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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask that you stop spreading your illness if you have 'just a cold'

146 replies

user1496484020 · 01/07/2017 20:30

48 hours ago dp arrived home full of snots. Didn't know how he got it.
36 hours later, having taken cold prevention nasal spray, it has gone straight to my lungs. I've taken my seretide as usual and Ventolin about 15 times and I am still coughing.
I'm only 5 months out of ICU with pneumonia and multiple organ failure (lungs included). I have asthma.

AIBU in asking you to use a fucking tissue if you sneeze and to stay the fuck at home if you're snotting everywhere? I do not fancy another two weeks on a god damned ventilator.

OP posts:
Judydreamsofhorses · 01/07/2017 22:06

I feel for you OP. I came down with the absolute worst cold, out of the blue, immediately we came back from voting last month - initially I thought it was flu because it was so sudden. I actually did stay off work on the Friday because I felt so unwell, went back on the Monday barely able to speak. Still coughing now because I went back when I was still really poorly, but taking more time off sick would have negatively impacted on my colleagues and my students.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 01/07/2017 22:10

Your anger here is from fear, which is understandable.

But you must understand that the rest of the world can't take sick days for a cold. Managers would laugh you out a job for even trying that shit and rightly so.

Boulshired · 01/07/2017 22:12

I have no way of telling if I have a cold coming or its my dust allergies or hay fever. I could spend half the year self quarantined.

Summerswallow · 01/07/2017 22:12

I think your reaction is borne of panic, which is entirely understandable what you have gone through.

I also think there's things you can do in your own environment to keep the bugs down. When one of mine (rarely) gets a sickness bug, I suggest they spend their time in their bedroom (like all the time!), make it really nice in there like a den, designate a loo for them to be used only by them, wipe down all handles with anti-bac. The last sickness bug one of my children got no-one else got (noro, confirmed at school) in our house. If they have a cold, obviously they can't be confined to a room (more's the pity), but I give them their own tissues, their own mug, don't have them do unpacking the dishwasher or any food prep, anti-bac the handles and generally try to contain the germs. I also wash my hands every time I use the loo (not more, I'm not that fanatical but lots of people admit they don't!) and before eating, them the same. Of course, there are times that doesn't contain it, and when the children are little there's almost nothing you can do as they trail round snot-nosed, but in general, I've found upping the ante when people are ill and general handwashing and them getting older has meant we seem to have far fewer bugs than some other families and far less than when I wasn't into handwashing!

I honestly have cut down the amount of colds I get to about 2 a year through increased handwashing and taking echinacea at the first sign of trouble. I don't have a compromised immune system though, it must be very very stressful to be in your situation.

www.cdc.gov/handwashing/why-handwashing.html

I also try not to touch surfaces like the door handles in the work loos after I've washed my hands, I put my hand up my jumper and use it covered! I know other people don't wash their hands enough from reading MN threads!

allowlsthinkalot · 01/07/2017 22:21

I used to work on a children's cancer ward where all the children were immunocompromised and very poorly. Any contagious illness, sickness bugs and the like, were barrier nursed in isolation if inpatient or given a separate waiting area if outpatient.

Even then they didn't isolate colds. It's impossible to avoid them, they are everywhere. So YABU but understandably so.

GrandDesespoir · 01/07/2017 22:38

What preventative steps did you take at home to try to avoid catching your DH's cold? Did you sleep in separate rooms, for example?

JaceLancs · 01/07/2017 22:39

Whilst I sympathise with OP as have my own immunity issues I can't take time off work for minor illnesses - I would not get paid and would be on 'a warning' fairly quickly

BewtySkoolDropowt · 01/07/2017 22:44

Sounds like a horrible place to be, op.

I too am asthmatic, but thankfully I haven't had anything like the experience you have had.

