AIBU to ask your advice on wether it's worth taking my Neighbours from hell to court?

[Totallyattheendofmyrope]

I've had threads on here about my neighbours from hell.
We've been threatened, sworn at harassed and our visitors harassed.
We have involved the police who initially wanted to issue a harassment order against said neighbours but were overruled by their superior officer who said " it never ends well in neighbour disputes"
The actual abuse has reduced significantly though we still endure low level harassment.
I'm keeping notes etc as recommended by the police.
I've pushed for mediation and have met with the mediator however neighbours are stalling and I doubt very much they will attend.
Currently the favourite form of harassment is to park their vehicles to make it quite difficult for me to park. I can get in and I can get out but I do dread weekends and I dread coming home as I'm always so anxious about what they will have done and will I be able to get in ok etc.
I have checked my deeds and they are blocking my "easement ' and it states in the deeds that no one is allowed to do anything to hinder another's ingress and egress.
Currently the neighbours are freely enjoying and utilising the easement I honour and provide them with on my land.
So- Aibu to consider starting legal proceedings or am I just feeding into their crazy?
What would you do?

Ok so devils returned last night and after much talking and too much 🍺 I have passed on the other girls details.

Despite dds misgivings and embarrassment I think it is the only and the right thing to do.

So now I just have to wait and let the police do their jobs.

That's absolutely awful - those poor girls

I really hope the police take proper action this time.

A relative had a neighbour dispute which was 6 of one 1/2 doz of the other (so not as bad as your situation at all) and was all verbal. One day it all got too much for relative when neighbour said something really awful. Relative lost his temper and hit neighbour. He got locked up for 6 months. (completely deserved imo)

So please hold on to the hope that things can and will be done - especially now that they have (horrifyingly) assaulted your Dd and visitors.

what utterly nasty people they are!

Did you have any progress with the police ?

I gave the police the information they needed. They haven't asked to speak to my dd yet but I know they have been in touch with one of the girls mothers. I also know they had a meeting on Friday as a team to decide how to move forward but I don't know what the outcome was.
I suppose I read about all the important things going on and I feel guilty for taking up their time iyswim? Then I think of my lovely dd and

This weekend we were invited to a neighbourhood barbecue by our other side neighbours, it was really a lovely day and great to be around such lovely people.
During the BBQ my dd nipped home and found the twats dog intimating all over our garden, the neighbours were frantically looking for her, my dd took the dog over to them...alone.... gave them back their dog. 3 adults were present and their dc they all just scowled at her, their middle ds (he is the only one who appears socially adept) smiled quite embarrassed and thanked dd.
I was very proud of her for not allowing herself to be cowed by them, she is just so much better than them.

So currently I'm waiting.

*urinating

I wouldn't count on the police.. Honestly I would just keep your head down and move asap. It isn't worth the hassle or distress - the impact on you and your mental health. Even if you win you won't be comfortable living there.
I had a nightmare neighbour for 10yrs. Police involved etc. Nothing he did, that I could prove was him, was particularly illegal. They were building an harassment case. But they'd have a word with him and he would leave us alone for a few months then something would set him off again. The officers kept changing and I would have to go through everything again. Not helped by the change to Police Scotland... I was told to log certain things with the local station then when Police Scotland started they wouldn't log anything without coming out... and what they came out for was minor on its own and not illegal . And it was never the same officers.
One eg was he used to come into our garden and trim a tree/hedge I was growing for privacy ( he had built raised decking that was like a viewing platform for our garden and inside our house and he used to lean on it staring at us) - he would shape it so he still had a view (and invaded our privacy) but it gave him privacy from other neighbours by forming part of his 'hedge' - he could have kept his view, given us more privacy but he would have had less privacy.
For an easy life and to keep the peace I turned a blind eye at first - he just took the piss even more -and also I was a bit scared of him. Then I realised what a bully he was so I told him to stop ...so he started to hang over his fence and hack it instead. The police told me not to cut it at all so all the damage was him... so I didn't... He started cutting the side that gave us privacy and leaving the rest. It was overgrown and had started growing over his fence a bit - one lot of officers obviously thought it was reasonable of him as it was so overgrown
He was a bully, waited till DP was out before he came round or had a go at me on the Street. Like you OP I was a bit worried about my DPs reaction ...
Nightmare neighbour used to try and block me in by parking a cm away from my bumper - he did the same to DP once and he went round and told him to move... They nearly came to blows.
And ignoring him didn't work as then he kept trying to get my attention, get a reaction. I got to the point where I dreaded coming home, never used the garden - would check he could wasn't around from an upstairs window before hanging washing out. I would jump when someone came to be the door (even after the police had told him not to - to only speak to DP). He also refused to go to meditation...
We were in the process of moving when he died suddenly. I had lots of mixed emotions about it - guilt, regret, sadness and relief. I also realised what a huge impact he had had on my life - I was always on edge even inside -waiting for what he was going to do next. It took years for me to relax - eg 3 years after he died I was gardening and some one on the street coughed and I froze with fear...(he had a smokers cough and he would cough and spit when I went past - he would deliberately cough really loudly every time he heard me open the door.. I know cos I did a test once.. )
Sorry huge post - but just move... I wish I had straight away in retrospect ... Money or principle aren't as important as your mental well-being and you can't win with people like that ..

