Rent

[Sewell61]

Ms has a full time well paid job, Is 300.00 month to much rent? He's threatened to move out. He currently pays 200. But it's not enough to cover everything. I'm disabled & unable to work.
My daughter pays hers no problem. I feel terrible even asking for rent.

@AndTakeYourHorseWithYou in all fairness neither do you. A lot is unsaid by OP.

Neither of us do. But only one of is assuming things: you.

@AndTakeYourHorseWithYou - from experience. Growing up I didn't know a single disabled person with a child where the child didn't do some form of invisible caring. (Was part of a local support group and met hundreds of kids). I think board should include the cost of caring responsibilities to some extent.

That is YOUR experience. Don't speak for the OP. You don't know they have ANY caring responsibilites at all.

Honestly if that is your background you should know better than to be so rude.

Groupie, you are likely right re the caring aspect.

Child carers should never happen but sadly they do. It can take away a childhood and cause a lot of issues in adulthood.

It is very likely that both adult children help the OP if she is too disabled to do any form of work.

Ms does none of my care, he won't even walk the dog
Md or my friends help out when needed.
I'm wishing I hadn't posted now....
Its upsetting enough to ask for rent, but why should hb help when I've got two non dependent adults living here....I could move into a one bedroom place & get more help.

I live in a cheap area but £300 seems a lot to me. You could share a house with a friend and that would cover all the rent and bills where I live. I don't know what the answer is OP.

If you are claiming income related ESA then you would also get the severe disability premium added on if you lived alone nd no-one claims carers allowance for you.

There your go Groupie et al, would you like to apologise to the OP for your assumptions?

OP, for no fault of your own you are not able to do what most parents would want to do which is to provide a home for your young adult kids for as long as they need it, while they spend their earnings on travelling etc, move out, move back, etc etc. Level with them both. While you live together in your current home, they need to share the costs and pay for their food etc. When they move out you will downsize because you will have to, but once you do that they won't be able to come back. So the 3 of you need a plan.

My nan used to ask for a % of the wages, she had 4 kids in different kinds of jobs but it seems sensible to me.

He won't get anything for £300pm including bills. I live in a crappy backtoback house in a terrible area (Up north so a lot cheaper than say, London) and that's more than £300 with every bill on top...

you are not able to do what most parents would want to do which is to provide a home for your young adult kids for as long as they need it

Excuse me? Most parents want to provide a free home and lifestyle for their adult children for as long as they want? Jog on they do.

P.s I used to give my mother 75% of my wages when I needed to and £400 pm when I was ESA and had £0 for myself. You pay what you have to to keep things running.

Your children shouldn't be paying for you, only what it cost you extra. Rent and ct is £600, so £200 each. Does 1/3 of all the other bills and food come to £100?

@AndTakeYourHorseWithYou- Did you even read the reply? Her daughter helps out along with her friends.

Her SON though, who is the topic of the post and THE PERSON you were commenting on, DOES NOT. You made big assumptions that he did.
For fucks sake, keep up. You were wrong.

Does 1/3 of all the other bills and food come to £100?

You're not going to get food, utilities and tax for less than 300 a month for 3 adults, are you? Of course it costs that, and more.

No i wasn't. And stop swearing. We're in a forum of adults here

I can swear if I fucking like, but thank's for the fucking advice.

We are adults, so you should own being wrong, like a grown up. You made offensive assumptions, and were wrong.

groupie her daughter and her friends helping does not make up for the son being lazy or buy him subsidised lodgings. His lack of effort makes him no more than a lodger in terms of his contribution to the household.

...to add to my post

I am not disabled and expect my dd to do chores. That's what makes the difference between a lodger on more rent and a family member.

I am laughing out loud at these people saying it's too much.

My parents rules were 20% of ALL earnings were to be paid the day after pay day. This was applied to all the children. It had a cap of 200£ to start which was increased to 250£ over the years.

The rule was applied to anyone staying long term too (longer than a weekend) so if my partner was staying in my room he had to pay 20% of his earnings in that time.

A general rule like this keeps it simple and fair.

I suffered no finical damage because of this, in fact it taught me the value of money and prepared me for having my own bills etc.

I paid this from my first job over the age of 16 (ie paper rounds etc didn't count when under that age) until I moved out in my twenties. I'm happy to say I moved out with a true expectation of what my money would get me, and have never struggled with budgeting/bills etc. I truly believe this is because I was taught how to manage my money expectations.

I have friends who paid no "digs" (rent) and had a horrific reality check when they moved out. Many misjudged their budget and had to move home/run up debts etc.

In terms of OP relying on this money... So she should, she is heating the place, paying electricity, TV, rent/mortgage etc which will all be used by her son.

When you become a adult you should be expected to contribute a fair and equal share. If not... Go stand on your own two feet.

He is an adult and working. It is only fair he contributes towards the household. £300 seems very fair, he is an adult and should pay his way and do his fair of the chores as well. Basically £900 in total should pay rent bills and food for 3 adults.

I pay my mum £50/week, which pays for rent, utilities and cheap food. If I want to cook myself a nice dinner I'm responsible for buying it myself. I also replace the food i use with the exception of stuff like bread and milk because that's considered communal, and I don't use much, although I will pick some up for the house whilst I'm shopping for myself every now and then. It seems to even out.

Effectively I'm spending ~£210/month for rent and bills. If your son is getting rent bills and food for £300, that's probably equivalent and he's getting a very good deal. Private rent alone starts at £500/month. He won't get it cheaper unless he's just renting a bedroom and will thus feel miserable, and will have to pay bills on top.

I say well done to him if he can manage to find somewhere for less than £300pm that covers the cost of Rent, utilities, internet, council tax and food...