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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About how this cashier and manager treated DD

129 replies

SomewhatNewToThis · 17/06/2017 17:55

First post, have long read this forum but never have I felt the need to post! However, I do now, as I genuinely can't tell if I'm being precious or not.

DD is 14, she looks noticeably young. She's very quiet, has social anxiety and any form of social interaction is a big deal for her. I was quite pleased when she said she wanted to go to town by herself today!

She had bought three bottles of scented spray from a local shop near us for herself. One of the bottles was faulty and didn't work, so she took it back to get a refund. The offer was buy two, get one half price, so DD took the other two back with her. All three had been opened.

The cashier said she'd give DD a refund, as the item was faulty. So she refunded everything onto DD's debit card, DD was happy and everything seeemed fine. However, it turned out the cashier had only meant to refund DD the faulty item, the half price spray. She had made a mistake on the till and ended up refunding DD everything.

The cashier then said DD would have to buy back the other two shampoos at full price as they'd been used, and pick a third one free to replace the faulty half price one. So basically do the original transaction again. However, the money from the refund doesn't go back to the account for three days and DD didn't have enough money in her account to 'buy back' the sprays after the cashier accidentally refunded her all three items instead of the one!

DD was very anxious by this point and a large que had gathered. Manager came down to speak to her, DD said she didn't have enough money to buy back the accidentally refunded items as the money was not in her account and the manager said she had to pay for them, no refund available, as they were partly used and that the other refund was an 'error.' Then asked why DD had accepted the refund knowing she had no money to buy them back, DD said because she thought she was getting a refund for everything, didn't know she would have to buy it back and didn't get why it hadn't put through as an exchange. DD said she had no money to rebuy them again, manager asked her when she would. DD explained that she wouldn't have money for the next two weeks.

In the end, the manager said she had to leave the perfume sprays, took her name, address and phone number and said she had to pay it back by X date. Also said, "we have your details, so we know who you are," and reminded her that she "was on CCTV."

AIBU to be angry? DD says she feels like they've made her out to be some kind of criminal and she feels really embarrassed. She says the manager was rude to her and she got no apology from the cashier for cocking up the refund.

I'm mainly annoyed as she's so young and her anxiety issues are terrible. And J don't think a 14 year old girl should be put in that situation. But I also might just be over reacting as she is my only child Grin

OP posts:
SukiPutTheEarlGreyOn · 17/06/2017 19:09

Found your perspective really useful, Velour. Like the op my Dd has social anxiety and dislikes shop interaction so sometimes want to wade in on her behalf. Thanks to your post I'll think that through carefully in future to make sure it's helpful rather than hindering. However, in this particular case I'd still be tempted to give feedback as I think their poor customer service was based on the fact that the customer was a teen and they reverted to officious-adult mode rather than showing any respect for her as a consumer (big mistake). It's also important to focus on how great she did taking something back to the shop in the first place, pointing out that customer service was at fault rather than her but at the same time not making too big a thing of it.

limitedperiodonly · 17/06/2017 19:10

I don't understand. It's probably me, but has she got the money back or not?

If not, I think you should go there and sort it out. If she has I'd tell her not to go in there again if she can avoid it.

I know you've said she has social anxiety but it's a pretty big thing for any 14 year old to take things back to a shop. I'd have done it at 14 because I come from a long line of that kind of person. But lots of adults, let alone teenagers, would let it go because they're scared of confrontation. So in the nicest possible way, I don't think you have much to worry about there.

Tell her she's doing well and congrats from me, my mum, my gran etc Grin

Whatnowthen44 · 17/06/2017 19:11

I'd either go in or write to headquarters and demand compensation for your DD.

The cashier sounds incompetent and the manager sounds like a total bitch.

