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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to want MIL's dogs in my home?

97 replies

Rose8282 · 19/06/2017 19:58

My MIL got herself two medium sized dogs a couple of years ago who she is quite dotty over. Lately whenever she comes for the day or to stay she brings them with. We have a garden so they tend to go out and then bring their muddy paws all over the house. She tries to stop them going on sofas but they often do when she's not around.
We have a 4 year old and I'm due in 3 weeks time. MIL is has said she wants to visit a lot when new baby arrives but will have to bring the dogs.
It'd be nice if she just acknowledged or asked if it's ok and not just assumed it was. DH thinks it's not a big deal and we should just mop floors after they leave.
Am I being a neurotic overly emotional pregnant lady?! I don't really want two lively smelly dogs messing up my house when I'm dealing with a child and a newborn 😕

OP posts:
Siwdmae · 19/06/2017 20:00

I think I'd just tell her no. Does she live far enough that she'd have to stay over? I definitely wouldn't want dogs staying in my dog free household.

ollieplimsoles · 19/06/2017 20:01

MIL is has said she wants to visit a lot when new baby arrives but will have to bring the dogs.

Fuck no.

wheresmyphone · 19/06/2017 20:02

Yuck. I would hate it. YANBU. Nip it in bud. But get DH to talk to her.

JaniceBattersby · 19/06/2017 20:03

Absolutely no dogs in this house. Not a fan of them at all, especially around babies.

When your DH says you should just mop the floors afterwards, does he mean he's going to mop the floors afterwards, or you? Hmm

SquinkiesRule · 19/06/2017 20:03

When she next mentions she wants to visit a lot when the baby comes, smile and say you'd love to see her, but the dogs need to stay home. Having to mop and clean each time they is not fair on you, you will have a new baby to care for. Dh needs to get a spine and back you up on this.

Suntrapped · 19/06/2017 20:03

YANBU

How rude to bring her pets into your house!

I wouldn't have anyone bring a dog into my home, particularly with a new baby around. Their immune systems are very immature at birth and dogs can bring all kinds of bacteria and diseases.

Just say no, she needs to leave the dogs with a friend when she visits,

Nocabbageinmyeye · 19/06/2017 20:03

Yanbu. I'm not a doggy person, not a hope would she be getting in my door with them and I think she is super cheeky to not have asked

Redken24 · 19/06/2017 20:04

Er fuck no.
Just no.

BarbarianMum · 19/06/2017 20:05

Just say no. You need to nip this in the bud. Tell her no dogs in your house.

This "thing" of taking your pets to other people's houses is just rude.

heateallthebuns · 19/06/2017 20:05

Dogs with a newborn are not a problem for me, I would be of the opinion that they help the immune system. However, if you don't like them they shouldn't come. Why can't she leave them at home?

Chattymummyhere · 19/06/2017 20:05

Nope. I have dogs and I don't allow other people's dog in my home.

Just tell her they cannot come at all.

pandarific · 19/06/2017 20:05

No way. Dogs get dog sat, or at the very least they stay outside the whole time, in the garden.

80sMum · 19/06/2017 20:07

That is the trouble with having a dog, it ties you down. When my DCs were little, my mum very rarely came to see us, because she couldn't leave the dog on its own. Could your MIL's dogs stay out in the garden if you had a shelter they could sit under if it rains? Or maybe you could get a couple of dog cages and pop them in those whenever they come in the house? If MIL doesn't like it, she will have to either not come or leave the dogs with someone else for the day.

barrygetamoveonplease · 19/06/2017 20:07

Say no.

RandomMess · 19/06/2017 20:07

I am a doggy person and I still YANBU, it's a rude assumption they can come along and they do make a mess!

HildaOg · 19/06/2017 20:07

No way.

Reow · 19/06/2017 20:08

I love dogs, but you do not take your dogs to someone else's home if they're not welcome. Especially with a child and a newborn.

pigsDOfly · 19/06/2017 20:09

Nope you're not being neurotic, I wouldn't want somebody else's dog in my house either, let alone two of them and I'm a dog owner.

I don't take my dog to other people's houses. Just because I love her doesn't mean I expect everyone else to.

Not sure how you get round this without offending MIL but it's your home and you're entitled to want it kept dog free.

Suggest you let you DH speak to her about it if you don't feel able, he's her son after all. Very unfair of her just to expect to impose the dogs on you.

AddToBasket · 19/06/2017 20:09

This is really a balance, though?

You can say no but you reduce the amount of support you might get from your MIL.

Clearly the dogs cannot 'just stay home'. They need looking after. Dog sitters are not available at the drop of a hat, etc. I'd be more inclined to ask if she could just keep them outside or in the kitchen/utility room at night.

Moregilmoregirls · 19/06/2017 20:09

Another yanbu. The dogs stay away or she does not come.

mrsclaus100 · 19/06/2017 20:13

Would be an absolute no from me. She should know better than suggest bringing two dogs to a house with a newborn. I'll be fuming

Gemini69 · 19/06/2017 20:15

Absolutely NOT.. new born or not.. NO DOGS in my house

Applesandpears23 · 19/06/2017 20:18

YANBU I just had baby 2 and I am only accepting visitors who aren't bringing toddlers with them. I can't handle the additional noise and mess yet. I think that non helpful stress generating visitors should get one short visit in the first month. Longer or more frequent visits are for people who will help in some way and make life easier. Just say no it isn't convenient.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 19/06/2017 20:20

Either - Have a word with your mw and engineer she visits when mil is there. Have her suggest how ridiculous it would be if your dh hasn't grown a pair by then.

Or big girls pants and say you aren't happy with that at all. .
As a dog owner (3) that's so rude and disrespectful. .
Suggest she won't be able to hold the baby much if she is handling the dogs anyway . so she may as well not visit!! Grin

caffeinequick · 19/06/2017 20:22

I'm a dog person and I don't think you are being unreasonable. However if you do want the support of your mil would she agree to them being restricted to the kitchen/utility? My dog doesn't come in the main bit of our house, she's allowed in the utility and kitchen.