Re father's day cards in school?

[malificent7]

I am probsbly being a bit unreasonable here.
Dd has never met her dad.. he ran off when i was pregnant. She has just started to accept my dp who i have been with 18 months but understandably its been a struggle.

She was upset the other day as they were making fathers day cards in lessons ( year 4).
She felt left out although she is sadly not alone in her school.
She will give the card she made to my dp which is a huge step ( she chose to do this) and has touched me.

But what about kids who dont gave a dad or step dad?

If i pointed this out ti the school would it be the same as an atheist parent complaining about the school nativity?

Im atheist and i gavnt ever compkained about the Christian etjos of the school btw! I do think the father's day card thing whilst well meaning is a bit insensitive.

Id rather she concentrated on the curriculum.

It is all down to how school approaches it. I think 'make a card for a special grown up' is lovely. 'Make a card for a dad unless you don't have one in which case put grandad just to conveniently fit in with other kids' is horrible.

I made many mother's day cards for 'not my mum' and it is shit. I still hate daffodils.

^mother's day has its roots in religion, mothering sunday. not so for father's day. it is just a jump on the bandwagon for Hallmark.

Father's Day also has roots in religion, specifically Catholicism, with a celebration of fatherhood being celebrated on St Joseph's Day on March 19 (as Joseph is considered the 'foster father' of Jesus). Some Catholic country still have their Father's Day on St Joseph's Day.

Furthermore the 'modern' Father's Day also has religious roots, in an Episcopal church here in the U.S. It was founded by Sonora Smart Dodd and certainly not a 'bandwagon jump for Hallmark'.

How is it educational?

Thinking about other people and what they mean to you and how they care for you

At our school the cards are run by the PTA. In the run up week to every Mothers and Father's Day children are taken out of class to have a 'funny photo' taken (props like hats, glasses, wigs etc). These are then printed onto cards and returned to the children to write messages in them. Those without mum/dad in their lives can choose another friend, relative, important figure to write a message to. Some just write "love from X" and can decide later, some have even written them to the teacher and given them out on the last day of term.

It seems to be a sensible solution. Plus it's very easy for the parent to say they don't want kids to take part as it happens every year so they know what to expect.

St Joseph day is also in March

Our school do both Mother and Fathers' day cards. If you don't have one, or they're not in your life, you make a card for someone special to you who helps look after you. They also link the style of cards to what they are doing in art - so weve had pop-up cards, Monet inspired cards and this year cubist. Just for those who feel that everything must be educational.

As a child in the 70s I have no recollection of fathers day

I hated being told to make a Mother's day card for a random female relative. It just reminded me that my mum was totally uninterested in me.

If schools must do it in class, I think the best way of doing it is giving kids the choice of making a Father's/Mother's day card or some totally unrelated craft activity.

I've got male friends in a same sex relationship who have adopted three young children. They had similar issues when one child's teacher told them all they had to make Mother's Day cards.

Unless handled sensitively, the whole Mother's Day/Father's Day thing can be quite traumatic for adopted children (ditto when adopted children are asked to bring in baby pictures or do their family tree).

Most teachers are quite sensitive these days, but not all.

I think those children who don't have a dad or step dad or anything should make a card for another family member. That way they are still included.

I guess this is a new thing? At least as a typical school activity. I don't think we made cards at school. I just remember taking my mum a daffodil during the church service for Mothering Sunday, which is a bit different.

I think making cards 'for someone special' is nicer. I do think the idea of making two cards for each day for a child with same-sex parents is, well, crappy and insensitive, though. That would bug me more - the message 'we'll shoehorn you in somehow'. If it's going to be done at all, it needs to be flexible enough for children to enjoy it and connect it with actual bonds and emotions.

Kel - it is very very lonely being included in something by tweaking it. If you have feelings of grief or abandonment, picking another person for your card is tough. It's a simple solution for the teacher but too simplistic for the child's emotions.

