To consider giving up pets now we have kids

[Hermitmummy]

I know the answer is yes, they are part of the family but I'm completely overwhelmed by 1 year old DC and animals.

They've recently been away to kennels/cattery while we had work done in the house and life was so much easier! They've been back a week and I'm already feeling resentment towards them

I feel like they are an emotional and financial drain and they take away time i could be devoting to DC, before I got pregnant I would never of dreamed of giving them up but now it just seem all too much with work and the housework and the baby add in the animals and it's all too much.

Go ahead and tell me I'm a terrible person.

[lizzyj4]

OP, the important thing is quality of life for yourself and your dc. Yes, you took on responsibility for your pets, but circumstances change, if the pets have become a burden, rehome them. They will be better off and you can focus on what is most important. Please don''t feel guilty about it.

When my exh moved out he left his two dogs with me (on the understanding that he'd take them when he was living somewhere suitable); two years down the line and he told me he'd never be able to take them, as his current girlfriend already had a dog and a cat (they are real cat-haters). In the meantime, I'm having trouble walking them together (they're big enough to pull me over, especially when it's icy or wet, plus I have a chronic health condition and when I have flare-ups walking them is really setting me back). I did a huge amount of training with them, but it just didn't work (he'd never had them on a lead, for example, or even put collars on them, so we were really starting from scratch, and he refused to have them neutered). They still pulled on the lead, still pulled me over, still barked really loudly at virtually no provocation, still ran off if they could, and then they started marking in the house and fighting with each other - I mean real, nasty fights. They damaged the house and bullied my own dog. So eventually I rehomed them (which in itself was not easy, we'd had them since they were born, it took nearly 12 months to find a home and in the meantime, I was heavily criticised. My exh couldn't understand why I couldn't just cope with them for a few years 'as they're already 6'.) Our quality of life vastly improved after they went (and I'm sure their's did too). Sometimes, the most responsible thing, the best thing for you and your pets, is to find them a new home. I should say, I do have pets (two cats and a dog) and we all rub along happily, but I know what it's like to reach a point of 'not coping' with pets. If you're not, the fairest, best thing you can do for yourself, your dc and your pets is to find them a new home.

[MeanAger]

Maybe the baby is the problem. Rehome the baby and things will go back to how they were before.

[RodeoDriveBaby]

Fancy RTFT MeanAger?

This woman has PND and your extremely predictable and dull attempt at humour has already been tried on this thread, several times.

[Rinoachicken]

wombling fair correction, apologies

some people are being vile

[upperlimit]

...And other stupid shit you don't say to mothers struggling with pnd, hey MeanAger?

[Suntrapped]

Pets are not fucking accessories or toys

No but neither are they human. People take priority over animals. I wasn't suggesting OP abandon them in the street or have them PTS, just get them rehomed eg take them to an animal centre.

What's the point paying a fortune for doggy daycare when they're not bringing you any pleasure? When they're making your life harder?

OP I would try to detach emotionally from the dogs. You don't owe them anything beyond finding them a new home. Focus on your new baby and your health (emotional as well as physical). Try to reduce stress and simplify life as much as possible. This stage will pass

[VladmirsPoutine]

To be fair to Koala, a drip feed of that kind does tend to change perspective a great deal.

[upperlimit]

Well if you are going to charge in with a personal attack maybe rtft?

[PetalsOnPearls]

Well if you are going to charge in with a personal attack maybe rtft?

Yep.

[secretnutter]

We have 2 large very high energy dogs and 2DC, I'll be honest I felt the same way when DS2 was born, it was very overwhelming and seemed to add unnecessary stress and work to a fraught household....BUT....I couldn't dream of getting rid of them they're my hairy babies, it got much much easier once DS2 was walking and sleeping through the night! Give your furries the love they deserve, the difficult times will pass and you'll be relieved you didn't ship them off! That being said my other mummy friends think I'm bonkers with them all

[MeanAger]

apologies! Of course I should have RTfT. I've been there with PND. It's the pits. I kept the pets though. Was more likely to hand over the babies at various stages tbh.