Why do you think he behaved that way unlucky?
Do you think he was lonely?
Did he have family or visitors?

I actually like my house and neighbourhood.
But I agree with what you're saying, for whatever reason these people become obsessed. At the moment dh is home often but soon he will be changing his job responsibilies soon and will be absent more regularly. I expect the bully will quiet down and rear up again.

The positives for us are, we have a buffer in between us, they do have one window at the top of the house that can look in our garden - I often see the mother and the teenage dd hiding but watching me do yoga.

We have been assigned a psco who is overseeing everything so hopefully there will be continuity.

Currently I'm working on building relationships with other neighbours.

Sometimes op I think we can become fixated in the 'why' of things and use it as an excuse for poor behaviour because we wouldn't behave that way without reason ourselves however some people are just like that.

No reason.

I'm not suggesting you should accept this appalling behaviour but in earlier posts you asked how to ignore or let it go and I wondered if it might help in all your other moments to ignore the voice in your head that keeps focussing on the twats. Every time your internal voice mentions them just thank it and move on to a more positive thought about other things. It does take lots of practice but it also sounds like you'll have plenty of opportunity to practice. (feckers!)

I think it's a great idea to foster good relations with all the other neighbours. I also liked the idea of an obtrusive body cam.

They are so immature that they are addicted to your responses to their abusive bullying behaviour.

Oh op, I am so angry to read this update. Your poor dd.

Our old neighbours also used to spy on us, I used to give them a cheery wave whenever I caught them. They seemed to take great pleasure in tormenting us. The final straw was when dh and I were walking down the road and dh had hold of dd's reigns. The two teenage daughters were walking in the opposite direction and deliberately walked into dh and started pushing him almost knocking dd over.

We moved eventually (we were renting) and I have since learnt from our nice neighbours that the family has broken down and moved. The father is an alcoholic who is frequently seen drinking in the local park. Apparently the kids were terrified of him. I don't think that's any excuse though and I feel rage towards them even thinking about them. I hope they rot in hell.

I sincerely hope that this issue is resolved for you soon op.

So sorry OP, I remember your original post.

Hi OP, I am so sorry to see that the situation is getting worse. I am a solicitor too and would move house rather than begin a dispute with a neighbour. The only people who will gain anything out of it are your solicitors.

I worked as a volunteer at a free legal advice centre for years and helped people with all sorts of anti social behaviour and it can have a serious impact on your life.

I was once dealing with a neighbour harassing a young mum and he was clever enough to intimidate her in ways he couldn't be arrested for. She was terrified and the council wouldn't move her. The police said they couldn't do anything as it wasn't serious enough. One day he verbally abused her without realising that someone else could see what he was doing. It frankly was not enough to arrest over but the police went down to where he worked and made a great show of taking him to the station. They had to release him but made the point that every time he upset his neighbour, they would be back. It stopped the game he was playing permanently.

