DH swearing around baby

[tonightonight]

Okay, so firstly, I'm not going to leave him, that isn't the answer to this problem so please don't suggest that.
My DH is a fantastic dad. Honestly if there was one person destined to be a family man it was him. He is so supportive, kind, caring and more than I ever dreamed of.
But we have a problem. He swears all the time when he is frustrated. And it's not just 'fuck' under his breath. He full on shouts and storms around.
When our son is being difficult he gets so frustrated and shouts fuck this and fuck that. He won't fucking do this or there's nothing fucking wrong with him etc.
I've asked him to stop because a) I get very protective when he does this b) I hate the idea of anyone swearing at/around my baby and c) it's a bad habit to get into as the baby is only going to get bigger and more aware.
He says it's not a problem because he obviously won't do it when the baby can understand what he's saying but I really need him to stop. We've spoken about it and he promised he would and he did for a while, but it creeps back in and I'm fed up.
If I've had a long, difficult day of dealing with DS I feel like I don't get to 'share the load' when he gets in because I know he'll just get frustrated. DS rarely cries though, when he does it's loud and can sometimes only be soothed by going out in the pram or in the car. But as he's 6 months I need him to start being able to sooth himself a bit more. When DH is dealing with him when he's upset after I've been told to sit down and rest, I end up having to take over anyways and DH sulks that DS calms down around me.
Does that make any sense? Probably not, I'm a bit frazzled after another fight about it.

So, the only people giving "objective" advice here are the folk agreeing that your husband is a wonderful father who just needs a bit of understanding

Deary me

But when he gets pushed over the edge he swears and stomps around.

The baby is 6 months old. It isn't doing any pushing of anyone to the edge.

Your DH has an issue managing his temper.

OP, you aren't doing yourself, DH or your baby any favours by constantly believing how wonderful and perfect he is. Everyone has flaws, even parents who seemingly have ALL their shit together. He, with your support, needs to work on his problems and sort them before they get worse if you are to have a happy family life together. So no, I don't think you should leave him - yet. If he takes real steps to improve and is serious about it, and DOES improve with help, all well and good and this is just one of those bumps in the long road. If things don't get better then yes, you need to re-evaluate things. But for heaven's sake take the blinkers off NOW, and take action (well he needs to I mean, no-one else can do it for him but you can support him, if he is serious about trying to change).

So, the only people giving "objective" advice here are the folk agreeing that your husband is a wonderful father who just needs a bit of understanding

Exactly, AF.

OP, carry on as you are. Your son will be fine, your relationship will be fine, you know best....

OP:

That is abhorrent. It is not about the baby "understanding", it's about a grown adult thinking it is in any way a decent thing to do. As for the raised voices and aggression which accompany his swearing - I am appalled to think any child should be in such a situation. He should be ashamed.

Your husband needs to control his temper.

Shouting and swearing every time you get frustrated isn't nice. I'm not a confrontational person and that kind of thing would get my back up.

I don't think you're being PFB. Babies pick up on these things.

If he started this when baby was 8 weeks old, and all that time he's known it's wrong, has been sorry and he's felt bad after, why on earth hasnt he sought help before now? He knew the second time he did it that his "working on it" hasn't worked, never mind the third or fourth time.

Im not convinced about him having depression as it seems to be only the baby he can't control his temper around, but if I genuinely felt it was depression and he refused to get help I'd be concerned that untreated he could lose control in other ways, I know you say he isn't a risk but if it's try he can't control his temper around baby, how can he say with conviction that he wouldn't get worse? The thought of not being able to control his anger at his baby should have had him marching himself to the doctor four months ago.
I'd want to know exactly what how his "working" on it differed from what he's been doing to "work on it" the last four months, I'd want to what his exact plan is, where he plans to get help from as from everything you've said, he doesn't think he has a problem and his idea of working on it means doing nothing until you stop broaching him about it and he loses his temper at baby again in a few months and then he will be saying sorry, him saying he knows it's wrong, him saying he will sort himself out maybe even saying it won't happen again is a well followed script.

Hope he gets help.