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:13

their poor customer service was based on the fact that the customer was a teen and they reverted to officious-adult mode rather than showing any respect for her as a consumer

This is also a good point TBH, which I hadn't thought of.

user1495025590 · 17/06/2017 19:13

Well the shop people absolutely shouldn't have spoken to her like that , but I am not sure I get your reasoning as to why your DD is entitled to a refund and to keep the goods?

raindropstea · 17/06/2017 19:14

Omg, this is absolutely horrible. I feel so bad for your sweet DD. I was once that girl, timid and shy. I just want to give your DD a hug!
I would ask who the manager is ABOVE the manager who was on duty. I would even write to the HQ about this incident. If you're active on social media, tweet them or put a message on fb. Share this incident! (I have a degree in Comms and work in it - trust me, this will work and get their attention).

I really hope they make this up to you and your DD.

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:15

And OP it all sounds dreadfully complicated (the refund business - not sure why they're holding the 2 sprays if her card was declined) - surely they should be making it as simple as possible for consumers? Something to mention possibly. Good luck to both :)

lazyarse123 · 17/06/2017 19:15

Definitely complain, both cashier and manager are in the wrong. I work in retail and would never speak to a customer like that whatever their age. Their mistake up to them to sort it. Poor kid.

limitedperiodonly · 17/06/2017 19:16

I've read your update. The cashier and manager are stupid. Go in there and sort it out. I don't think your daughter has a big problem with social anxiety. She sounds like a confident girl who has to understand that encounters with stupid people happen all the time and we have to learn to deal with them.

raindropstea · 17/06/2017 19:19

They were intimidating and threatening a vulnerable young girl for their own mistake and then treating her like she had done something wrong.

A transaction can always be voided. I think they could have voided the refund. Maybe not, but in that case, they should have just accepted it as their own mistake and let her go off with the two sprays. This is just awful customer service even if it happened to an adult but she is a child and they intimidated and threatened her for their own mistake.

CancellyMcChequeface · 17/06/2017 19:20

velourvoyageur - I also had anxiety as a teenager. I see your point, but the challenges have to be pitched at the right level. Taking on a small challenge and succeeding builds confidence. Taking on a challenge and having it go wrong is a much worse setback than it would be for a non-anxious person. I know that building resilience is important too, but I think a certain level of confidence is necessary before the resilience can be worked on. At least that was how it worked for me, anyway.

MaisyPops · 17/06/2017 19:20

Awful service. It's not your DD fault that the cashier messed up.

Why they couldn't have received just done a like for like swap on the faulty one is beyond me.

SomewhatNewToThis · 17/06/2017 19:26

I'm sorry if it is confusing, it took me a while to get the story straight myself. Blush

DD does not have the opened items. And she has the money she paid for them. Or will do in three days.

However, the shop- who have the items- want DD to come back and buy the items back as they are open and not resaleable.

DD does not expect to keep the items AND have her money. However, as the refund was a mistake out of her control, and has already been done, I think DD should be allowed to keep her refund and leave the other sprays at the shop.

I understand that opened items cannot be returned. But the fact they were accidentally returned by the cashier is not DD's fault and in this instance surely it is easier to just honour the refund? Hmm

I worked in retail for 10 years and if this was my mistake, I would give the full refund, return the items and make sure I didn't make the mistake again. It's not the mistake I have the issue with- the cashier is human. The issue I have is the fact that the cashier and the manager tried to make her buy it back. In my opinion, good customer service would be saying that they'd made a mistake and in that one instance would honour the refund.

OP posts:
limitedperiodonly · 17/06/2017 19:28

I'm not trying to diminish anyone's experience but being anxious as a teenager is normal. Taking something back to a shop is a big deal for most 14 year olds. Lots of adults wouldn''t do it

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:29

Cancelly

I do recognise what you're saying. It does have to be carefully managed - but I would suggest that DD would be the one to manage it and make decisions e.g. only if she would judge that in this case she needed intervention, she should ask her dad or mum to do this - rather than it being the parents taking the first decision, IYSWIM. That way she is still manager of the situation and 'consulting', if you will, the person who will steer things how she chooses.