The other is not legal but very effective. In my street there are large old houses split into flats and not enough parking. Some people double park and block others in and the police really aren't interested.

There was one particular car that was a real nuisance. The driver obviously annoyed the wrong person one night because for 3 nights in a row, the nuisance car was picked up and moved. The third and final night, it was moved into the middle of the road... The police came out then and got the owner up. He never double parked again.

I gather that one of my neighbors plays rugby and he called on his mates for a favour! He never got into trouble though.

Thanks everyone - I really appreciate your stories, it makes me feel less alone iyswim?

The thing is our neighbour thinks he's being clever...he probably thinks what can we do, it's only water etc but unfortunately for him he's
wrong. The officers were clearly unimpressed with him.

The police at this point are sick of him.

I think he's hoping I'll just give up and put up, bit I simply won't accept it.
I told the officers that the only acceptable level of attempted intimidation is none and that I will continue to report until someone helps me. I'm hoping that the polices itritation with me will motivate them

The twats don't want to deal with the police at the door...at the end of the day they are very status driven.

I don't think anything will come of this bit I am hopeful that the police will do something that maybe just riles him a little and encourages him to cease.

I think they may be motivated by shame and appearances.

Once the police have concluded my dh is going to reach out into twat dh's job...my dh is in the same line of work but in a much more senior position with a different company. He's decided it's time he reached out and made some connections to twat dh's superiors in a clearly visible way.

Has this appeared in the Daily Mail yet?

Seriously VanillaSugar ? That's what you went with as a good contribution to support the OP?

Or maybe it's a cursory warning to the OP not to reveal any more identifying information

I can't imagine the daily fail would be to interested in my pedestrian problems

I'm not sure if the police have spoken to our neighbours but last night was the first time since March that they both parked appropriately.
I'm not sure that's a good thing though.
This morning I was putting the bins out and twat wife came out and went to our shared neighbour and knocked and said "can I have a word with you"?
I'm under no illusion that she waited for me to put the bins out so I would see.
I'm also fully aware that my relationship with shared neighbour has reduced considerably since twat neighbour last visited her.
Before they would wave and chat now they barely look us in the eye

Of course they won't be telling shared neighbour the truth will they?

But still I am gobsmacked at the lengths these people will go to and why at this point they are still trying to escalate.

I have absolutely no idea what it is they hope to achieve

Just make sure you keep a log of everything.
Keep ypur cameras up.
They're bullies.

I wonder if it would be worth asking the nice neighbours what's been said?

Sorry for slow response - he wasn't lonely, he lived with his wife and had family round to visit a lot...
Actually he rarely went out - which made it harder as he was always around and his daughter and two of his older grandchildren ( late teens/early 20s) also used to lean over and stare at us -(in the garden and in the kitchen) when they were visiting.
He seemed to think everyone had it in for him -he had problems with more or less everyone in the area ...
He complained about another neighbour - he was in his garden and they tried not to look, not to invade his privacy- he thought they were snubbing him.
We have to park on the road - one day when my DC was a baby I realised I had forgotten something in the house - I ran back to get it and as I was diving in the house I saw him - he thought I had run in to avoid him (before things got bad and I was avoiding him).
His dog got out and was running in the road - I took it round ...he took that as I was criticising him for his dog getting loose. His cat got run over and someone found it dead on the street - so they took it round - he wasn't in and not knowing what to do they left it on his doorstep and went back to explain as soon as they noticed he had come home. He thought they were being spiteful -had left it there just to upset him.
The list is endless ...and I have just realised that he always thought the worst of others - which might be a reflection on his own personality .
I will say again - I would just move asap ...no matter what the police do you will be stuck beside someone who hates you...

