Re school changing rooms (swimming)

[FancyFingers]

My ds yr 2, is swimming this term with school. It's changed venue from a local school with a tiny pool, to a huge pool, which is also attached to a school, but is open to the general public as well; my son's school hire two lanes for an hour.

Anyway, he has had two sessions already and has worried me a bit with the changing facilities.

He goes in the afternoon, but wants to wear his trunks under his uniform, which is new for him. He says it's embarrassing as they have loads of "random people" in the changing room.

Apparently (according to Ds) the boys are separated from the girls. The girls have cubicles which they use in pairs, but the boys are in a the men's changing rooms which are communal.

At this point I didn't realise the pool was open to the public, and asked him who these random people are? Which he replied with "just strangers coming in and out", I thought he meant the TAs or teachers etc.

I mentioned it to the headteacher when dropping him off as they were on the gate, and this is how I know they have 2 lanes and it's open to the public. I said what my ds had said about random people, and this is what he is referring to. The ht said not to worry as they have a member of staff with them when in the changing rooms. But when I helped out with swimming last time (at the other pool) the ta would be in and out, pulled in all directions. The boys had a communal room here too, but only they were using the pool, and parent helpers had to be dbs checked of course.

I just feel bothered by this. That strangers to the children share a room with them whilst undressed basically.

Aibu and a prude? Would this bother you at all?

A school visitor who is not DBS checked can not stay with the children whilst they get changed, so why can random adults be around the children when they change

I imagine it's because the children aren't left alone in the changing room . There's a TA there supervising them.

For the same reason, I don't need to be DBS checked to go swimming in my local gym on a Saturday morning when there are always kids getting undressed in the changing room for Saturday morning swim lessons.

I ... fail to see the problem?

Apparently there are no random strangers walking in and out of the changing room, it is male strangers, i.e. strangers of the same sex as your son. Which is how things are organised at public pools.

If he feels uncomfortable being naked even in a sex segregated area, which seems for some reason to be the norm for British children and teens, then he can wrap a towel round his waist for changing. Problem solved.

I never understand why people mention other countries cultures on threads like this. What people do in Finland is no more relevant to this thread than what people do in Saudi Arabia. People have every right to not want to be forced to undress in front of others, regardless of what people are doing in Scandinavia or wherever.

The point is woollytights is that we don't do our children any favours teaching them to be embarrassed or anxious about getting changed in public - those feelings don't come naturally, they come from upbringing and culture and so we can raise our children instead to be more confident about their bodies and less embarrassed which makes life much easier for them (trying to get changed with a towel wrapped around you is a faff and worrying that someone is going to see you just gets you down - I used to be like that so I know how it is and the negative impact it has, and also that its possible to change that mindset)

I agree Natsu.

'The point is woollytights is that we don't do our children any favours teaching them to be embarrassed or anxious about getting changed in public '
It isn't 'teaching them to be embarrassed', it is ensuring school children have a right to privacy from strangers when getting undressed. I don't know any schools that have kids getting undressed in a communal area open to the public. None.

YANBU or being a prude either, yes it would bother me and in your situation I would stop him from going swimming, my son is 5 and he would refuse to get undressed in front of anyone except me and his dad.

It isn't 'teaching them to be embarrassed', it is ensuring school children have a right to privacy from strangers when getting undressed. I don't know any schools that have kids getting undressed in a communal area open to the public. None.

Well clearly this school does, and if that's their only option then all OP can do is do her best to teach her son not to be embarrassed or anxious about getting changed there, and it makes sense for all parents to teach that anyway because most children are going to have to get changed in a public communal changing room at some point in their life so why make it harder for them?

yabu,what do you want them to do?
close the pool to the public?
There are ta there with them, they're not being left alone.
Guessing the pool can't afford to close whilst the kids are there.
When we went swimming the pool wasn't closed to the public either.

I think that's what the OP wants, kali110, and some pools do, like they do for swimming clubs' training sessions - but it's their call.

Kali the pool doesn't need to be closed to the public. The changing rooms can - and often are - temporarily closed for the ten or so minutes a large school group takes to get changed before or after swimming. It's not difficult to achieve.