Btw I do want to back up all those who've said that so far DD has done very well - going in to get a refund and then engaging in the discussion with the manager - impressive! I think that a lot of kids even without social anxiety wouldn't have that kind of perserverance, so kudos to her for pursuing things.

Funnyfarmer · 17/06/2017 19:31

My teenager doesn't have anxiety. But she would have felt very flustered in that situation.
It was the cashiers mistake. A mistake that would be very difficult to rectify once the transaction had gone through. But people make mistakes.
It was the manager who was at fault here.
I really don't understand why they didn't just replace the faulty item.
It this was me and I had made the mistake I would has just give the girl her other 2 items back and let her keep the refund and put it down to experience. Of course most cashiers wouldn't be aloud to make that decision without the managers say so.
I would put it on social media. One cashier making a mistake and a arsy manager doesn't make a bad company.
I always find them social media slurs very cringey anyway.
Go back tomorrow and speak with manager if no joy then phone head office.

limitedperiodonly · 17/06/2017 19:33

What a palaver. If she has her money I don't see why she should go back. I really don't think they're cut out for running a shop.

londonmummy1966 · 17/06/2017 19:33

I think your daughter did very well. Neither of my similar aged dds suffer from anxiety and yet at least one of them would have come home in tears. Returning items is always hard - I still cringe when returning stuff to M&S...

OP do show your daughter the answers in this thread as I'm sure it will boost her confidence to see how well we all think she has done!

TitaniasCloset · 17/06/2017 19:33

I was just like your Dd once, and I noticed that the customer service I received as a child was appalling, often bullying and aggressive, they would never treat a confident adult in this way.

I don't agree with those saying she needs to sort it out herself, not in a situation like this where she was bullied and threatened by two very stupid adults. Good luck sorting it out tomorrow, give your Dd a big hug.

velourvoyageur · 17/06/2017 19:33

I'm sorry if it is confusing, it took me a while to get the story straight myself.

No need to say sorry, I wasn't criticising you Blush
I haven't heard of this ever - the shops sounds a bit unprofessional really. They sold a customer a faulty product, so should assume costs involved in the original sale. Shouldn't be incumbent on DD to buy up what resulted from their error.

TitaniasCloset · 17/06/2017 19:35

I agree you should show her this thread. She did really well in a horrible situation that would have been difficult for anyone. I'm sure you are not looking forward to going in there tomorrow either.

ChocChocPorridge · 17/06/2017 19:36

Well the shop people absolutely shouldn't have spoken to her like that , but I am not sure I get your reasoning as to why your DD is entitled to a refund and to keep the goods?

Because whoever makes the mistake should generally bear the brunt of the punishment.

They could have just swapped one out, or given her a refund for just one bottle, but they didn't. They are the ones who should therefore rectify the mistake at their own cost - in this case, since OP's daughter couldn't pay until the refund came through, they could have either written off the cost of the two bottles (and gained a very happy customer), or asked her to come back and pay (but let her keep the already open bottles which are of no use to them anyway) - either of which would have been reasonable.

They took the third option, insinuated that if she didn't come back she'd be stealing and they'd have the evidence to go to the police with it. Unbelievably poor customer service, not to mention completely dishonest (it was their own mistake, they don't have a leg to stand on)

If I was OP, I would go back in and have a word about their treatment, but I certainly wouldn't pay, and would never darken their door again.

Bluntness100 · 17/06/2017 19:43

This is nothing to do with anxiety the staff behaved appallingly. Do they have social media, splash it all over that, then name and shame in here and get yourself down to the shop tomorrow, and tell them it's on social media. Bet they back down quick smart.

Honestly. What the hell is wrong with those people. Grown adults working in retail at that.

Your daughters anxiety is on,y relevant in terms of well done her. This was two grown ass adults bullying a kid to rectify their mistake.

Hope they feel proud.

C4priSun · 17/06/2017 19:54

Couldn't DD have phoned you and had you pay over the phone just to get it over with?

Funnyfarmer · 17/06/2017 20:02

Most high street shops don't have the facilities to take payment over the phone.

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