Thanks for coming back unlucky, it sounds really similar behaviour tbh.
This family seem to think everything we do is 'against' them.
Innocent daily tasks that we do always twisted by them to fit some sort of vendetta.
Interesting too that it appears to be within the culture of some families...a kind of ingrained behaviour that others subscribe too.
I'm glad things are better for you

*solomon
I'm not sure it's worth asking our neutral neighbour. I did discuss it with my dh but he's Of the opinion that we have been incredibly kind and open to them and if they wanted to talk about it they would ask us.
I have discussed it with other neighbours and I expect neutral neighbours will be getting a different version of events soon enough

Really sorry to hear this. We had such a stupidly similar case for 3 years and it really affected our quality of life and the safety after the birth of our two boys.

For your own safety and peace of mind rent out the property and move in somewhere else, even if it means that you are renting for a long while. Your safety is paramount. Your sleep is probably being compromised, your comings and goings are stressful (I used to lose my temper with my under 3yo on leaving and entering the house, everyday, it was horrible), you probably want to go towards the back of the house and not see them, you strategically bring out the rubbish and bring in the shopping so that you avoid them, you probably want for other neighbours to see what is going on and to say something (they won't). Op, get an estate agent to fully manage the property and find a rental until you can sell. The housing system will allow for you to rent either temporarily or otherwise, regain your strength and freedom . Neighbours like those if left to their own devices destroy themselves and attempt to destroy those around them.

The police speaking to the girls is actually a positive if they do. 13yr old girls should learn that if someone acts inappropriately they can go straight the the police- your DD has nothing to be embarrassed for at all!

I also think you should try inviting middle neighbour round for a cup of tea. Just tell her your at the end of your tether and want some advice from someone who must see a lot of whats going on and to apologise that she is stuck in the middle. Hopefully she'll feel sorry for you and start talking. I think you may be reinforcing whatever twat lady is saying by not been friendly.

Also think workplace is worth a go if police don't have a suitable plan by end of week.

Can I just say that I agree with Tea completely ....I absolutely relate to what she has said. Life really is too short.
I discouraged my DCs to play in our garden - in case he said something to them or when they were younger I would have to be out there too and he would have a go at me. I regret that they lost that opportunity to dig in the mud etc - we used to visit a friend and their DCs were always out in the garden and my DCs loved it - I felt really guilty. When we bought the house to renovate -even though the house was uninhabitable- I would take the DCs there at the weekend etc and eg get the paddling pool out for them... just sitting in the garden and watching them play without being on edge was bliss.

I would be reluctant to get the middle neighbour involved. I tried not to but I once had a chat with one of our neighbours and they brought up their difficulties with nightmare neighbour and said they knew I was having real problems with him. They were really sympathetic. However I mentioned something I suspected he was doing but had no proof - was monitoring. A few weeks later when 'talking' about something else - he told me 'I'm not doing X' - I'm not sure if it was a guilty conscience that made him say that or if the neighbour had mentioned it to him - possibly in an argument. But that meant he knew I was aware and so I had less chance of actually catching him red handed - getting proof. Also I once heard him slagging me off to another neighbour and the other neighbour agreeing - it was hard to hear but then I got the feeling it was to keep the peace, avoid confrontation. As yet another neighbour said (years after they had moved and nightmare neighbour was dead) they appreciated having me as a buffer...deflecting the worst of his behaviour from them. Your middle neighbour might feel like that ...better you get the grief than they do.

Thank you everyone for your posts. I have all of the feelings and experience all that you have described

Unfortunately there is nothing to report, and I really can't see that there will be at this point. The police have not been in touch with me and have not interviewed dd so I don't think they are going to do anything.
I know they contacted one of the girls mothers but I don't know what happened or what came of it?
Both the other girls involved are in holiday ATM.

I took in a parcel for middle neighbour on Friday and dh said when he came to collect it he'd have a quick word. They came to collect it yesterday when dh & I had gone out for a walk. Dd was home alone and didn't want to answer the door..they came 7 times, tag teaming, dd said they were up against the door with their ears and eyes
It felt very aggressive to us- i vetoed dh having a conversation at this point, I can't have any more discord and it appears middle neighbours currently view us negatively due to the twats charm offensive.
When he did collect the parcel he looked a bit sheepish tbh, he just thanked me and went on his way.
The twats are still parking like twats but I have not been verbally abused this week so we'll see what next week brings.