Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask that you stop spreading your illness if you have 'just a cold'

146 replies

user1496484020 · 01/07/2017 20:30

48 hours ago dp arrived home full of snots. Didn't know how he got it.
36 hours later, having taken cold prevention nasal spray, it has gone straight to my lungs. I've taken my seretide as usual and Ventolin about 15 times and I am still coughing.
I'm only 5 months out of ICU with pneumonia and multiple organ failure (lungs included). I have asthma.

AIBU in asking you to use a fucking tissue if you sneeze and to stay the fuck at home if you're snotting everywhere? I do not fancy another two weeks on a god damned ventilator.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1496484020 · 01/07/2017 23:35

Ok, just to clarify a few things. I'm on a daily steroid inhaler.

Idiot came home snotting over me 2 days ago and I took Vicks First Defence. It seems it has bypassed my nose and gone straight to my lungs.

I've had an asthma review about 8 months ago.

He has been banished since before this thread.

During his time here he slept in a different room.

I am a screaming banshee regarding handwashing and I got locked out of my toilet polishing the handle of the door.

I think there are sniffles and there is streaming snots. It's the latter that the other fella had. He shouldn't be nowhere around people in that state. Had he told me BEFORE HE CAME HOME LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY, he'd have been told to fuck off and stay somewhere else. But he just landed here feeling sorry for himself.

Anyway, swearing? I swear a lot. Not sorry.

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldandback · 01/07/2017 23:38

I'm with you op. There's a difference between 'a sniffle' and a debilitating virus. And I get hayfever, feels nothing like the sniffles, clearly different. Hate when at Tescos the cashier's sneezing over my food. Yes I KNOW they may not want to take time off, but neither do I want me/my family in bed for the best part of a week (having to take time off!)

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 01/07/2017 23:40

Yes I KNOW they may not want to take time off,

It's more of a case that they'd like to take time off but their employer won't accept a cold as a reason to be off work.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:41

Lots of people are on steroid inhalers. DD is on the highest she can have for her age and the Montelukast medicine.

I also have steroid inhalers. I am also currently sat here with my snot streaming attractively too. I can't ring the school up and tell them the kids cant come in Monday because I cant be around people anymore than my ex can say 'hi boss I need a few days off to look after the kids for my ex wife - shes got a stinking cold'.

Both of us would get bollockings. Me possibly a fine.

I understand your anxiety, I really do, (in winter I move the fuck away from anyone with the slightest sniffles) but people cant have a day or three off for a cold.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:44

Well of course people would want to take time off when ill.

But you wouldn't last very long on some jobs with that ethos.

sallysparrow157 · 01/07/2017 23:46

If you're unwell you may well need steroid tablets on top of your normal steroid inhaler - I'd suggest you give out of hours a bell and ask for some if you're feeling really crap.

I look after kids rather than grown ups but, as managing ventilated asthmatics is very tricky, I am a huge advocate of early aggressive treatment of any exacerbation of wheeze - early steroids, lots of bronchodilators and early intravenous treatment if you're not getting better despite steroids and ventolin. If you've been on icu before you need asthma reviews more frequently than 8 months ago and you need a plan for when you're sick - if your gp surgery hasn't provided this already they need reminding just how poorly you were and how much you'd rather not be there again!

Rach5l · 01/07/2017 23:49

Ahh he sounds cute pixies Its so normal in Japan - society is very focused on consideration for others. Not sure itd take off here though Hmm

Original poster
user1496484020 · 01/07/2017 23:57

an asthma review reviews your asthma.

Asthma can leave you prone to other conditions, but other conditions are just that, other conditions.

My asthma treatment is fine.

Now feck off and snotter somewhere else and DO NOT PUT YOUR HAND ON THAT DOOR HANDLE.

Grand. Feel much better now.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1496484020 · 01/07/2017 23:59

I now have a craving for mint chocolate. I take that as a good sign.

OP posts:
HistoriaTrixie · 01/07/2017 23:59

OP, if your symptoms started 12 hours after your husband's return home you can un-banish him. The incubation period for the family of "common cold" viruses is 24-72 hours, so you'd do better to look at where you've been/who you've contacted in the past few days.

I hope you're feeling better soonest! I also have reduced lung function (due to scarring) and anything respiratory really knocks me for six so I know the feeling of wanting to avoid chest infections at all costs.

HistoriaTrixie · 02/07/2017 00:01

Oh shoot, OP, I misread, I'm sorry! I thought you'd started having symptoms 36 hours ago as opposed to 36 hours after his return! I'm really sorry. Blush Flowers

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 02/07/2017 00:01

Meh.

I've been unwell all of this week with hideous cold symptoms. No sick pay for me. Have to crack on.

Besides, there's no one to cover my shifts. My boss would tell me to go in.

ArchieStar · 02/07/2017 00:14

YABU to demand people stay home, especially as it was your DP that gave you this. At home.

YADNBU to worry about how it will affect you. ICU is a scary place and i had a breakdown my first chest infection after my ICU stay. It was so bloody scary I totally get where you're coming from.

WowThatsDifferent · 02/07/2017 00:24

Aren't most infectious illnesses the most catching before the symptoms appear. Stuff often gets passed around before the illness shows, unfortunately, or in the cery early stages when you just feel a bit off.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 02/07/2017 00:29

an asthma review reviews your asthma

Well yes, but it also reviews how well your lungs are doing, if you're suffering any other symptoms and reviewing your medication for your asthma.

