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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that thousands of people loving charlie and bradley is some what false.

999 replies

Lonelymummyof1 · 01/07/2017 07:29

I know exactly what It is like to have a poorly child same as hundreds more parents in the uk.
Set aside my belief that I believe that bradley has very little dignity and both him and charlie are now used as some weird sort of click bait.

The supporters I do not understand it ?

We love you, we are heart broken and we will miss you.

Now I get empathy but this is not empathy this is media posts just gone crazy to write the most heart breaking post they can.
I wish neither of these children would have to lose their life and can undetstand the parents pain just like the rest of the terminally ill children in this country.

You can feel sad that these things happen but this just seems weird and could not imagine allowing a nation of people watching my child pass away.

I mean how many of them 2 years from now will wake up on the morning of their anniversary and automatically remember them ?

OP posts:
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HipsterHunter · 05/07/2017 14:41

If people weren't in general, fucking stupid and violent cretins when they get riled up in group - then there wouldn't ever have been (for example) lynchings in America of black people.

I've had to unfriend 2 people on FB for posting shit about this.

Maudlinmaud · 05/07/2017 14:44

And the daily mail using that photograph with that caption is no accident. That's been carefully chosen. I'm sure they captured many shots of the parents looking bereft but used this one instead. The media are turning, this is all going to go very very badly. Those parents will end up with no public support at the most crucial time. It's not right.

mydogisthebest · 05/07/2017 14:46

I agree Maudlinmaud. I feel awful saying it but my sympathy for the parents is lessening.

chupsmelad · 05/07/2017 14:46

"Donald trump needs to physically walk into that hospital and take charlie out onto his private plane, with everything he needs and get him the help the family desperately want him to have. Whilst giving GOSH the finger on the way out."

Deep sigh.

reallyanotherone · 05/07/2017 14:46

Sarah's kids are all in care.

I wonder why she hasn't thought to go against the court and "just take them", or ask trump to make them us citizens, or TM to yunno, just overrule the court's decision, right or wrong, because parents have the ultimate power when it comes to their kids.

Someone in the Us group has posted a meme saying children are the "property" of their parents...

DorotheaBeale · 05/07/2017 14:47

maybe George clooney will help?

They might have a point if they suggested asking Amal Clooney, as she is a human rights lawyer. And could possibly explain the legal issues in words of one syllable.

Boris, as I recall, renounced his own American citizenship, which he had solely because his parents happened to be in the US when he was born.

It is sad that Charlie's parents don't seem to have anyone - their own parents, their legal team, a priest or minister if they have a religious faith - anyone at all - advising and supporting them.

chupsmelad · 05/07/2017 14:49

Those parents will end up with no public support at the most crucial time. It's not right.

I agree, but there's one thing I'm like a broken record on: I really can't judge the parents. I just can't. We're all different and we all make different decisions. To see the emotion on his father's face in that first photo of the three of them (when he is holding Charlie) and to look at everything those parents have had to go through since then. It's tragic, and much as I would like to be angry at them I really can't find it in me. They're just people trying to do their best.

Alfieisnoisy · 05/07/2017 14:49

My sympathy for the parents will never lessen, this must be a hellish situation to be in. Maybe if I was in their shoes I would be doing exactly the same things. However this child could be suffering...we don't know as we are not responsible for this care and don't have access to the results of tests doctors do.
I actually think the doctors and nurses have likely had threats to their lives. Many will need ongoing support to deal with the fallout of this and some highly qualified staff might simply walk away. They are not paid anywhere what enough to deal with the fallout of this.
People need now to wind their necks in and let the hospital staff make the decisions they need to in the best interests of this baby.

reallyanotherone · 05/07/2017 14:50

Dorothea- i suspect they have had advice and counselling, but have chosen to ignore it in favour of their own beliefs.

Nicknacky · 05/07/2017 14:55

There is someone on that fb saying that Charlie's mum told him she loved him and the poster clearly heard him repeat it back to her. FFS!

Nicknacky · 05/07/2017 14:56

Oops tell a lie, I'm as stupid as them. She is comparing Charlie to that kid who was brain damaged. My outrage stopped me reading properly,

LogicalPsycho · 05/07/2017 15:03

And the daily mail using that photograph with that caption is no accident. That's been carefully chosen. I'm sure they captured many shots of the parents looking bereft but used this one instead

Charlie's parents sadly opened the door for the media using photographs of them, when they started posting photographs of their family themselves.
If they hadn't, everyone would be up in arms about the gross invasion of privacy at this time.

The photo released today of Connie and Chris at his bedside, you can't even see Charlie, it has made his parents the focus of it, and they clearly look distraught.
But they are both in the picture, meaning someone else took the photo, and obviously with their awareness of it being taken.

It gives me an uncomfortable feeling to know that they've arranged a photo to be taken of themselves staring heartbroken at their Son, and then released it to the world.

