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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Leaving DD sleeping in pram in garden.

113 replies

Lozzy5790 · 30/06/2017 16:31

I live in terraced flats. Since DD (8 mos) was tiny, if she fell asleep in her pram I would just leave her at the bottom of the steps asleep (obviously as long as it wasn't raining). At first I would sit outside with her but over time I've started using the time to do a spot of housework. I only ever do housework in the hall or the kitchen so I can always see her. Where I leave her is one floor down from where I am but she's in eye sight the whole time and in a back garden - you can't see her from the street. I could probably get to her faster when she wakes up than someone in a bigger two story house could get to their baby.

Some new people have moved in to a flat a few gardens down, so from their door they can see our garden, and today I was hoovering the hallway and saw the man walk into our garden. Obviously I went out straight away and he said to me "I'm glad you're here this time- my wife and I don't like you leaving her out there unattended for hours at a time! Anything could happen to her or someone could take her. When you left her out on Monday my wife had to sit at the window all day to make sure she was ok. Please don't do it anymore."

To be clear I'm not leaving her out there for hours - I'm letting her finish her nap in her pram in the garden in my full view. As soon as she wakes up in right there for her. The only people who should be in our garden are us and the people who live in the flat next door (which is no one at the moment).

I'm not BU here am I? Happy to be told I'm being neglectful if I am but I don't see the point in waking her up when she's happy?

Also, if IANBU what should I say to the guy next time (if there is one?) This time I just kind of looked at him and said that I'm right here and she's fine.

OP posts:
lovemycatsanddog · 30/06/2017 17:50

Once upon a time i used to leave my babies out in their pram for some fresh air, even when it was the middle of winter, well wrapped up, and a hot water bottle under the covers ,hood up, but i dont think i would do it these days,too many weirdos about, but i dont think the op should be slated for it,if she could see the baby from where she was, but i would put a lock on the gate, but i can see where the neighbours might be worried,its how things are these days, no one feels as safe as they used to, but shouldnt have been in her garden

BewareOfDragons · 30/06/2017 17:50

filming her for obscene purposes??? Are you for real, Portishead?

Get a grip.

NicolasFlamel · 30/06/2017 17:53

The hysteria on this thread 😄
OP I would just make sure the garden is secure. The fact the neighbour got in means it needs checking. You have to do your own risk assessments and decide what you're comfortable with.

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 17:54

It doesn't really matter what people used to do in the olden days. Again, you could leave your door unlocked. Nowadays, the current police advice is to net leave your car keys downstairs, even with the door locked.
You could write a book with horrendous advice from the past, and even valid ones no longer work nowadays because things change.

Leaving a baby alone outside is too risky!

ImperialBlether · 30/06/2017 18:00

On some occasions mums would walk out to find decomposing bodies

For god's sake, don't talk such rubbish!

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 18:01

Coddiwomple I think it does depend a lot upon where you live. OP clearly knows how safe her area is. I left my children in the garden and would still do the same with my grandchildren, when they arrive. Everyone here is fine with that.

Anyway, shouldn't you be getting some of your own well-advised fresh air?

kali110 · 30/06/2017 18:07

Portishead200 get lost Hmm

Babywearinggeek · 30/06/2017 18:08

I used to leave my DS outside to finish naps but would nip inside and make a cup of tea (in hearing distance with the door open) and then go back outside with my tea and a book. I didn't like the thought of being distracted by doing jobs and potentially not noticing he was awake. But if my neighbours had got funny with me about it I would have told them where to go. Nosy neighbours who think they can guilt trip you over YOUR child are the ones who ABU

redladybird · 30/06/2017 18:08

If it is a a communal garden then no and I wouldn't. I would also never leave my child in the car to sleep as some have suggested.

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 18:10

thank you for your concern, but what makes you think I am not in my garden?

Idratherhaveacupoftea · 30/06/2017 18:15

Blimey, in the70s we left ours in the front garden, you'd see rows of prams with babies sitting up enjoying the sights. We also left them outside shops, to my knowledge not one baby was stolen, had photos taken, interfered with in any way. I'd come out of shops to find loads of elderly people chatting to mine.Grin

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 18:16

It's Friday and it's a nice day, some posters really should go and get some fresh air, they seem to need it instead of posting so much nonsense and failing to start a fight

Oh, only because you raised the subject, I assumed you had included yourself in that little group. So, what makes you think everyone else is not in their gardens? Wink

Gardens are lovely places - excellent for getting babies to sleep, IME. Fresh air, birds singing, bees buzzing. Smells of freshly-mown lawns. Aahhh! Lovely

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 18:25

well, the whole point of the thread is about adults not going in their garden but leaving their baby there... We wouldn't have had this discussion to start with if everybody was there in the first place. Smile

hollyisalovelyname · 30/06/2017 18:34

What would worry me is some randomer was able to access your garden so easily.
That would frighten me.
What if he was an abductor and not a concerned neighbour ?

ChildishGambino · 30/06/2017 18:37

I don't, mainly because there's a crazy dog which scares the shit out of me down the road. I don't trust it so I don't do it.

Original poster
Lozzy5790 · 30/06/2017 18:51

Hollyisalovelyname (it is btw!) Even if he had nefarious intentions I was at the baby before he was.

But truthfully, I just don't think child abductions are that common - she's more likely to come to harm from someone we know than a randomer, and so what's the difference if she's in the garden or a house? At least if it's the garden then maybe another neighbour would spot something? Playing a bit of devils advocate here but think about it.

OP posts:
Mouse510 · 30/06/2017 18:51

I leave my baby out in the garden in his pram to sleep every day but as my neighbours have a cat I've got a cat net that fits over the pram, it stops midges too (useful here in Scotland!). It was only about a fiver. I find he sleeps better in the fresh air.

kali110 · 30/06/2017 18:55

Op
How did your neighbour get in the garden anyway?

butternutsquashtime · 30/06/2017 19:05

No I'm afraid I wouldn't leave my baby in the garden

MotherofPearl · 30/06/2017 19:24

YANBU OP. I think it sounds fine, and a good system.
The only thing nagging at me is that I'm sure I read a newspaper article a few years back about a baby being badly bitten by a fox while sleeping in its pram in the garden. But I may have misremembered the details, and obviously this would be extremely rare.

Crumbs1 · 30/06/2017 19:27

The risks today are probably less than they used to be. Fresh air is good for babies and neuroticism isn't.
Good for you.

takeaweeseat · 30/06/2017 19:27

I for one think you are disgusting. You never leave your child alone that way . You are obviously neglectful and don't care a fig if someone was to abduct your child.
All it would have taken is one second and she would have been gone and potentially abused and murdered

Wow, bet you're really hard work to be around.

greendale17 · 30/06/2017 19:29

YABU- your garden does not sound secure and you are not even on the same floor as the pram

hollyisalovelyname · 30/06/2017 20:33

I would leave baby out in my back garden but it is a semi detached house with a locked side entrance and high walls.
I would have an insect net over the hood area.

IStoleDipsysHat · 30/06/2017 20:44

Get a lock for the gate, an insect net and chuck the baby monitor in the pram. Even better if you have one that records video. Then you can threaten to report nosy sod to the police and you have video evidence of him trespassing Grin . Oh and just to be sure there's no added temptation, stop leaving your valuables under the pram.

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