I remember a boyfriends mum saying 'I'll be a mum to you' when she found out I was motherless. But I did not want any random replacement mum, I wanted mine!

YANBU. If people personally want to celebrate Mother's/Father's/Valentine's it's fine but being forced on them by school when they don't know people's circumstances I find weird.

ms marvel sad though it is that your daughter's school does not make Father's Day cards, it is even sadder that you can't be arsed to find a piece of card and encourage her to make one at home since a home made card is so important to her. Schools and shops do not have a monopoly on card making .

So let's make a list of everything that should be excluded fron the curriculum so someone somone doesnt feel left out or sidelined:
Mothers Day
Fathers Day
Birthdays
Christmas
Easter
Eid
Hannuka
All other religious festivals
Sports day
Anything that involves dressing up
Events in school time (excludes working parents)
Events in the evenings (excludes those with no childcare)
Events at weekends (excludes those who work shifts)
Anything extra curricular for which payment is needed.

And on. And on.

Sounds great. Lots more time to prepare for those SATS.

Oh God, I forgot Fathers Day cards. We had a manic week at school and just forgot. In my defence, I forgot to send home Mothers Day cards too. Am rubbish teacher. I'll get my coat.

My DDs school have never made Mothers day or Fathers day cards. I think it is sad. It is part of our culture and should be celebrated.
Kids should be encouraged to think about all their mum or dad does for them.
I understand it is diffficult for some children's situations, but surely the teacher could work around it "make a card for someone in your life who is like a dad to you" etc rather than not do it at all?

My son is still in nursery so may be slightly different but we just asked the staff that he make something for his grandad instead. They are generally good about it and also help him to make two Mother's Day presents. We don't have a problem with them making cards but make sure th staff are sensitive to families that don't have a father/mother etc ie just making a card for someone special.

What about Mother's Day is that ok with you...if may not be with others
Seriously you are being unreasonable,
Unless you also want mothers day banned and any other day that might not sit with everyone
It was lovely she gave it to step parent - step parent could be a far better dad than sperm donor was

A class I was in this week made these suit jacket cards. It was definitely educational as there was much measuring and cutting and accurate folding to be done. As well as talking about the people in their lives they care for. One girl made one for her mum and another for his grandad.

My children have never brought a fathers day card home but always bring mothers day cards. It really annoys me ! I am no more important than their father. Either do both days or neither!

I agree with PP who said that the teachers are intelligent enough to gauge the situation most of the time. Sadly it's clear that a lot of people either just don't believe that it's damaging or they don't care.

Luckily my own kids are at the point where it is they rejecting their father but i can't believe that some people are naive enough to think that if the teacher just reframes fathers day with a talk about how all families are different that that makes everything ok

The naivety. Wow

No, it is not the same as celebrating Christmas when there's atheists in the school. That's just plain nonsense.

Atheists aren't people who, through no fault of their own, do not have a deity they can worship. Atheists are neither tormented by a god who doesn't deserve worship, nor are they struggling against poverty because they have no god who'd financially support them.

People who don't have the same belief may consider religious activities a waste of time, but they won't be heartbroken by attending them.

Some children's parents are just shit. That's a fact. Most often the crap parent is the father, but there's also abusive mothers.
And children do suffer from having abusive parents, or absent parents, or being orphans.

Why not just have "make a card day" and let children who want to make a mother's day card or father's day card make one of those, and other children make something for some other relative, or something completely different?

I am a teacher and a single parent to a ds who saw his father once when he was 10 months old, he is 15 now. I understand how painful Father's Day is for many families. I helped 60 Year 3s to make cards but always suggest cards be made for grandads,uncles, significant male family friends. A lot of schools choose not to make cards, it was not my choice to make cards but a decision led by my seniors. To Showergel1; actually a huge number of children in Years 3 and 4 struggle to use scissors, glue, art materials in a fine, detailed way. Many children don't have and have never had this equipment available to them in the home.