Re school changing rooms (swimming)

[FancyFingers]

My ds yr 2, is swimming this term with school. It's changed venue from a local school with a tiny pool, to a huge pool, which is also attached to a school, but is open to the general public as well; my son's school hire two lanes for an hour.

Anyway, he has had two sessions already and has worried me a bit with the changing facilities.

He goes in the afternoon, but wants to wear his trunks under his uniform, which is new for him. He says it's embarrassing as they have loads of "random people" in the changing room.

Apparently (according to Ds) the boys are separated from the girls. The girls have cubicles which they use in pairs, but the boys are in a the men's changing rooms which are communal.

At this point I didn't realise the pool was open to the public, and asked him who these random people are? Which he replied with "just strangers coming in and out", I thought he meant the TAs or teachers etc.

I mentioned it to the headteacher when dropping him off as they were on the gate, and this is how I know they have 2 lanes and it's open to the public. I said what my ds had said about random people, and this is what he is referring to. The ht said not to worry as they have a member of staff with them when in the changing rooms. But when I helped out with swimming last time (at the other pool) the ta would be in and out, pulled in all directions. The boys had a communal room here too, but only they were using the pool, and parent helpers had to be dbs checked of course.

I just feel bothered by this. That strangers to the children share a room with them whilst undressed basically.

Aibu and a prude? Would this bother you at all?

I think it's unhygienic to have swimming trunk all day before going to the pool. It would be like him wearing his pants at the pool (aka they will NOT be clean).
Fwiw that's the reason why in France a lot of pools insist on speedo swimming trunks. Too many men wearing those trunk all day before splashing in the pool.

Re your ds being uncomfortable. I really struggle to see any issue about 'safeguarding'. They ahvea TA there, he is t in his own AND he hasn't been complaining about 'strange people' acting in a weird way. He is complaining about being naked in front of strangers.
But I do think that your ds has picked up the idea that you can't be naked in front of other people and therefore feels very uncomfortable about it. I'm afraid I agree this is likely to come from the way he was raised (with to some extend some good reasons). I would really encourage him to relax a bit about it. Maybe by going to pool with his dad and getting changed in the communal room.

Going there with his dad would also be an opportunity to teach him how to behave in such situation (i.e. You don't look at people etc... which will also mean he will know that these 'ransom' people will not be looking at him either (reassuring for him too)

Is'anecdote' meant to be a dig at me? It really happened. Somewhere in my emails I had notification from the head teacher and the news story is probably still on the Bristol Post website though the school lied about details to the reporter.

Safeguarding is a serious matter when children are changing at a pool also being used by members of the public.

Could possibly be down to a bit of modesty and shyness developing, which is fairly normal for a 7-8 year old boy.

I can't see a problem if there's a male TA or a dad supervising the group changing. If it is a female supervisor, then it surely wouldn't be in the main male changing area. That would be unacceptable.

I'm a TA. We took YR 5 swimming last year at a local pool attached to a secondary school. Communal changing rooms, but with cubicles. Head Teacher and me stayed in changing rooms until all kids were changed. No problems at all.

I wouldn't be happy about this either. I've been using public swimming pools for 50 years and never had to use a communal changing room. When I was at school myself there was a room kept aside for school children and/or swimming clubs, and seperate cubicles for members of the public. The pool I use now has a unisex changing village, with larger rooms for school groups, seperate family rooms and individual changing rooms. Really I wouldn't expect anything less in this day and age.
Swimming pools and changing rooms do tend to be a bit of a hot spot for voyeurs and perverts. There are plenty of reported incidents, for those who minimise the OP's concerns.

The pool I use now has a unisex changing village, with larger rooms for school groups, seperate family rooms and individual changing rooms. Really I wouldn't expect anything less in this day and age.

Neither would I in a new pool; but many pools are not new.

Its the same here in Finland Takk (except less strict on the age to be in the opposite sex changing rooms). The children grow up used to changing in one big room and showering naked and going to the sauna naked so they don't get bothered about nudity until puberty (when its just naturally awkward - usually see young teen girls keeping a towel wrapped round them right up until they get into the shower or sit in the sauna, dunno if its the same for boys) and its the same for swimming lessons (but in my town swimming lessons are done in the morning when the town pool isn't open to the public). I do think its great for giving them a healthy body image.

I don't think it's great for the boys to be changing in a communal changing room open to the public from the schools point of view. I think they ought to review this.

'What someone else is thinking is of no harm to my child if they keep in in their head'

What we do with our dc in our own time is different . One or 2 dc getting changed is not the same as a class full with one busy T.A. There was a long running thread recently about enforced showers etc at school and how humiliated dc felt. I think dc have a right to get changed in privacy, either a cubicle or if its communal then just with school friends not other adults.

