About how this cashier and manager treated DD

[SomewhatNewToThis]

First post, have long read this forum but never have I felt the need to post! However, I do now, as I genuinely can't tell if I'm being precious or not.

DD is 14, she looks noticeably young. She's very quiet, has social anxiety and any form of social interaction is a big deal for her. I was quite pleased when she said she wanted to go to town by herself today!

She had bought three bottles of scented spray from a local shop near us for herself. One of the bottles was faulty and didn't work, so she took it back to get a refund. The offer was buy two, get one half price, so DD took the other two back with her. All three had been opened.

The cashier said she'd give DD a refund, as the item was faulty. So she refunded everything onto DD's debit card, DD was happy and everything seeemed fine. However, it turned out the cashier had only meant to refund DD the faulty item, the half price spray. She had made a mistake on the till and ended up refunding DD everything.

The cashier then said DD would have to buy back the other two shampoos at full price as they'd been used, and pick a third one free to replace the faulty half price one. So basically do the original transaction again. However, the money from the refund doesn't go back to the account for three days and DD didn't have enough money in her account to 'buy back' the sprays after the cashier accidentally refunded her all three items instead of the one!

DD was very anxious by this point and a large que had gathered. Manager came down to speak to her, DD said she didn't have enough money to buy back the accidentally refunded items as the money was not in her account and the manager said she had to pay for them, no refund available, as they were partly used and that the other refund was an 'error.' Then asked why DD had accepted the refund knowing she had no money to buy them back, DD said because she thought she was getting a refund for everything, didn't know she would have to buy it back and didn't get why it hadn't put through as an exchange. DD said she had no money to rebuy them again, manager asked her when she would. DD explained that she wouldn't have money for the next two weeks.

In the end, the manager said she had to leave the perfume sprays, took her name, address and phone number and said she had to pay it back by X date. Also said, "we have your details, so we know who you are," and reminded her that she "was on CCTV."

AIBU to be angry? DD says she feels like they've made her out to be some kind of criminal and she feels really embarrassed. She says the manager was rude to her and she got no apology from the cashier for cocking up the refund.

I'm mainly annoyed as she's so young and her anxiety issues are terrible. And J don't think a 14 year old girl should be put in that situation. But I also might just be over reacting as she is my only child

Should have gone like this:

Cashier: 'Which one doesn't work?'
DD: 'This one.'
Cashier: 'Here's another one the same. Sorry for your inconvenience.'

Op, as a mum to a 14 year old just like yours I feel so angry for both of you

The shop should be ashamed, they bullied your daughter and certainly wouldn't have made those demands of a vocal adult

It was their fault, and their problem to rectify not your daughters

She should be proud, hopefully on reflection with her counsellor she will be

You should be proud, she coped, knew when to involve you and kept her head, it was a big step for anyone with anxiety and she needs to know that she did the right thing

The shop are a disgrace, most adults would have told them what to do but then they would never have suggested it to an adult just a vulnerable girl they thought they could get away with doing it to

Velour- I do not know how to reply to your comment directly I am afraid as my IT skills are not that great but I did not think you were criticising me, do not worry!

I only mention her anxiety as I felt it could have possibly played a part in why DD didn't say anything at the time or try and be more forceful. Or perhaps explain my anger, as she is very vulnerable in situations like this. I think most 14 year olds would be nervous but a teenager with anxiety cannot be compared to a teenager who is just nervous. The social anxiety has a huge effect on her life and it's taken a while to get even her to this stage, i.e., being able to buy something unassisted. Some of DD's friends would have no trouble asserting themselves in that situation, although I understand that is not all teenagers and DD's friends do seem quite confident compared to some teenagers.

I have showed her the comments and she feels a little better. She realises it's not her fault now. A part of her anxiety is the whole, "what did I do wrong, did I say the wrong thing, why did I do that," mindset. Thankfully she doesn't seem to blame herself.

And my DD could have phoned me I suppose, but she didn't, probably due to the fact she would have been extremely overwhelmed.

I will go back tomorrow as I don't want the issue to escalate. And DD will be anxious if it's not sorted. Poor thing is convinced they'll accuse her of stealing.

I understand some teenagers may have not cared about this situation, or just phoned their mum. There are more logical ways to deal with it... That's why I feel like her anxiety is relevant- it makes situations like this worse as they implicate her mental health. Her anxiety literally controls her school life, going out, etc... we are slowly teaching her to be more confident and to deal with her anxiety but it takes time and situations like this send her backwards.

I am just glad she seems a little happier now, although I don't truly think she'll move on until we've sorted the situation.

We've had a discussion and tomorrow will ask to speak to manager again. I'm not sure whether to complain or escalate the issue though. DD has requested we just pay the money and leave it, as she doesn't want more drama. But I personally want to complain and get at least an apology.

For those interested, each spray was £4 so a total of £10 with the offer. They were supposed to refund her all of £2, but accidentally gave her £10. So they literally want DD to go in and pay £8 for the two sprays that were incorrectly refunded, or pay £10, buy back the two opened ones and another half price one.

Ok, can I say one thing gently. Can you re read your posts? You repeatedly mention her anxiety. It's constant. And she's reading this. I'm sure you know best, but to constantly referring to it in this way and letting her read it, is that helpful?

She's done great. No way my daughter would have went back. All kids have social anxiety to one extent or another.

Well done to your DD, I think she did awesome. The customer service on this occasion was indeed shit unfortunately-happens far too often

I think most kids in that situation would have reacted the same way, so a small consolation for your daughter is that her anxiety didn't control her.

