Ex is now looking for his CDs. We are divorced/separated for 8 years!

[Elendon]

I've no idea where they are. They could have gone with the any old iron man or are in the house. But, I just wish he would fuck off out of my life. He expected his children, two of which are adults to take care of it. AIBU to think, fuck off! He had a chance to get them when he left. He's with a new partner and has twins.

Your Dad is wrong when it comes to documents relating to income, though Blurry. Records should be kept for at least 7, or is it 10 now? years, in case the tax man ever decides to investigate.

Goddamn it, that wasn't meant to be any kind of pun, using records on a thread about CDs! I meant financial records.

Tbf the dad in question did say anything is is not an important document it can be binned, and I imagine he probably considers income documents to be of the important variety.

Nquartz I don't think so.

I'd be very surprised if any of my 3 boys were on Mumsnet

That's true, Holger. Sorry, Blurry (Or rather, sorry Blurry's Dad!)

I honestly didn't realise anyone used CDs anymore.

misses point of thread entirely

Elendon you can have your home any way you want it.

You don't have to explain it.
You don't have to make excuses for it.
You certainly don't have to apologise for it.

Handed over the vinyls and said sorry no CDs. Let's hope that's the end of that! His reply was a shrug and surprise at the vinyls (prefab sprout and morrisey mostly).

It felt good to get that last vestige out of the house.

Stop making such a big deal out of it! He didn't ask you, he asked the children. If they choose not to go look or can't be bothered, that is between them and him. I don't know why people are suggesting all kinds of texts for you to send him, no response required from you.

You should have immediately said no, of course I haven't got them, we've been divorced eight years, I wasn't going to store your junk.

He can buy them again on Amazon or eBay cheaply.

There you go, 'a shrug'.

It really was much more of a big deal to you, than to anyone else, including him and the kids.

honeyroar he didn't ask the OP for the CDs.

He asked his adults kids, who couldn't be bothered.

The OP involved herself unnecessarily.

He asked the children and then they asked me.

He knew they would ask me. He couldn't ask me himself. I hate that approach and it's totally unfair on the children who don't care about his bloody CDs anyway.

Well that's done and dusted then, Elendon, and he didn't set foot in your new home (and haven) so hurrah!
Hopefully he won't "suddenly remember" anything else he might be able to look for...

It sounds like he is still trying to exert some control in your life. Have you looked at the grey rock technique. Hopefully it will give you some tools to shut him down and out.

Stop making a drama out of it.

Just tell him there are no tangible items of his or your past relationship in your possession and that he has no legal recourse over this issue.

OMG would some of you listen to yourselves! Elendon has pretty much explained that he was a controlling bastard (to those who care to read between the lines) and you're STILL going on about her making it a "drama" and "about her" - she's reacting to his continued interference in her life, when she thought/hoped she was free from him!

I see he's been and you've given him the vinyl. Should he come back about the cds just tell him either he took them 8 yrs ago or you binned them shortly after you binned him, whichever makes you feel better.
As to cleaning the front door for his visit I'd have been more likely to have smeared mud over it to wind him up!

How is it unfair to ask his two adult kids, if they wouldn't mind seeing if his CDs are about?

Seriously, if something that simple gets you so annoyed, you need to tell your adult children to leave you out of these things.

Seriously it's hardly likely to scar the kids. They passed the msg on. You looked Nd reported back no cds. End of story.

He's always had contact with the children whenever he wants it. I've never stopped that. The children know and have a relationship with their brothers even though the distance is 300 miles away.

It's just that I said I would prefer no contact after reading advice from mumsnet. Good grief we used to go Xmas shopping for presents post separation - why I did this I don't know. The no contact seems to rile him somewhat and he always pinches a response on stupid things like bloody CDs or ringing my doorbell. We were not able to go to mediation because the interviewer (a man) said he was controlling and abusive.

I'd smear the front door in mud as well 😂

Just ignore completely. Put it completely out of your head.

Once the divorce is done and dusted they're not his CDs any more. Nothing in your house is. And I do think it's unreasonable he asked your adult kids, because they may not understand that what once was their father's he has no claim to anymore, and they could easily have just taken things that he had no right to and given them to him.

Glad it all seems have blown over now though OP. Hopefully it all goes back to peace and quiet for you. Some people have got a cheek.

Worry they're not his CDs.