If you've been in ICU you really should have an action plan. DD has one and I have one after being on HDU. I also have a pink card system where I can ring a dedicated number on the line and a specialist respiratory nurse does a home visit to check on me and if I need any abs or steroids etc. It's also helpful for the ambulance crews when my lungs are really kicking off- they know I need to see a consultant and they can take me straight to the resp ward bypassing A&E.

I've always been told by our gp surgery too that me and dd both have open appointments, and after an episode we have to be seen without 24/48hours.

Ironically I was actually told off for NOT going to the GP with my cold that landed me in resus. I got told I'm obviously a stubborn git strong to carry on but its their job to assess how poorly I am not me.

Ollivander84 · 02/07/2017 00:42

It's a vicious circle. People can't take the time off due to pay/rules so they go in. Then they infect other people who are left in the same situation. People say "well I can't take the time off because I'll get sacked" go in and give it to someone who's maybe already on a sickness management meeting and so it goes on
I empathise, I do. I'm neutropenic, not as a result of chemo but permanently so I'm wary who I'm around and avoid people that are obviously ill

scaryclown · 02/07/2017 05:34

If employers weren't such shits and if fewer people confused 'management', with 'being a prick' then more people would be sensible. With a job I hated, I stayed home at the first proper having a cold feeling and I was back to work in two days, then with another where there was no pay if you were ill, the whole place was sort of half staffed for nearly all of winter with easy to anger tired miserable staff. I think it's cheaper for employers to send people home on sick pay than have a whole store or office working at low capacity because managers feel more 'manageiral' *if they bully staff to attend ill.
My favourite was me calling in after going straight to bed after a shift with flu and 15 hours later having a boss call me up to try to get me to go downstairs and take paracetamol and come in. I didn't but did go back when I was still ill. I watched the rest of two departments go ill in order following my contact with them. It was good, in the sense that all the people who said I was skiving got it worse than me, but bad in the sense of 'why the hell does this stupidity continue?'

ittakes2 · 02/07/2017 07:35

www.vsl3.co.uk
Very strong friendly bacteria, helps boost immune system and also helps people with IBS.

Decaffstilltastesweird · 02/07/2017 07:49

Probably doesn't need to be said again, but if I phoned in sick for a cold in my last job they'd have sent me to HR for a talking to. If I did it repeatedly, they'd have disciplined and eventually fired me. It was an industry where you could work from home, but they didn't like us doing it unless there was a good reason. If anyone phoned in to say they were a little unwell but fine to work, so they were working from home, the manager always said no, either you're too sick to work so you take a sick day, or you're well enough to work, so get in to the office.

I hate people who aren't inconsiderate about their germs; chicken pox parties, going out and about shortly after a vomiting bug. But even I accept that colds are just everywhere and bound to happen. I appreciate you're in a different situation though, being so ill before.

Sorry to hear you've been unwell Flowers. Glad you're feeling a little better now and hope you get your mint chocolate!

Ktown · 02/07/2017 07:49

A cold can last 5-10 days
I survive with Lemsip - and I don't feel that bad
I don't take time off
Sorry - it isn't ideal for asthmatics I agree but I won't stay off work for a minor ailment

Frillyhorseyknickers · 02/07/2017 07:53

YABU. Biscuit

OhhBetty · 02/07/2017 08:03

I would love to be able to take time off when ill. The reality is I don't get sick pay and there is no one else to provide for ds and I. The gp tried to sign me off 4 times last year but I need every penny of my wages. I keep my germs to myself as much as possible and practice excellent hygiene.
In addition to this, if I rang in sick every time I was ill I would lose my job.

Iamastonished · 02/07/2017 08:07

I "get" where you are coming from. DD had a tracheostomy for 3 years when she was little and a cold would often land her in hospital. It used to give me the rage when parents used to take their clearly unwell children to toddler groups.

I think, though, that your husband is at fault here. He knows very well that colds are a problem for you, so he shouldn't have gone near you with a cold.

OH once had a really bad cold when DD was little. He slept in the spare bedroom, didn't go near DD and observed rigorous hand washing hygiene, and DD never caught that cold.

Sadly, as everyone else has pointed out, employers take a dim view of their employees taking time off sick with "just a cold".

gettingbacktoresearch · 02/07/2017 08:07

I think you should ask to be referred to a respiratory consultant for a full review... I started with mine again last Sept (been asthmatic since 18 following bronchitis/pneumonia and have been on flixotide250, serevent and prednisone for ages)...

The consultant was great, full bloods, chest x-ray, sputum analysis, lung function tests (not just peak flow but the full range of machines) and head and sinus CT.... then a month of antibiotics (last year I had 5 courses for chest infections) following those I am now on symbicort and montelukast plus nasal sprays and I feel much better. I am also seeing an ENT consultant too for cysts on my vocal cords but they also help with post nasal drip which can affect your lungs.

A GP/nurse asthma review is okay but if you are at risk of a coma after a cold you really should be under a consultant.

Other than that I work from home when there are lots of ill people at work, and we all use hand washing and hand gel at home but don't go overboard. My husband works in a hospice so knows about infection control and if he has a bad cold etc he'll sleep downstairs and use separate mugs, towels etc

It's crap having a disease that can stop you breathing but there is more you can do, get a referral!

BrexitSucks · 02/07/2017 08:19

I'm sorry to read your asthma is so dangerous for you, OP.

We had an email go around at work about having a "Return to Work" interview with line manager each and every time we have a day off work (on the day we return to work). This is news to me maybe b/c I managed to skip induction when I started 4 yrs ago There is paperwork to fill out as a guideline during that interview (luckily optional).

I don't know who my line manager is. It might be the guy who is only in office 1 week a month.