To consider giving up pets now we have kids

[Hermitmummy]

I know the answer is yes, they are part of the family but I'm completely overwhelmed by 1 year old DC and animals.

They've recently been away to kennels/cattery while we had work done in the house and life was so much easier! They've been back a week and I'm already feeling resentment towards them

I feel like they are an emotional and financial drain and they take away time i could be devoting to DC, before I got pregnant I would never of dreamed of giving them up but now it just seem all too much with work and the housework and the baby add in the animals and it's all too much.

Go ahead and tell me I'm a terrible person.

[SuperBeagle]

YANBU, OP, they're just animals

What a vile attitude. You, too, are "just" an animal.

[WeeMadArthur]

Is there anyone who could have them for a short time to give you a break? Dog went to MILs for a month when DS was at the peak of his night feeding and I was an exhausted rag. It was best for him as he had someone to dote on him, take him for long walks ( and over feed him) and it gave me a break, and then when I had the energy he came back

[Sewingbeatshousework]

We thought we were done having children (school age), so in addition to the 2 cats we also got 8 Guinea pigs & 2 rabbits. I'm a sucker for a charity case.

Anyway I fell unexpectedly pregnant and I'm now about to pop & struggling so dread to think what it's going to be like once baby is here. I genuinely don't think I could rehome any though, unless they were suffering through lack of care if I'm not managing which is obviously a different matter.

I'm trying to find someone to help me out with the upkeep of hutches etc, is there a dog walker etc you could get to help you out?

[Floralnomad]

IMO yes you are a terrible person , but I've got no issues with anybody rehoming their pets provided that they learn from it and don't 3 years down the line when the kids decide they want a cat / dog then get anymore , because you have already proven to be feckless and irresponsible . I'd like to see a register somewhere so breeders / rescues could check before selling whether people have done this in the past . Also if you do get rid of them please do it via a reputable rescue and don't gumtree them to end up as dog fight bait .

[Nancy91]

Pets are a great thing for kids to grow up around. I bet your little one will love them. Don't make a rash decision.!

[plantsitter]

You are brave to say so on here. I don't know how people can say other people's feelings are absurd so feel resentful if you do. What you do about it is the thing. Honestly my cats get right on my tits because they are so needy but it's not their fault and the kids love them so I behave as if I don't find them intensely irritating.

However it's your responsibility to make sure they are cared for - that might mean giving them to someone who can care for them. No judgement from me.

[DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops]

You can only do so much, everyone has their limit as to what they can cope with. Although I don't think I'd be able to stop worrying about where DPets end up. Children like pets, too. Your DC probably won't thank you in a couple of years and you'll start the cycle again.

[DJBaggySmalls]

The decent thing to do is pay for their upkeep until they are rehomed.

[Booboobooboo84]

Ok well that's much more understandable as to why your feeling overwhelmed. It doesnt make you a terrible person.

I think maybe give yourself a week to try and train some of the behaviour out of them. So anytime they go and sit quietly in bed they get lots of fuss and belly scratches. So they reassociate good behaviour with attention. What's causing them to bark? Is it a doorbell or phone. I have never managed to train my dog to not run like a loon whenever I'm on the phone. It sounds like I've got a sex pest in the house with a big old dog running around panting. It sounds to me like they need attention and maybe you just need to reconnect with them a bit.

Anyone who hasn't considered giving up on their pet hasn't been shit on at 3am to let you know they have diarrhoea. Briefly you consider it and then you move on. Maybe people could give advise rather than trash the OP. She's not a terrible person.

[RainyDayBear]

I do think YABU, I have a cat and would only consider rehoming if he was aggressive to DD (he adores her and lets her stroke and prod him incessantly) or she were allergic to him.

Can you get a dog walker or something to help out?

[Augustbabyyeah]

I think the dogs need some expert input. Dogs should not be behaving like that. Get some advice rather than considering getting rid of them. What's making them bark so much? Ours only barks when someone is at the door. If the baby is asleep I put a note on the door saying do not disturb.

[LakieLady]

Dogs are always unsettled when they've spent time in kennels and once they've had time to get back into their routine they will calm down.

