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Original poster

New recruit physically shakes in my presence

100 replies

user1498221998 · 01/07/2017 12:06

I think the new recruit in our office thinks I have an unquenchable sexual desire for him. Whenever he sees me he runs away. When I try to talk to him he visibly shakes in my presence. I asked him yesterday if he wanted a biscuit from the biscuit tin and he immediately informed me he was in the early stages of seeing someone. It was only a jammy dodger!!

I think I must give off a Mrs Robinson vibe. On a serious note would I be unreasonable to do something about this? Or am I doomed to years of him running away from me in fear of his life.

Help! Grin

OP posts:
Cocklodger · 01/07/2017 12:07

"Are you ok, colleague name?"
Would be my response every time.
While putting the feelers out to try to figure out why he's so terrified.
Grin

NancyDonahue · 01/07/2017 12:08

How do you know it's sexual? He might just be new and nervous! I tend to rabbit on about irrelevant stuff when I'm nervous.

Original poster
user1498221998 · 01/07/2017 12:10

He must think I fancy him. There's no other explanation. He is not shy, he's fine with everyone else. His conversations revolve around him informing me he's in a relationship and commenting on who he has a crush on. All classic comments which are designed to let someone know you're not interested.

I've worked in this role for years and I've never had this before.

It's rather amusing though. He is actually scared of me. You can see the fear, he physically shakes!

OP posts:
chickensaresafehere · 01/07/2017 12:15

If you look like Joan Holloway from Mad Men,it's perfectly understandable!!!
Do you?

Alicia555 · 01/07/2017 12:21

Wtf? He must have a really high opinion of himself, bring him down peg or two! Next time he gets jittery and starts banging on about who he fancies tell him to stop flattering himself and that your not interested!

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 01/07/2017 12:22

Someone's probably told him you're after him.

ilovesooty · 01/07/2017 12:24

I don't see how he has a high opinion of himself. That could also be inferred on the OP's part by her interpretation.

Rach5l · 01/07/2017 12:26

Ha! Well you could just let him keep believing it & have some fun with it Winkor you could just put him straight & out of his misery..

MrBobDobalina · 01/07/2017 12:27

I asked him yesterday if he wanted a biscuit from the biscuit tin and he immediately informed me he was in the early stages of seeing someone. It was only a jammy dodger!!

You're showing your age OP. Offering someone a jammy dodger is the new 'Netflix & chill'.

ChickaaaaannDipppaaaaassss · 01/07/2017 12:29

If he's shaking as much as you say he might have essential tremor.
I have it and it's a pain in the arse.
Doesn't explain the biscuit comment, but maybe someone has said you like him which has set the nerves and shakes off.

Sugarcoma · 01/07/2017 12:32

Cocklodger The OP putting her feelers out may exacerbate the situation!

happypoobum · 01/07/2017 12:33

I reckon someone has told him you are a cougar and have the hots for him................does anyone spring to mind with that sort of "sense of humour?"

Original poster
user1498221998 · 01/07/2017 12:38

I can't imagine anyone has told him I fancy him.

I'm only 28 btw. Not much older than him.

OP posts:
happypoobum · 01/07/2017 12:40

Sorry - it was the Mrs Robinson comment that made me think you were older like me

I can't see any other reason for his behaviour than him believing you are a sexual predator who has him in your sights, sorry.....Grin

PoorYorick · 01/07/2017 12:41

Tell him, "I'm not trying to seduce you."

ThatsNotMyMarmot · 01/07/2017 12:42

You sound like you have ten bob each way on yourself OP.

DistanceCall · 01/07/2017 12:43

Tell him that you've noticed that he's uncomfortable in your presence and ask him whether there is any problem. This is ridiculous.

MusicForTheJiltedGeneration · 01/07/2017 12:45

Do you behave like one of Harry Enfield's Randy Wobbly Old Ladies? OOOOOOH young maaaaan

IloveBanff · 01/07/2017 12:46

ilovesooty "I don't see how he has a high opinion of himself. That could also be inferred on the OP's part by her interpretation."

How do you work that out? The OP hasn't said that she thinks he fancies her, but that he thinks she fancies him and he wants to make it clear that he's not interested. How could anyone infer that she has a high opinion of herself from that? Confused

muckypup73 · 01/07/2017 12:47

Do you think perhaps one of you workmates have wound him up when he first started perhaps telling him you fancy him for a joke? or something like watch her shes the office man eater?

lidoshuffle · 01/07/2017 12:47

It's so weird when a bloke keeps mentioning a partner apropos to nothing; "It looks like rain, I need an umbrella." "My wife's just bought a new umbrella."

IloveBanff · 01/07/2017 12:48

Sugarcoma Cocklodger The OP putting her feelers out may exacerbate the situation!

I thought that too! Grin

CaptainMarvelDanvers · 01/07/2017 12:51

I was scared of my former boss, nothing sexual - the person just had an certain manner about them that mad nervous and every time I opened my mouth to say something, the words would come out in the wrong order.

IloveBanff · 01/07/2017 12:51

Do you behave like one of Harry Enfield's Randy Wobbly Old Ladies? OOOOOOH young maaaaan

Yes, she sat on his lap and said "Do you fancy a nibble, young maaaan?" and then produced the biscuit tin. It's obvious now. Wink

Witchend · 01/07/2017 12:52

It seems a strange assumption that he's nervous of you therefore h must think you fancy him.
Much more likely he's seen/heard that you can be a bit hard in the workplace and he's scared of upsetting you. Which could be someone teasing him, or it could be genuine.
My df never understood why his nickname at work was Deadly. He'd tell you he was a pussy cat. He was wrong.