Re school changing rooms (swimming)

[FancyFingers]

My ds yr 2, is swimming this term with school. It's changed venue from a local school with a tiny pool, to a huge pool, which is also attached to a school, but is open to the general public as well; my son's school hire two lanes for an hour.

Anyway, he has had two sessions already and has worried me a bit with the changing facilities.

He goes in the afternoon, but wants to wear his trunks under his uniform, which is new for him. He says it's embarrassing as they have loads of "random people" in the changing room.

Apparently (according to Ds) the boys are separated from the girls. The girls have cubicles which they use in pairs, but the boys are in a the men's changing rooms which are communal.

At this point I didn't realise the pool was open to the public, and asked him who these random people are? Which he replied with "just strangers coming in and out", I thought he meant the TAs or teachers etc.

I mentioned it to the headteacher when dropping him off as they were on the gate, and this is how I know they have 2 lanes and it's open to the public. I said what my ds had said about random people, and this is what he is referring to. The ht said not to worry as they have a member of staff with them when in the changing rooms. But when I helped out with swimming last time (at the other pool) the ta would be in and out, pulled in all directions. The boys had a communal room here too, but only they were using the pool, and parent helpers had to be dbs checked of course.

I just feel bothered by this. That strangers to the children share a room with them whilst undressed basically.

Aibu and a prude? Would this bother you at all?

I used to volunteer to help when my dc went swimming with school. The boys changed in one communal room, the girls in another. I was always supervising the boys - am DBS/CRB checked.

There should be a teacher and a TA with the class - one should be with the girls, one with the boys.

I don't think there's too much to fear from 5 mins of getting changed in a communal changing room with members of the public, do you? What do you think is going to happen?

Most people would think 'God, must remember not to arrive this time next week', get changed as quickly as possible and head out. They may not want to share a pool/room with 30 loud, over-excited children.

I would assume it would have to be a male member of staff with them and they are few and far between in primaries.

Nope, our school was happy with me (parent) being the only adult with the boys when they changed.

But why would you assume the teacher / TA wasn't with them the whole time if that's what the RA says? Seems unlikely that they'd just nip out for a coffee.

That's fine as long as the teacher or TA are constantly supervising and don't leave the room, yes.

' How does it help a child to be uneasy about getting changed in front of strangers in a setting where getting changed in front of strangers is normal? Are you uneasy at getting changed in a changing room'

I would expect a child in Y2 not to have to get undressed in front of strangers yes. Getting changed in front of their friends fine, strangers where the supervising adult will be in and out? no.

No I'm not uneasy, I may be if I was in year 2 though.

As a teacher and a keen swimmer I would not be happy at all with this arrangement. I presume the TA is female so couldn't be in a communal men's changing room? I know of several unpleasant incidents involving random males in our local pool but they have been dealt with well by the staff there.

I should add that the unpleasant incidents have been much more common than you would expect.

Maybe I was a bit OTT, I apologise.

I just feel it's a slippery slope to allow attitudes like this to grow.

There really is no danger to your son in getting changed in a public swimming pool changing room. I understand he might feel self conscious (although I don't really understand why as he's only 6 years old) but I would take this as a teaching opportunity and enable him to feel more confident when changing. This would include telling him that while it is ok to get changed in a public area like this no one should ever touch him etc (including teachers and friends).

Mushy I have been a teacher for many years and have never experienced any untoward behaviour or incidents in a public pool or changing room.

This would include telling him that while it is ok to get changed in a public area like this no one should ever touch him etc (including teachers and friends).

Sex offenders don't have to touch to offend. Flashing, touching themselves....that's happened to me in a public changing area.

Mushy I have been a teacher for many years and have never experienced any untoward behaviour or incidents in a public pool or changing room.

that's probably because you wouldn't be there when it was experienced...

But who's saying that the responsible adult will be in and out? Of course that would be unacceptable but why presume it would happen?

Good lord

It's a changing room with a TA in there. Just don't get the issue

My expectation would be that if they have changed from a private to a public pool they would have also considered the safeguarding and instead of a Teacher/TA 'popping in and out' they would now have one in there permanently.

Why not check with DS whether there is an adult from school in there throughout the changing time.

I tell my DDs that no one is interested in her body if she has bits on show for a short while whilst getting changed in (female) communal changing. But simultaneously I have taught her to be reasonably discreet about it.

I find the set up unusual. I'm (indirectly) involved with the management of about half a dozen local authority leisure centres. School users have separate changing rooms to use when they come for swimming. The rest of the centre is still open to the public but they cannot access the school changing area during school use times.

Ok, thank you for the replies.

I have 3 boys and my older 2 went to the same school, but used pools that weren't open to the public.

Parents aren't needed to help anymore. When I helped previously, the TA was pulled in all directions, due to all manner of reasons. They are all female staff at the primary apart from the HT.

Ds isn't usually uncomfortable with changing for swimming (never was before) and never asked to wear trunks under his clothes. When we go swimming they have family changing cubicles.

I was just going by how he phrased things, and it worried me somewhat. In an ideal world it shouldn't be a problem. Ds uses men's toilets but will more often go with one of his brothers or dh.

If I'm wrong to feel uncomfortable then I'll take that.

It's a changing room with a TA in there. Just don't get the issue

I'd agree with you - but the OP has explained that the TA doesn't remain with them

If I'm wrong to feel uncomfortable then I'll take that

Trust your instinct and discuss your concerns with someone at the school. You might feel more reassured after that.

'But who's saying that the responsible adult will be in and out? Of course that would be unacceptable but why presume it would happen?'

The op said 'But when I helped out with swimming last time (at the other pool) the ta would be in and out, pulled in all directions' so its understandable she'd have concerns really.

You wouldn't be wrong to check that the correct safeguarding measures are in place. I'd be puzzled at how it worked with a female member of staff in the men's changing room if other men are changing there. I wouldn't personally worry if a member of staff was present though.

' School users have separate changing rooms to use when they come for swimming. The rest of the centre is still open to the public but they cannot access the school changing area during school use times.'

Yes, always been my experience too. Different when we go on our own with dc, but then so many things are. When there's 30 7yr olds a better plan should be in place.

As long as the TA is in there at all times, I think it's fine. Popping in and out is not. I'm a TA btw but work in a school with its own swimming pool, so not dealt with this one before. However on school trips I stand at the door of the toilets with the door open. I wouldn't let kids go in alone so I wouldn't do it either in a changing room.

Our school's policy is this:
children are in seperate changing room. There are adults around in the changing rooms as they come out, but the kids ahev a room to themselves.
Actually this was the case when I went to school swimming year sago and when I was teaching, there was a large room, one for the boys and one for the girls, no public allowed in.

Also, because the kids are changing, there are always 2 adults.
TA plus parent in one and Teacher plus parent in the other.
This is a safeguarding rule and they would not allow the kids to be in a room where there are none approved adults and the kids are changing.

So, no I don't think you are being unreasonable. But it should be possible for the boys to use cubicles, or for the room to be temporarily for the exclusive use of the kids

I think it sounds fine. He's with his friends presumedly? Welcome to normal life where everyone has a body and needs to change clothes for certain activities.

There's a TA checking in and out in them. Let your son get on with his independence. This is a total non issue. If some man flashes him they will be thrown out. A flashing though inappropriate, shouldn't scar a person for life. There should be no reason to expect an assault considering it's a bunch of kids with a TA overseeing.

Nope, our school was happy with me (parent) being the only adult with the boys when they changed

I wasn't thinking of it from the schools side but the male members of the public wouldn't expect a female to be in their changing room.