Pissed off that DD is moving out

[user1498753647]

DD is 21, recent graduate. Think she's making a stupid mistake in moving out - have always thought that rent is a game for mugs. I never rented, neither did DH and subsequently we own a house. All this airy-fairy talk of jobs and sharing a flat with her boyfriend/mates in London, miles away from her actual home. AIBU in nagging her to come to sense?

Buy her a house, or give her the money for a deposit. "Problem" solved

I hope you're joking!

I can't possibly think why she wants to move out

So she's going to live and work in London for a bit with her DP or friends, and it sounds like you aren't commutable for London, so living in your home isn't an option.

She wants to experience the London lifestyle and career opportunities. She wants to try living with her DP for a bit in a rented situation before committing to him long term.

Sounds like normal grown up behaviour.

Living with your mum and dad to save all your wages is fine for some people, but to many others it's too much like being an over grown teenager and delaying "adulthood" for years in exchange for a flat deposit. (Plus she and her dp might easily earn enough for a deposit while renting, lots of people do!)

Your life choices where the right ones for you and your now DH, that doesn't mean your DD has to structure her life exactly the same as you did.

Your baby has grown up, accept you no longer get to dictate the course of her life.

People who call renters 'mugs' are generally people who have never been in a situation where they have needed to rent,l to, you know, actually have somewhere to live.

Sounds like your DD wants to be an independent adult at 21. Why on earth not encourage that??

I'm 25 been renting since I finished at uni at 21. Quite happy with my flat and my independence. Been saving up and will continue to over the next few years to hopefully have my own house in the future. I'm no mug

God I wonder why she wants to move!

FYI I am nearly 30 and renting and will never be able to afford to buy because of my job. But yeah total mug.

Good for her. Get over yourself and wish her luck as you wave her goodbye.

You may even find you like the peace and quiet or are there any more at home like her?

Unless this is a joke I bet she can't get out soon enough and I can see why!

Fucking hell I'm surprised she's managed this long with you 😧

SaucyJack

Do you want to try again, OP? Reverse threads are really tedious and never get far. Of course you're entitled to live away from home, though I hope you've found a good job in London as it can be bloody expensive!

Slightly off topic, but what's a "reverse"?

It's when someone comes on and posts their AIBU from the point of view of the person they're having the disagreement with. People do it I think because they think that AIBU is full of people who'll give you a knee-jerk YABU so if you post the reverse you get more people agreeing with you.

All you can do is give her advice, if she takes it or not well thats up to her
as MN posters are fond of spouting shes an adult now so must make her own decisions however daft/stupid they may seem to us
My DS rents with his GF and intends to get a mortgage sometime in the future. My DD has no intention of renting and will be buying as soon as her income is stable again. It is their choice and whatever I may say will not alter their plans

More of a mug to stay at home with an overbearing mother at 21 than it is to rent.

Get over yourself she's an adult whose done very well to get a job, you should be supporting her not nagging her

airy-fairy talk of jobs

Err... what? Why is talking of getting a job 'airy fairy'? What would you rather she did?

Seems legit.........

My dd is a couple of years older and has moved to Sydney!
Not my choice but I'm very proud of her independent spirit.
At least you can get on a train to visit your daughter.

I've a 26yr old I can send you OP. Can't get the wee shit to move out. 😒

The absolute best years of my life were spent in rented places, either on my own or with friends. I had to work hard to manage my money, learned to cook, and gained independence I never would have had if I had stayed at home. Plus...it was the most fun I ever had! Now I'm older, married with Dcs, but I know I would have massive regrets if I hadn't had that experience in my 20's. You should be thrilled for her...plenty of time to buy a house, if she wants to/can afford...let her have some fun while she's young!

I love this rent is a game for mugs/money down the drain/waste of money.
Where are we supposed to live? In caves or tents?
Not everyone can ever afford to buy a flat or house. Ever.
Putting a roof over your head or your family's head is not a waste of money.

Rant over.

Nah I believe this, dp's parents were the same. Reverse snobbery.

I'm more fascinated as to how you managed to never rent?

I can't possibly think why she wants to move out

My husband and I rented the whole of our 20s. At first it was flat shares and then together. It meant we got to live around the country and get whatever jobs we wanted without having to sell. We slowly saved over the years and bought when I was pregnant and we decided where we wanted to settle.

She won't be miles away from her home, she'll be at home.

Sounds great to me.