Ex is now looking for his CDs. We are divorced/separated for 8 years!

[Elendon]

I've no idea where they are. They could have gone with the any old iron man or are in the house. But, I just wish he would fuck off out of my life. He expected his children, two of which are adults to take care of it. AIBU to think, fuck off! He had a chance to get them when he left. He's with a new partner and has twins.

I split with my ex 17yrs ago and still managed to find some certificates of his in the loft.

I just handed them to the kids and they passed them on.

YABU to think fuck off, unless he's hounding you about them etc.

YANBU

Meant to add, I've bought my own house from the divorce and this has just been a recent request.

But what's wrong with him asking his kids to see if they can find them?

He cleared out his stuff before the sale though Worra. He wasn't interested in the CDs and now is.

"Hi X, not sure if I still have them as I got rid of a lot of stuff you didn't collect ages ago. Will have a look around but can't promise anything. I'll let you know when i I had a chance to check."

Problem solved.

He just wants to have a nosy around the house. I know where he lives and he knows where I live and if we change mobile numbers or email addresses then we let each other know.

I've never been to his new house. I've never met his partner, or his children.

I think it's hilarious, I would have laughed if my DC had told me this.

Just roll your eyes and be glad he's your ex!

How is it that he wants to have a nosy round the house if he's asked his DCs to sort it? I don't think it's an unreasonable request of his tbh. Unless there's a fairly substantial backstory to this as to why he's still making you angry, YABU.

I don't want to check if they are here though. Why should I spend my weekends searching for his stuff?

Get one of the dc to look in the loft. If they're not immediately obvious, tell him they're not there. I certainly wouldn't let him in the house.

I think it's hilarious too. Who the heck wants old CDs anymore?

I did find some old vinyls I could give him. Would that shut him up?

I don't want to know about his life. And I wish he would stop using the children we share to poke his nose into mine.

"Not sure if I still have them. Will keep my eyes open though and if I spot them will pass them on. Hope you, Susie and the kids are doing well."

And then do exactly that. If he's gone 8years without them he's hardly desperate. If you have them sooner or later you will discover them (probably whilst looking for something else). If so, pass them on. No effort needed.

Have you still got your divorce papers? I know my has something about full and FINAL settlement on there. Just remind him that. 8 years is ridiculous

Let the DC look on the shelves etc. and tell him they're not there, don't get involved.

Do you actually have any CDs in the house (out on "display").

No you don't need to waste your time looking for them, you don't have to let him in to look for them and no he doesn't have the right to be asking you to find stuff that he left behind after being given the chance to go through the house before it was sold.

"Tell you what, next time I move house, I'll look out for them when I'm packing"

He's asked the kids to sort it though

How does that mean you have to sort it, or that he wants to nosy around your house?

I don't get it.

Just say if you come across them you'll pass them to one of the kids. Or set a 10 minute timer and have a quick look for them- if you find them well and good, if not just say as much.

You can always return them if you find them later on.

Don't say or do anything. Not your problem.

You don't want him in your house, he wants to get in your house to look round.

So just tell him that you don't have them - he either took them before, or they got chucked with the rest of the leftover junk when you moved house, but they most certainly are NOT in your house.

On the other hand, if you really want to be correct about it all and you think there is the slightest chance that you DO have them, then look for them for him - painful and irritating though that would be, it would be 100x better than HIM looking for them.

Either way - find them and give them back, or tell him they're gone, and then hopefully he'll fuck off.

They are not kids though, two are adults with their own lives and sorted out their own stuff and one is a teenager with autism, who wouldn't have a clue.

He had his chance to sort them out. Believe me there were hundreds. I think they have gone to be honest. I moved from a 4 bed semi with a garage and a huge loft to a three bed end of terrace. I spent a lot of time and money clearing out the stuff. He was a compulsive shopper and I was shocked at the rubbish I'd found in the attic, I had to clear.

I think you're making a massive thing about nothing tbh.

two are adults with their own lives

I'm sure when they have a little bit of time they can have a quick look around, then text their dad to say whether they've found them or not.

Mountain - meet molehill.

There you go then - get your DC to tell him they're long gone.
Tough bloody nuts - he should have got them way before this!

I think if I find them I'll pass them on. I'll give him the vinyls. They were his before we met.

I did separate his CDs from mine. But all I can find are mine.

Tell him you got rid of them years ago and to sign up to a Spotify subscription. Who needs CDs any more?