Rehoming is an awful thing to do to a dog, they are very social animals and develop deep bonds with their "pack". They often struggle to adjust and develop problem behaviours in a new home, then end up being rehomed again.

Could you hire a dog walker to give them a good run once a day so that that's one less thing you have to worry about? A dog that is tired won't feel so needy. Also make sure they have toys, stuffed kongs etc to keep them busy and stimulated indoors.

[yourcarisnotadiscovery]

I don't think you are a bad person at all. You have said yourself you are feeling overwhelmed and life is especially difficult with an ill baby. Dogs are a lot of work but hang in there as things will get easier - any family members /close friends that could help you out (with walking etc?). Do you have a kennel in the garden with an outside area where the dogs would be happy to be in good weather (and where they are safe)? Might be nice for them to be outside and give you a bit of space

[Floralnomad]

august , well aren't you lucky mine barks if he sees anything in the garden , cats out of the window upstairs etc , he doesn't need 'expert input' . OP surely eventually they'll settle into a routine and baby will learn to sleep through noise

[yourcarisnotadiscovery]

Lakielady v helpful advice

[Stopnamechanging]

Maybe people could give advise rather than trash the OP. She's not a terrible person

She didn't ask for advice in her op. She wants posters to come and tell her to re home, which some have already done.

These threads happen all the time, I am afraid that I get tired of being involved with rescue and picking up the pieces from other people not considering pets for the whole of their lifetime.

The dogs follow her around, they are bonded with her and love her. Nothing that I say will make any difference.

We had a cat that was sitting for three years in a cage in a rescue. Three miserable years because the owners had a baby.

He was eight years old and dumped, no bother, cats are easy pets. He died of cancer about a year after I rescued him, so sad.

[Tops38]

Umm yes..I think YABU but tbh it sounds more like you're struggling than actually don't like the pets.
The dogs will be sensing your feelings which will be making them more anxious too. Can you get a walker in to help you a couple of days a week?
I have six kids..six dogs..four cats.. They are all family .
Soon your little one will be at nursery/sleeping through/then off to school...it gets easier honestly !

[Hermitmummy]

I've had severe PND since DC was born, I was getting better but I think I've relapsed the last few weeks from the stress of all the building work. I've sat and cried today and I've not done that for months

We don't have any family up here and non of our friends are dog lovers so no one to help out, I did look at borrow my dog maybe I need to sign up and try and get someone to share the walking.

I can't walk them at the moment as they pull and it's too dangerous with the baby, all the training I'd previously done with them has gone out the window as my husband is a dick and isn't consistent with commands.

[Tops38]

P.s I work in rescue and I'll be honest...new baby - no time for dog is one of the most annoying reasons for rehoming.
There are plenty of other things to try before going down that route.

[yourcarisnotadiscovery]

Hermitmummy good idea re borrow my doggy. and please get some help for your PND too

[Tops38]

Can you get out with the dogs for a bit once hubby is home to watch the baby in the evenings/at the weekend? Some you time to clear your head might help. Sorry to hear you're feeling so down x

[Augustbabyyeah]

Floralnomad

I have to disagree with you on this. I think it would help the OP if her dogs didn't bark so much. It seems to be one of the things that's getting to her. I'd far rather try and offer advice on improving the situation rather than criticising the OP, or agreeing that the dogs should go. Getting a dog to bark less will take time, work, practice, and consistency. It won’t happen overnight, but with proper techniques and time, you can see progress. I'm not lucky, I have a well trained dog.

[PacificDogwod]

Ok, so you have a young baby, an unsupportive H, are ill with PND, have building work in the house AND poorly behaving pets - no wonder you are overwhelmed

Something will have to give, won't it?

1. Seek help for your MH - GP asap
   
2. Get a dog walker organised.
   
3. Show H this thread or talk to him or LTB - He cannot just leave you to it like that. A dick of partner is worse than no partner.
   
4. Could you afford some paid childcare to get some time for yourself?
   

You need to be brutally honest with yourself and those around you what you can and cannot manage.

[Augustbabyyeah]

It would appear that the DH could also benefit from some training.

[SapphireStrange]

Well, your husband needs to raise his game for starters.

But yes, get on to Borrow My Doggy. You can't just let them go unwalked.