Andrew I've used pools dating back to victorian times and never had to get changed in public. I just wouldn't do it, or expect my children to do it. If pools want the revenue from school groups they should be prepared to section off an area for the use of the school group.

OP's child feels uncomfortable getting undressed in front of others. Why do we as a society feel the need to enforce public nudity on those who would prefer privacy? The option should be there for those who want to get changed away from other naked strangers.

OP, speak to the head. At the very least, your son could use the toilets to quickly change if they cannot make alternative arrangements. It's what I used to do before our PE lesson.

nieffingidea The club pool I use has one male and one female bench and locker changing area. If that's the only pool around and they don't see it as to their commercial advantage to close to the members or the public when the school groups are in the schools must take it or leave it.

Wondering why we, as a society, would enforce nudity to people (not just children) is a good question.
But so is wondering why on earth we making nudity so taboo.

The reality is that, in the case of the OP, the choice is restricted. Her ds will have to get changed in the communal changing room. Unless she decides that he Is not to go swimming with his class.

A reminiscence. In 1974/5, which was another world, I was spending my mornings in college and my afternoons swatting, and I decided to have a swim in between. There were often school groups in and they and I might be changing at the same time - as I said, another world.

So there I was towelling my torso when their female teacher walked in to chivvy them along. And I yelled Madam, get out at the top of my voice, and she got out and the little bastards pupils hurried to tell me her name and the name of their school and said I should complain. They were third year primary and I was surprised that she thought she could come in even if there was nobody else on.

She saw me outside and apologised but said that there was no male teacher available and that "boys will mess about for ever more if they are not chased". I accepted her apology but told her that for the next few months I might well be changing and she would just have to manage, and she never did it again.

"Safeguarding issue" is the new "data protection" buzz words

Teach your DS to change under his towel if he's shy.

The situation is not ideal but there are teachers/TAs with the boys and the alternative would probably be for them to not use the pool at all. I assume there are no group changing rooms or the boys would use them.

I think men would have a different opinion on this to women, as we are normally much more used to getting changed, showering etc in communal areas.

Every swimming lesson I ever had, every secondary games and pE lesson, and after every rugby club training or match its all in the communal changin area and showers.

Games teachers used to stand by the entrance to the wall of showers and stop anyone trying to sneak a towel or pair of shorts in there. Get naked in everyone else's company or get a detention ( and probably a slap) so no one had an issue with it and still don't.

I really wouldn't have a problem with the setup as described

Nope, our school was happy with me (parent) being the only adult with the boys when they changed

Which actually shows how "safeguarding" goes wrong sometimes... one adult shouldn't be left with changing children for the protection of both the adult and the children. The adults should be in a pair or the children should be in the changing room themselves. Also it should be remembered that children are more in danger from an adult they know than a stranger (hence why one adult shouldn't be with them).

Op are there no cubicles in the male changing room?

OP - as an interim measure, can you get your child a poncho towel (or just make one by cutting a hole in the middle of an old towel)?

We used those when getting out of the sea and stripping out of wet things without wanting to flash everyone on the beach and I think it would work well if your DS is uncomfortable with communal changing rooms.

Lalaraya - you can have one adult with a group of children. You wouldn't ideally have one adult alone with a lone child.

Not many people on MN would cope with a holiday in Iceland. Fantastic outdoor pools all year round (and something very special about swimming in a Blizzard at -23) but you are required to shower naked in a communal area and staff and other swimmers do comment if you rush or don't wash your armpits, feet and nether regions properly. Means lower chlorine levels which is nice but also means Icelandic youngsters don't have the precious hang ups we foist on our children.

Surely this is a safeguarding issue?
This week I've been volunteering in a school and because I'm not DBS checked yet I can't be alone with the children and certainly can't be in the room when they're changing. So how is it acceptable for the children to be changing in front of random strangers?

Surely this is a safeguarding issue?
This week I've been volunteering in a school and because I'm not DBS checked yet I can't be alone with the children and certainly can't be in the room when they're changing. So how is it acceptable for the children to be changing in front of random strangers?

Teachers and TAs are DBS checked because they're in a position of trust and authority over the children. It's not because they might see them naked.

Means lower chlorine levels which is nice

Lower chlorine levels are so nice! My mum came swimming last time she visited me in Finland and commented on how much nicer it is to swim in a pool that doesn't absolutely reek of chlorine. People not showering properly (i.e. naked) before swimming is pretty gross even if there is a lot of chlorine - its one thing that people aren't shy to comment to strangers about here, and you'll be quickly told to get out if you try and go into the sauna with a swimming costume on!

@Joey7t8 You missed the point I was making though. A school visitor who is not DBS checked can not stay with the children whilst they get changed, so why can random adults be around the children when they change.