Your DD is under no obligation to buy back something the shop refunded.

It wasn't her mistake.

Any sensible cashier/manager would have just done an exchange for the faulty item from the offset.

Bluntness, I'm sorry if I mention it a lot. She has been read the comments out loud but she has not read what I have said. DD has many mental health issues amongst the anxiety, so I do tend to always focus on it as it such a big part of my life, perhaps I am projecting too much. I would never wish to upset her.

I also agree that the anxiety is mentioned a little to much - most teens or even adults would have felt very vulnerable and upset in this situation especially if they were by themselves. I was terrified when I asked a staff member to change my cake at Starbucks the other day as mine was (so I thought) very stale, if they had of had the same response to me I would have been so embarrassed and upset. Your daughter did really well to do what she did, it shows a lot of courage to even respond to that bully of a manager. I know it's hard by try not to think about the anxiety to much (the manager wouldn't have known she had anxiety either although that does NOT make how she treated your dd acceptable on any level! That was awful inexcusable intimidating behaviour) I hope it goes well tomorrow for you both.

I was still asking my mum to return things for me at 20 Your DD did amazing and the manager is a fucking arse. His employees error, his problem. Can't believe how they dealt with that. Make sure your DD knows how good she did, that that isn't the norm, and I'd be going down there and having a word. A strong word.

Name and shame on here
Contact head office
You are right to be fuming

Surely if she doesn't return to pay there will be no legal repercussions as a) she's under 18 and b) it was their error?

So management tried to pin their cashiers mistake on your 14 year old daughter.
That's really not on.
Your poor dd.

So basically the cashier fucked up and the managers way of dealing with that is to bully a teenager into believe she's somehow obliged to go back in and pay for the opened scents they've taken from her - no chance would anyone in my family be paying them anything.

They'd very keeping their unsaleable opened bottles and getting a free piece of my mind.

What's so difficult about saying "Oh yes, it's damaged - do you want to get another one?"

This is appalling, your poor daughter. I've often seen teens spoken to badly in shops and I hate it. I have two sons, aged 20 and 17, and I hate to think that they've been treated badly by shop staff.

Please let us know how this works out. I'd be waiting at the door for the shop to open today.

Your DD is doing brilliantly- as others have said many adults have trouble taking things back.

Personally I would complain to the owner. You usually make a complaint to the person above the culprit and as it's partly about the manager the owner seems the only option. And I would imagine they would want to know this is going on.

Good luck!

I'm going to go in to the shop tomorrow and say that I don't think DD should have to buy them back and that the full refund should be honoured as it wasn't her mistake

Don't do this!
Don't tell them 'she shouldn't have to buy them back' because she isn't going to and they can't make her! Don't tell them 'the full refund should be honoured' because she already has her refund, they can't stop it.

Write to head office today staying the following;
*your daughter returned the item in good faith
*rather than exchange the faulty item the cashier mistakenly put through a refund
*the cashier made a second mistake by refunding the total
*the cashier intimidated your daughter and tried to insist she paid again for her items despite the cashier error meaning tour daughter would have been deprived of her money for up to 2 weeks
*the manager intimidated your daughter and told her she would have to come back to buy back her items and threatened that they know where she lives
*both cashier and manager were unprofessional, showed appalling customer service, misled and intimidated a child.

Don't go back into the shop. At all.

Sorry if I missed a post - is it an independent? You need to write to whoever is above the manager in that case

Bloody hell id be straight in there and yelling the manager what I thought in no uncertain terms.
Wtf didn't the cashier just tell your dd to choose a replacement spray.

I'm actually sick of shoddy service and I don't care how inexperienced staff are. A manager should know better.
I recently had a set to with a vets over their incompetence at not registering that I had paid the fees and then trying to charge me twice.
In the nicest tone I could muster I told the accounts manager over the phone never to contact me again and informed her of the excellent service I had received at a rival firm.
I would have gone into the vets in person to complain were it not for the fact that I felt I couldn't trust myself not to smash the useless receptionist straight through the effing window.

Go on op and cause a stink, then tell them to learn some customer service skills.

I wouldn't be going back to that shop ever
Vote with your wallet
Your dd is under no obligation to go back and buy the items back

I agree with Adalin you don’t have to ask them to allow your daughter to keep the refund though. You’re putting the outcome in the hands of people who have treated your daughter appallingly - you need to tell
them what’s what. You should bypass the shop altogether and write to their head office with exactly what you want the outcome to be.

The shop sounds utterly appalling. I'd go back and get this sorted then never set foot in there again

They sound like arseholes & I would go in there tomorrow.

I think if they'd tried pulling a stunt like that with me, I would have have said "if ou'd refunded me there would be money on my card. It's not? Why's that? The money will take three days to reach my account? So you haven't actually refunded me yet? So I HAVE paid for them?" (Picking up bottles) "OK, I'll return them in three days, then, shall I?"

Seriously, go into the shop, speak to the manger, get their name and complain to head office. Yes, teenagers need to learn to stand on their own two feet but i'd make an exception in this case. How dare they treat your daughter (who is clearly honest or she wouldn't have brought all three bottles back in the first place) like that? How dare they use strong arm tactics on a child? As a teenager I would have really struggled in a situation like that. I'm bolshier now (was in a similar situation a couple of years ago where m&s messed up a refund and despite two managers being called they couldn't work out how to sort it. As I had previously worked in m&s I ended up hopping behind the till and sorting it for them...) but at 14 I would have just burst out crying in your daughter's situation.