of the soul (though, frankly, if you don't, surely your kids would be better off doing Ethics rather than Evangelische.... which would probably also have avoided the dead body scenario, but anyway...). What I told my dds when our dog died (and, yes, I know it's not a person, but the theory is the same) is that his body had died, but that his spirit would be with us through the memories which we had of him, and that he'd always be part of all of those of us who'd loved him, because he was part of our past and therefore part of who we still are now.... Dunno if that makes sense.

Whoops! Sorry for double-post. I meant to add that I'm sorry your dd got scared NN, and I really hope she's OK. However, if she is scared, it'd be an idea to put the washing up on one side for a minute and spend some time talking to her about it.

I like Twig's idea too.
in some ways I think the Bavarian way has its merits - death is part of life and all that.

I don't believe in spirits either - and when I was small, the idea of spirits coming out of dead bodies would have freaked me out more than the idea of a body simply being dead.

NN is your DD afraid of dying / you dying, do you think? Or is it actually about bodies?

psml at twiglett's glove idea.

Hilarious!!

NN fwiw, I mentioned this to dh (who's German) and he was horrified, a) because there was no warning to the parents of the trip and b) obviously because of the dead body. He's familiar with the "we know what's best for your children" attitude that prevails here and he thinks it sucks. Personally, I think if your dd has been traumatised by this, you should complain.

Arguably we are far too removed from death in the UK. It's just a cultural difference.

Oh NN, it gets worse and worse, doesn't it? I would not like dd to see a dead body without me having prepared her for it. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time here and I 100 % BELIEVE you and I'm with you 100 % on this. I would be very angry at the religion teacher and would send a letter of complaint, although as you know , probably nothing at all with come of it.

Chin up, hun it has to all get better at some time.

If a class of curious children and bored adults had traipsed past my daughter in her coffin, it would have broken my heart NN.

If my children were taken to a cemetary they would freak out at the moment.

How incredibly crass and insensitive - no matter how culturally correct.

I think you are right to be upset. I know I owould be.

And I think the jokes on this thread are shite.

NN (I owe you an email btw) - I'd have been mightily p*ssed off too. I would complain. Tbh it sounds unusual even for Germany...

harpsi, I see your point, but whether a school trip and a stranger's funeral is the right environment is at least a moot point, I think.

AFAIK Evangelisch is basically just the German word for Protestant. What we call evangelical is in German (I think) Evangelikal.

Xenia - some of us have no choice but to not be "too far removed from death". Just how close is correct?

don't see the problem tbh. shame your dd is freaked out by death, get some story book sor do the glove thing i'd say. otherwise this will keep being a problem any time someone dies. personally, i kissed my dead mother's body goodbye aged 9, did the same with several relatives over the years. it was grandad last year. no big deal.

No big deal, BizzyDint?

um no. but then i've never had an issue with dead bodies. i've seen a lot of them. it's a shame the op's dd has an issue with it, lots of kids do. but lots of kids are fascinated by death, love cutting bugs up and stuff. there are some good story books that deal with death. i would perhaps have an issue with a school trip arriving during a loved one's funeral. but then the op maybe doesn't know the full situation of what happened, i imagine she will speak to the school.

I am going to walk away from this thread. Bizzydint - you and I are poles apart.

Good Lord, I'm not surprised you are pissed off, I'd be furious, even taking into account the German 'we know best' attitude.

Are you going to say anything to the teachers? No idea how you can help dd, sorry. What on earth must the family have thought, with a school trip disturbing their funeral.

I've been to plenty of funerals, but never seen an open coffin, thank heavens. Would disturb me and I'm 38. Even worse with no warning.

I think it sounds awful. Very glad this wouldn't happen here. I am actually quite haunted by seeing my own dad's dead body after his car crash. It's worth talking to the head about this.

jesus that's extreme