What I swear by is Vick's first defence. It's a nasal spray that stops the cold from spreading. Since I started using it, I have not had a cold go to my chest, and they are over in a few days. Before that I would be coughing for weeks and weeks. You have to take it very soon after first symptoms, so maybe too late this time, but worth trying!

KoolKoala07 · 01/07/2017 22:45

I'm self employed on a one to one client basis. If I was off ill for a cold everytime, paying my mortgage would become difficult and I'd have tons of clients to fit into an already very busy schedule nor can I continually mess them around because they'd become pissed off and I'd have no work.

Coldilox · 01/07/2017 22:50

I get full pay if off sick, but wouldn't stay off for a cold. If I'm able to work, I go in.

Agree re the hygiene though.

YellowLawn · 01/07/2017 22:54

yabu
why did your husband not quarantine himself so that he doesn't dpread disease to you?

YellowLawn · 01/07/2017 22:54

I hope you feel better soon Flowers

Whisky2014 · 01/07/2017 22:57

It does piss me off when people come to work with the cold. They sneeze everywhere, don't go wash their hands etc etc spreading it about. I detail wipe all door handles and switches etc if I feel I'm at risk of catching something. Not had a cold in over a year. If I do I usually take 1 to 2 days off work and sleep as much as possible to get over it quickly.
Employers pay sick pay, use it.

Whisky2014 · 01/07/2017 22:58

Ps. I'm very much involved in the manufacture of ventolin. It's fucking difficult to make!

snapple21 · 01/07/2017 23:10

If I was off for having a cold I'd be sacked. In the NHS trust I work for if you are off 3 times in a twelve month period you are placed on 'first stage' for sickness. It's so hard.

QuestionableMouse · 01/07/2017 23:12

Sorry you're poorly but if I can't afford to take time off work. I don't get sick pay for the first three days and even after then I only get £60 a week. That won't cover my bills.

Rach5l · 01/07/2017 23:14

Why Can't we all wear face masks out of courtesy when we're I'll like they do in Japan?

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:16

AIBU in asking you to use a fucking tissue if you sneeze and to stay the fuck at home if you're snotting everywhere? I do not fancy another two weeks on a god damned ventilator.

As a fellow asthmatic who has landed herself in a very scary Resus situation with 'Just a cold' (again it had gone to my chest very quickly). Even I think YABU.

I currently have a stinking cold and I'm hoping my lungs hold up as I'm a single parent, my ex works stupidly early hospital shifts and my mum is recovering from major knee surgery. Ive rested all weekend but come Monday I've still got to take the DCs to school.

Your DH could have caught the cold from anywhere.

tiggytape · 01/07/2017 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AddictedToDrPepper · 01/07/2017 23:19

I feel for you, however I'd get sacked if I took a day or two off every time I got the cold. I wasn't even able to take a day off with a chest infection so YABCompletelyU.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:20

Rach5l I actually had one of my hospital consultants do this. Bless him he had the horrible chesty virus going around at Christmas time and he didn't want to cancel his clinic. So he wore a facemask and told us why. I wanted to put him in my pocket!

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:21

Ps. I'm very much involved in the manufacture of ventolin. It's fucking difficult to make!

Still the best thing ever! Grin

implantsandaDyson · 01/07/2017 23:22

"Employers pay sick pay, use it" two employers I've worked for didn't pay sick pay for the first three days.

34AQuid · 01/07/2017 23:23

Really feel for you, OP, and can imagine you are feeling pretty shit at the moment. Get well soon Flowers.

Unfortunately, as others have said, it just isn't realistic for the vast majority of people to take time off work or avoid contact with the public because of a cold. I for one would be sacked if I started doing this.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 01/07/2017 23:27

Employers pay sick pay, use it

No not don't Hmm

Ex works for a private contractor supplying to a hospital (wont say more as outing). He gets one day sick pay. That's it.

Also. What about everyone that is self employed and does Freelance work? My Dad was hospitalised with pneumonia and sepsis earlier this year. He was back at work the next week as he's self employed and still has bills and rent to pay!