As if the baying mob that is Charlie's Army need further encouragement.

AIBU to think that thousands of people loving charlie and bradley is some what false.
DorotheaBeale · 05/07/2017 15:09

Dorothea- i suspect they have had advice and counselling, but have chosen to ignore it in favour of their own beliefs.

As well as Charlie, I'm now thinking of what the long term impact is going to be on his parents. If they're rejecting all advice, as they seem to be, will anyone be able to help them through the grieving process and with rebuilding their lives, when this has ended, as it inevitably will? Or will they remain stuck in the denial and anger phase?

GinSoakedTwitchyPony · 05/07/2017 15:09

Very disturbing that the person who posted that 'if they murder him they should be murdered' finishes her post with the words 'make the world a nice loving place'. Confused

Puzzledandpissedoff · 05/07/2017 15:09

I would imagine the hospital has a duty of care to Charlie and allowing discharge would go against that

You could very well be right - I was just thinking aloud and wondering whether anyone knew the actual legal position on this

I'm not really interested in the stupidity on Facebook, Twatter, etc, since none of it changes the (multiple) courts' decisions that continued support isn't in Charlie's interests. What's worrying me now is that, unless Charlie slips away on his own, somebody is going to have to say, in effect, "today is unfortunately the day"

And I'm not sure how little Charlie's mum and dad will react to that, now that "a bit more time to say goodbye" has turned into this utter farce

FlyingElbows · 05/07/2017 15:20

It's odd but the thing that strikes me most about that photo is that he's got sunglasses on his head. It's like some sort of weird "Hello" style parallel universe photo.

nina2b · 05/07/2017 15:23

The sunglasses on the head...

speechless

QuackPorridgeBacon · 05/07/2017 15:26

I'm sorry but I've lost sympathy for the parents. It's gone.

The photos they have set up are in extremely bad taste and are doing nothing but feeling the "army" that doesn't give a single shit about Charlie. They have found an agenda and are sticking to it until the next one comes along.

I don't like to use this word but, the "army" are all a bunch of cunts and dumb fuckers who clearly aren't smart enough to butter a slice of bread.

I'm getting so angry that I'm feeling sorry for any kids that anyone who thinks the way they do has. They must be living an awful life, and god forbid anything happens to those children, I seriously wonder if the parents would refuse care if GOSH were the only one to provide it.

Original poster
Lonelymummyof1 · 05/07/2017 15:28

I am probably going to sound a bit of dick but hey would not be the first time.
The photo is staged.
I spent along time in icu with daughter.
That is not a natutal pose / position at all in that circumstance.

OP posts:
Oogle · 05/07/2017 15:31

It does look like he's been outside enjoying a bit of sun and been told "oi, Chris, get in here quick, we need a photo taken for the papers"

I'm sure that's not the case at all but it just doesn't look 'right' if that makes sense?!

puzzled I'm with you. I can't imagine what is going to happen when someone has to say that they have to turn off his life support.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 05/07/2017 15:34

I'd love to post a "real" family picture with a sick child. Although that would totally put me. I done have many but the ones I do are with us holing our daughter so probably not the same. Then again maybe some people do just look good in that situation and I'm lashing out due to anger in the wrong places.

I did know one woman once who always looked perfect while her son was very possibly dying (car accident) suspected brain damage didn't wake. We were gone before they knew anything but I heard that he passed away. She always looked great but also quite unphased? Her ex (the boys dad) always looked rough, slept on a chair was always there unless he went for a smoke, wore the same clothes for days. You could see them arguing and I won't lie, I thought to myself how are you sat around joking or curled up on a chair in the waiting room constantly on your phone when you are still very much in the 'don't know anything' stage.

Don't get me wrong, even when our daughter was going through hell we (me and her dad) managed to laugh or enjoy a show etc but that was at least two months after and we had another kid so wanted to protect her from what was going on. The woman I mention was acting like this after a day..

LogicalPsycho · 05/07/2017 15:34

Quack I feel the same.

That photo is staged at least to some degree, in that someone else had to take it. That isn't a spontaneous snapshot caught unexpectedly- how many were taken before this one was released?
Charlie isn't even the focus anymore. His face is turned away, and all focus is on his parents. It's quite an appropriate representation of this entire case really. Poor, poor Charlie.

DorotheaBeale · 05/07/2017 15:35

I was just thinking aloud and wondering whether anyone knew the actual legal position on this

Boris says legal reasons prevent Charlie being transferred. Report here:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-40503842

TheWeeWitch · 05/07/2017 15:45

I suspect that they have some kind of PR person - professional/trained or otherwise - giving them terrible advice.

AprilLudgateDwyer · 05/07/2017 15:46

@QuackPorridgeBacon

Re the lady you mentioned with the son who'd been in the accident acting unphased... that's very much how I deal with a situation. People have called me cold and un feeling but it's just my way of processing stuff.