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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving DD sleeping in pram in garden.

113 replies

Lozzy5790 · 30/06/2017 16:31

I live in terraced flats. Since DD (8 mos) was tiny, if she fell asleep in her pram I would just leave her at the bottom of the steps asleep (obviously as long as it wasn't raining). At first I would sit outside with her but over time I've started using the time to do a spot of housework. I only ever do housework in the hall or the kitchen so I can always see her. Where I leave her is one floor down from where I am but she's in eye sight the whole time and in a back garden - you can't see her from the street. I could probably get to her faster when she wakes up than someone in a bigger two story house could get to their baby.

Some new people have moved in to a flat a few gardens down, so from their door they can see our garden, and today I was hoovering the hallway and saw the man walk into our garden. Obviously I went out straight away and he said to me "I'm glad you're here this time- my wife and I don't like you leaving her out there unattended for hours at a time! Anything could happen to her or someone could take her. When you left her out on Monday my wife had to sit at the window all day to make sure she was ok. Please don't do it anymore."

To be clear I'm not leaving her out there for hours - I'm letting her finish her nap in her pram in the garden in my full view. As soon as she wakes up in right there for her. The only people who should be in our garden are us and the people who live in the flat next door (which is no one at the moment).

I'm not BU here am I? Happy to be told I'm being neglectful if I am but I don't see the point in waking her up when she's happy?

Also, if IANBU what should I say to the guy next time (if there is one?) This time I just kind of looked at him and said that I'm right here and she's fine.

OP posts:

kali110 · 30/06/2017 17:30

How did he get in your garden?
Id have asked him what he thought he was doing coming into my garden..

RatherBeRiding · 30/06/2017 17:31

I would, and did. Technically someone could have walked in off the street, down our drive and round to the back of our house. No-one did.

Is there a way to secure your back garden? Lock on the gate?

Not in the slightest bit unreasonable to leave a sleeping baby unattended in your own back garden if you are close by. However, as your neighbours obviously feel entitled to come onto your property I would take steps to stop that happening.

WellErrr · 30/06/2017 17:32

Aren't you a delight, Portishead?

It's fine to leave your baby sleeping in your own garden, in a safe pushchair where you can see it.

Portishead200 · 30/06/2017 17:32

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster

Lozzy5790 · 30/06/2017 17:32

So, consensus seems to be it's probably Ok, but maybe the garden should be more secure. I'm going to tell him to mind his own business if he says something again.

Also, I do actually leave my handbag at bottom of pram with purse and iPad in it - although in theory anyone could walk into the garden it just doesn't happen. I've been at home for almost a year now and that's the first time someone's come in that shouldn't have.

I'm going to keep leaving her out and see if he says something else. (And do a spot extra housework in case he calls SS, lol)

OP posts:

PollyPelargonium52 · 30/06/2017 17:34

Surely in a garden a cat could enter and frighten or jump on the baby? What about insects/wasps/bees etc?

I guess they must know what they are doing in Scandinavia ....

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 17:34

Everybody did it... but now it seems babies will dissolve/get stolen by fairies/bitten by a fox/insert appropriate event.

Everybody use to drive without seat belts, leave their car unlocked and their front door opened. What's your point?

Redredredrose · 30/06/2017 17:34

It's not leaving your baby outside that's the issue to me, it's leaving her in a garden that's not secure. Also, with the best will in the world, if you're doing jobs around the house, you're not watching her.

Salmotrutta · 30/06/2017 17:34

Are you on the sauce Portishead?

The OP has said she can see the baby. And she saw the neighbour coming in too

FannyWisdom · 30/06/2017 17:35

Salmot some of the things we did then would land us in jail today

Mine always finished their sleep outside.
I could see through the kitchen window, trust me they survived.

Redredredrose · 30/06/2017 17:36

If it's terraced flats... Is it a shared garden? Sorry if you've clarified this already.

KatieC0811 · 30/06/2017 17:36

HE is being VVU to come into your garden and interfer with your baby! What would he have done if you weren't down in 5 seconds, wheeled her to his flat?! My DS sleeps in our garden, always has, and we have a shared access garden, so spoke to our neighbour about it and she doesn't even use the access and has assured us she used to do the same when her DD was a baby! I'm agog at the cheek of your neighbours! YANBU (have a coffee whilst shes out there too! )

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 17:38

Hmm Portishead sounds as though she might live in North America (just going on the spelling of neighbour/neighbor). As we all know, the US is not very person-friendly, given all the guns they're allowed to carry around.

Leaving a child in your own garden to sleep is perfectly fine, if you're there to keep an eye. I did it with my DD, even when it was snowing (yes, she was all snuggly and covered - my sanity thanked me in droves). I always knew the second an unexpected visitor visited.

Portishead is a scaremonger. Take no notice.

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 17:39

reading some of the comments, it sounds like the advice for any concerned neighbour is never to intervene, so what? call social services instead of having a word with the mum?

I would rather someone worrying for nothing than ignoring a child because it's none of their business and just have to read the news to see what happens

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 17:40

Surely in a garden a cat could enter and frighten or jump on the baby? What about insects/wasps/bees etc?

Waaaahh! Helicopter parents!

mumeeee · 30/06/2017 17:40

Portishead you are being ridiculous and unhelpful.

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 17:42

given all the guns they're allowed to carry around.

what a truly disgusting comment, especially after the Chatham tragedy yesterday, you should be ashamed of yourself EvansOvalPies. Trolls trying to start a fight on any given subject are pathetic.

Groupie123 · 30/06/2017 17:46

@EvansOvalPies - what if a wasp stung the baby, he/she had an allergic reaction, and mum came back to find her unable to breathe or worse? People used to let their babies sleep outside a lot when my (Indian) gran was a kid & she wouldn't let my mum do it because in those days kids used to randomly die while sleeping outside. On some occasions mums would walk out to find decomposing bodies (my gran was one of them and traumatised).

user1494237944 · 30/06/2017 17:46

Absolutely let her sleep in the fresh air - I left all 3 of mine in our back garden in their prams - admittedly our garden very secure with fences and high back gate locked and bolted, but you are keeping an eye on her so 'go for it' and if your strange neighbour ever appears again you can tell him to politely mind his own business!

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 17:46

Trolls trying to start a fight on any given subject are pathetic
Well - that's a first. Never been called a Troll before!
Haha. Jog on, love.

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 17:47

Groupie - you can buy insect nets, if you're afraid of an insect invasion.

BewareOfDragons · 30/06/2017 17:48

"All day? What a gross exaggeration of my daughter's daily [one hour] nap in the fresh air when the weather is nice while I keep an eye on her. Your wife is a liar. If you enter my garden again without permission I will call the police. Please leave."

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/06/2017 17:48

for one think you are disgusting. You never leave your child alone that way . You are obviously neglectful and don't care a fig if someone was to abduct your child. All it would have taken is one second and she would have been gone and potentially abused and murdered

did someone actually type that [shocked]

sadly we are not in 1970, or Scandi OP.

I left DS in my garden and my neighbour told me off as she was worried a fox would eat him!!!!

Coddiwomple · 30/06/2017 17:49

It's Friday and it's a nice day, some posters really should go and get some fresh air, they seem to need it instead of posting so much nonsense and failing to start a fight.

EvansOvalPies · 30/06/2017 17:49

On some occasions mums would walk out to find decomposing bodies

Good grief - with all due respect, you'd have to have left a child out for days for this to happen? How can this possibly compare with leaving baby to sleep in the garden for an hour, whilst being watched? Some people are being quite ridiculous.

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