[Suntrapped]

My post about animals being disposable wasn't aimed at her it was aimed at the idiot who said it's okay to get rid when they are a bother

The pet has to bring something positive to your life otherwise there is no point. Do you think people get pets out of charity, with no benefit to themselves? There has to be a balance. Dogs are messy, smelly, expensive and use up a lot of your time and energy. They give back by providing company, affection. If the negatives outweigh the positives why keep one?

Lots of people rehome their pets when a baby arrives. Some dogs get jealous and can't be trusted around an infant, others get destructive or unhappy or the new parents can't cope with the care they need. Rehoming is a sensible option, nothing to feel guilty about. Pets need to fit in with your lifestyle.

[MaudGonneMad]

I really hate these threads. This is a particularly unedifying example. Hope all those who piled in to sneer at and pour venom on the OP have the decency to feel a bit chagrined at least.

[WomblingThree]

Actually OP, your mention that your dog is guarding is worrying. I hope to God you don't leave the baby and dog together for even a second.

[SlothMama]

People should look further ahead then, if you will give up a pet because of them not fitting in or bringing you happiness.

They are a living being, they had no choice in the matter of you bringing them home. It's why when you look to buy that cute puppy or kitten you need to think further ahead. Such as if you are renting does the landlord allow pets, do your working hours fit in with a pet, is this particular breed good with children, has this animal been brought up with children.

I know a lot of people rehome their pets when they have children, I volunteer for charities and will often collect these pets from their owners. Personally I think it's wrong as not all of these pets are rehomed. They either end up in kennels for years or are sadly PTS.

OP has plenty of options she can explore before she gets rid, maybe even showing this post to her DH will open his eyes and make him do more.

[upperlimit]

I'm not sure that many people can see pnd in their future. And,even if you did, look at how it has been minimised on this thread as a temporary inconvenience. How would anyone know what could come ahead.

I realise that you post is in reply to another poster sloth but the circumstances around the op are being lost between generalised rants about how people are 'failing to live up to their responsibilities'. It seems unkind to the op to forge ahead with that on this thread.

[PetalsOnPearls]

MeanAger

Thanks for having the balls to come in apologise.

[MeanAger]

It's not balls. I made a dicky comment before reading the thread. An apology was due.

[tabulahrasa]

"I'm not sure that many people can see pnd in their future. And,even if you did, look at how it has been minimised on this thread as a temporary inconvenience"

PND is for most people a temporary thing though, as are clingy non sleeping babies, rehoming pets isn't.

I'd have been devastated if I'd rehomed my dog in the middle of that stage to realise once it had passed that actually with a bit of support it would all have worked out and I hadn't actually needed to at all.

[AtHomeDadGlos]

I don't think you're being unreasonable.

I asked a friend of mine what they'd be doing with their dog when his wife was 6 months pregnant. Went down like a lead balloon...

[Hermitmummy]

Why is the guarding worrying with the baby?
They are very protective of DC, I had a bit of a moment and had to put DC upstairs in the cot so I could eat something as they wouldn't let me eat and both dogs stayed upstairs on the landing.
They are good with DC they are very patient when toys get taken and or fur gets grabbed. The younger one can be a bit possessive of toys but he'll let DC take his bone - not that I let this happen if I can help it before I get jumped on for putting my baby at risk of being mauled to death or anything else horrific.

[mum22boys83]

Just a message for OP, I worked with rescue dogs, it's heartbreaking to see them given up.
Your tired and down, I would suggest a dog walker as you've already thought off so you get a couple of hours break or ring breed specific rescues ( even if cross bred with a particular breed) , lots don't end up in kennels and can go to foster home straight away, do your research and you may have to wait while they sort it but it's the best chance for the dogs.
I also suffer with PTSD and have found my dogs a source of comfort but I don't have a baby, personally I don't think I could cope!
Please don't feel guilty i'm sure your thinking of the dogs as much as you are your baby and your sanity.
I hope you find a way to keep them but don't let anyone judge you in a decision either way.

All the best

[CheeseAtFourpence]

What about doggie daycare for a day or two a week. You get a break and they have some fun.

[SlothMama]

I guess the guarding may worry some people because the dog may be seen as unpredictable or it could snap and hurt someone. As long as they are supervised around the baby they'll be fine. Which from reading your posts they are.
Growing up I had a dog who was soft as a brush but was very protective of me and my brother. She never hurt anyone but would nip other dogs if she felt they were to close to her humans!